Horrible Sex Life

[miniwyo]

Hey all,

This is the first time I have posted, and I have a major issue.

I have recently just been married. Almost 2 months now. But The last few months has been horrible as far as sex. When we first got together we were having sex almost every night. But now she tells me that for the last 6-8 months I have not been able to satisfy her. This also has lead to what seems to be us fighting more as we have sex less. I want so badly to satisfy her and I now if this isn't remedied soon this could end our marriage.

With our frequency of sex decreasing rapidly, when we do have sex I don't last near as long as I used to, and it seems that I have a harder time getting her turned on. It used to be fairly easy but now all the right places seem to not be so right anymore. I ask her what she likes, she doesn't know. I want her to try to work on this together, it seems like a chore for her and she just can't get into it. Is there any way to get her to help me out here? I have also never been any good at initiating sex myself, it is usually her that does and I don't even really know where to begin to start on that. I KNOW that if the sex issues get resolved, then the small arguments will resolve as well. I just want our sex life and relationship in general to be back the way it was, or even just better than it is now.

Any suggestions?

[ladylove]

Hey all,

This is the first time I have posted, and I have a major issue.

I have recently just been married. Almost 2 months now. But The last few months has been horrible as far as sex. When we first got together we were having sex almost every night. But now she tells me that for the last 6-8 months I have not been able to satisfy her. This also has lead to what seems to be us fighting more as we have sex less. I want so badly to satisfy her and I now if this isn't remedied soon this could end our marriage.

With our frequency of sex decreasing rapidly, when we do have sex I don't last near as long as I used to, and it seems that I have a harder time getting her turned on. It used to be fairly easy but now all the right places seem to not be so right anymore. I ask her what she likes, she doesn't know. I want her to try to work on this together, it seems like a chore for her and she just can't get into it. Is there any way to get her to help me out here? I have also never been any good at initiating sex myself, it is usually her that does and I don't even really know where to begin to start on that. I KNOW that if the sex issues get resolved, then the small arguments will resolve as well. I just want our sex life and relationship in general to be back the way it was, or even just better than it is now.

Any suggestions?

Yes, your right if the sex issues don't get resolved it may end your marriage. Have you ever asked her to let you watch her masturbate so you can see what she's doing to please herself? Will she tell you harder, softer, slower, faster, anything? Does she satisfy you?

This is a problem you both have to solve together. You both have to agree to try together. Will she come on here and read some of of the articles. There is a wealth of info.

Some women can only achieve orgasm through clitoral stimulation.

Is this a new problem or is she just coming forward with it now. If it's new, have her go to the doc and get checked out including her hormone level. Make sure she is completely open with her doc. If it's not new and she is just coming forward with it now, you both have to go through trial and error. But come on the site and read, read, read, learn, learn, learn.

I could come up with a million things for you to try or reasons why, but the two of you need to do the work (research) together and work on it. Good luck and keep us posted.

[Sunday]

But now she tells me that for the last 6-8 months I have not been able to satisfy her.

You have not been able to satisfy her? First thing that needs to happen is she needs to change her attitude. It's not your responsibility to satisfy her. It's your responsibility as a couple to satisfy each other.

[chloegirl]

Don't let too much time go by. You have both got to put 100% into working to resolve this. If you're not careful it will become the norm for you and you don't want to live your life like that. I wonder what the statistics are of how many people stay in marriages with unsatisfying sex lives?

[Mikayla1]

Sunday has that correct, it is not YOUR responsibility to satisfy her. She needs to first know how to satisfy herself, then she can help you to satisfy her.

It seems like you are very newly married to be having these issues already. I would suggest having some conversations. Discussing what you both want and need from your sexual relationship. I am not sure if her telling you that for the last 6-8 months you couldn't 'satisfy her' is the right approach. Has she been faking orgasms? Has she had sex with you nearly every night and NOT been satisfied? Why? There must be other things going on here that are not being discussed. Perhaps, you and she should try to find out what they are!

[Tyger]

<_<I have to agree with the other posters here.

Something doesn't sound right. If you had been satisfying her all through the relationship, unless you've changed your style, or what you do to the extreme, I don't see how she can say that it's all your fault.

Many women go around thinking that it's their duty to make their man feel all big & studly, even if he sucks in bed. I'm not saying you do suck, I'm just saying that maybe she wasn't being entirely truthful. Faking orgasms is, unfortunately, very common. Once in a long-term relationship, the woman either has to try and change how the lovemaking progresses, keep on faking, or live with having poor sex with her SO. It's up to HER, as a loving participant in your sex life, to make sure you know how to please HER, as well as listening to you when you tell her what you do/don't like. Nobody can read your mind, nor can they always successfully read body language. Most men will tell you to be direct when telling them what they need to do, and women should absolutely do the same.

Does she orgasm? Has there been an increase in stress? Has she been getting enough exercise? Does she have the "I'm fat" body-issue? Is she taking any medicines, including antidepressants? All, or just one of these things could be a reason why she doesn't feel satisfied anymore (if ever).

BOTH of you will have to be serious and WANT this to work out. If only one of you makes a serious effort, it won't work. It' has to be a joint effort....just like marriage.

~Best Wishes!