Breastfeeding Exposed

[jesso]

I was having a discussion with someone today who was in a heated forum topic on another site about breastfeeding. Apparently a couple was meeting with a wedding vendor. While in the meeting, the mother drops open her shirt and begins to breastfeed their 1 yr old.

Do you feel that there are certain established levels of social etiquette that exist with public breastfeeding? Is breastfeeding a woman's right to feed her child how she sees fit? Do you feel this is on some level a form of sexual exploitation? Thoughts?

[ilovebabyjada]

i think that women should be modest about breast feeding, sure it's a natural thing, but still. when I was preggers with my first girl, one of my friends gave me a shawl that i could use as a "tent" when in public to breastfeed, no one would see, of course they'd know what i was doing, but i wasn't exposing myself...

[ToyQueen]

I have some pretty strong opinions on this subject. First of all, I breastfed all of my children. Second, I am a certified lactation consultant. I spend a lot of time helping mothers breastfeed. While I can agree with using discretion and modesty, "whipping out your breast" is no more rude than girls walking around with almost nothing on---skimpy bikinis or the like.

Breastfeeding is a natural part of life. That is what they are there for. It is only rude or indecent if it's seen that way.

There are babies who will not take bottles, so pumping before going out is not an option. And sometimes babies get hungry when it's not their "scheduled" time to nurse.

[ToyQueen]

i think that women should be modest about breast feeding, sure it's a natural thing, but still. when I was preggers with my first girl, one of my friends gave me a shawl that i could use as a "tent" when in public to breastfeed, no one would see, of course they'd know what i was doing, but i wasn't exposing myself...

My son wouldn't allow anything to be put over his head while he breastfed. He wanted to see my face, and would tear anything covering his face up. I got quite creative when breastfeeding him in public...

[angelkisses98]

I have some pretty strong opinions on this subject. First of all, I breastfed all of my children. Second, I am a certified lactation consultant. I spend a lot of time helping mothers breastfeed. While I can agree with using discretion and modesty, "whipping out your breast" is no more rude than girls walking around with almost nothing on---skimpy bikinis or the like.

Breastfeeding is a natural part of life. That is what they are there for. It is only rude or indecent if it's seen that way.

There are babies who will not take bottles, so pumping before going out is not an option. And sometimes babies get hungry when it's not their "scheduled" time to nurse.

I have to agree with this one. It's a natural part of life. If you don't like it, don't look. "whipping" out your breast to feed your child is a far far cry from pulling up your shirt and shaking your ta-ta's for beads, and for some reason that is considered more acceptable then nursing in public? Sounds like a double standard to me.

[mailahn97]

I am totally for women needing to care for their child. My daughter went through a time where she would not take a bottle at all...so what should she starve or should I have become a prisoner in my home because of this. Infants are very well known for not staying on schedule. They are far from predictable. Yes I think that if you can cover up some I would agree with doing that, but come on people need to be adult about the subject. This is a natural act of life.

How about having sex or making out in public when you can be caught. Same thing people don't want to see it. Tight or very skimpy clothing in public...shows way too much as well.

I could say if there is a way that if you can't cover up that you could possibly go to your vehicle or a restroom...then do that. So many places in my area now have family restrooms which would make that easier. Before I became a parent yes I would probably had the view of not wanting to see it, but once I had my daughter and experienced how she is in charge not me when she was an infant...that definately changed my view.

[ilovebabyjada]

My son wouldn't allow anything to be put over his head while he breastfed. He wanted to see my face, and would tear anything covering his face up. I got quite creative when breastfeeding him in public...

very good point! never thought of that. when i was breast feeding, well it didn't work.. to say the least my body didn't make enough milk for my daughter, not even close

in the end i felt inadequate that i couldn't meet that need for her.

and i agree with you in the earlier post.. people do need to grow up! Breasts are made for babies to get nourishment from. it's a part of life.

[mystofpric]

I think that what people find to be rude and disturbing is a) the whipping out of the boob with no sense of modesty and the fact that it is such a mundane and normal but intensely personal thing. I mean I have no issue witha woman breast feeding but when the baby isn't there put that thing away, we all know it's loaded and could hurt somebody! But seriously i was wicked disturbed when my little sister had her baby, she'd flip it out long before the baby was ready to feed, and then she wouldn't put it away after the baby was done. I think limiting the time that the breast itself is naked and in the public eye is the key. Otherwise, the nay-sayers can suck it!

[ilovebabyjada]

I think that what people find to be rude and disturbing is a) the whipping out of the boob with no sense of modesty and the fact that it is such a mundane and normal but intensely personal thing. I mean I have no issue witha woman breast feeding but when the baby isn't there put that thing away, we all know it's loaded and could hurt somebody! But seriously i was wicked disturbed when my little sister had her baby, she'd flip it out long before the baby was ready to feed, and then she wouldn't put it away after the baby was done. I think limiting the time that the breast itself is naked and in the public eye is the key. Otherwise, the nay-sayers can suck it!

exactly... don't have it exposed if it doesn't need to be exposed

and the clothes/bra's that they make for breastfeeding help a lot with modesty.

[mystofpric]

exactly... don't have it exposed if it doesn't need to be exposed

and the clothes/bra's that they make for breastfeeding help a lot with modesty.

Yup! I do think though that for every 1 woman who just whips it and leaves it there was 25-50 women who don't.

[ToyQueen]

exactly... don't have it exposed if it doesn't need to be exposed

Why is it that it isn't acceptable to have it exposed to feed a baby, but it is expected if you go to Mardi Gras in New Orleans? There are other examples, but this is the most obvious.

Public breastfeeding is the norm in most countries. Only in the US is it "indecent".

[mystofpric]

Why is it that it isn't acceptable to have it exposed to feed a baby, but it is expected if you go to Mardi Gras in New Orleans? There are other examples, but this is the most obvious.

Public breastfeeding is the norm in most countries. Only in the US is it "indecent".

I didn't say that was acceptable either, and if your feeding a baby, we said it was fine, to just be sitting there wih a breast exposed because you have an excuse and your going to use it is not.

[ilovebabyjada]

Why is it that it isn't acceptable to have it exposed to feed a baby, but it is expected if you go to Mardi Gras in New Orleans? There are other examples, but this is the most obvious.

Public breastfeeding is the norm in most countries. Only in the US is it "indecent".

i NEVER said it was acceptable at mardi gras. i've never been there. and i don't understand the need to flash people...

i also NEVER said it was indecent to breast feed in public, i'm saying that if you are going to breast feed, have your breast out ONLY for feeding.. no need to pull it out and leave it out for 15 extra minutes (before or after)

[ladylove]

I breast-fed all three of my babies and the modesty issue was not small challenge when chasing around other children. However, It was my feeling for myself, if I wasn't exposing myself ordinarily I wasn't going to in public either. I planned my day around a schedule the best I could. If there was an issue I always choose to deal with it the best I could, and have never had to breast feed any of my babies in the public eye. And non of my babies would take a bottle while breast-feeding. I understand what the others say about it being natural and expectable, and don't disagree provided it's done rather discretely. What I find unexceptable is breast feeding a baby in a restaurant just as I would if someone was talking on the phone at the table etc..... Everyone has their own code of ethics and there is no right or wrong answer to this issue. It's all a matter of personal opinion,

[jesso]

Everyone has their own code of ethics and there is no right or wrong answer to this issue. It's all a matter of personal opinion

I couldn't agree more.

[vanilla_bean]

This is something that I have an opinion on! I suppose before I had kids I was pretty nuetral about it, but that changed once I was a mom. If my baby was hungry, I fed her. If I was in the mall, I did not go to a filthy public toilet and try to balance up against a soggy counter to feed her. I did not spend half an hour (or more) trying to pump milk before I left the house, somehow try to keep it refrigerated and then somehow heat it to the right temperature once the baby was screaming hungry. Why would I? It was perfect straight out of the breast. A friend of mine is a fierce breastfeeder and she says, "If you have a problem with breastfeeding in public, put a blanket over YOUR head." I don't get how breastfeeding is offensive. I think that idea was thought up in the Victorian age. Baby's needs come first!

[ilovebabyjada]

This is something that I have an opinion on! I suppose before I had kids I was pretty nuetral about it, but that changed once I was a mom. If my baby was hungry, I fed her. If I was in the mall, I did not go to a filthy public toilet and try to balance up against a soggy counter to feed her. I did not spend half an hour (or more) trying to pump milk before I left the house, somehow try to keep it refrigerated and then somehow heat it to the right temperature once the baby was screaming hungry. Why would I? It was perfect straight out of the breast. A friend of mine is a fierce breastfeeder and she says, "If you have a problem with breastfeeding in public, put a blanket over YOUR head." I don't get how breastfeeding is offensive. I think that idea was thought up in the Victorian age. Baby's needs come first!

yes! jeeze.. i can't believe this got into such a heated discussion.. It's not that big of a deal to breastfeed in public, even before i had my daughter.. it's a natural thing. bathrooms are gross, why do it in there, they have benches in most malls, sit and feed, and when you're feeding, it's not like people can actually see the nipple, the baby has that. it's like wearing a low cut dress, until you are done & covered up again.. and cut the mom some slack, she just had a beautiful baby & is meeting its needs... if people have a problem, then don't look!!

[mystofpric]

yes! jeeze.. i can't believe this got into such a heated discussion.. It's not that big of a deal to breastfeed in public, even before i had my daughter.. it's a natural thing. bathrooms are gross, why do it in there, they have benches in most malls, sit and feed, and when you're feeding, it's not like people can actually see the nipple, the baby has that. it's like wearing a low cut dress, until you are done & covered up again.. and cut the mom some slack, she just had a beautiful baby & is meeting its needs... if people have a problem, then don't look!!

I think the funny part is that we all really agree here. The thing that the anti-feeding people are against is the people who are tacky and just leave the nips out there. They agree that breastfeeding is natural and normal and to be expected but what isnt is the slobs that just leave it all to hang out for everyone to see. If don't right it is just like a low cut dress, if done wrong it's more like mardi gras and we all agree that it's tacky. Yes?

[mailahn97]

Just because I say its wrong to whip out your breast in public to feed a baby doesn't mean I think its okay the way women dress or lack of dress and Mardi Gras flashing. I don't agree with that either. I just don't find breastfeeding in public to be a huge issue in this day and age and not exactly needed. Yes, I know I will get my ass jumped onto for that but when I have children, if I decide that I want them to "breastfeed" that will probably never happen in that way, I will pump it and give it to them in a bottle. Every child can use a bottle.

And for the record, I only flash my breasts at my husband in my own home and don't have sex in public either

Let me tell you this one. Yes every child can use a bottle but they go through phases. At three months old my daughter all of a sudden stopped and would not eat from a bottle. I went out and bought every nipple I could find and she wouldn't. She was not a breastfed child. My SIL mind you is a NICU nurse and could not get her to take any. We took her to the hospital where they ended up giving her IV's til she finally came around a week later. So not all the time will a child take a bottle. My nephew would NEVER take a bottle. He was breastfed completely and no matter how much my SIL tried he would not. So until you know what you are talking about completely don't pass judgement about it.

Ok so if a child gets hungry off schedule should you tell the child starve or wait til we get home. You try to deal with a crying child that you can't calm down because they are hungry.

Yes I feel you shouldn't expose it until exactly when you are feeding and put away as soon as you are done. Some are talking about how some bring it out way early and leave it out even after the child is done.

[angelkisses98]

I think the issue here is more of Letting your complete bare breast hang on when the baby is NOT nursing. As a mother, this does not bother me, but I can see how it might bother other people. I Would give my right arm to be able to nurse my daughter, but due to her issues, it's not going to happen. And, honestly it breaks my heart. When I am out, and I see mothers nursing their children it kills me inside. People take that gift they are given for granted, and it really upsets me to hear comments like, I dont need to see it, or pump into a bottle. I have been pumping straight for 4.5 months to make sure my daughter gets my milk because it's best for her. Do you know what a pain in the ass it is to pump every 3 hours for 30 minutes at a time? I barely have any time to do anything else, and my daughter is not even here, she is in the hospital. I could not imagine pumping before we go out so not to bother anyone who does not want to see my breast. Further more, yes, even if you do pump into a bottle, babies get hungry again, or what is in the bottle may not have been enough to satisfy. For those of you who do not have children, and feel so strongly about this topic, just wait until you have your own child. You will soon learn, that you are no longer in charge. That beautiful little baby is, and if the baby is hungry, the baby is hungry. I surely hope that you don't plan on letting your baby scream in hunger because you feel it's not appropriate to nurse your child in public.

[mailahn97]

Of all of my years spent around babies in my family and now friends, I have never encountered a child that would not drink from a bottle and/or refused to do so.

Also, yes babies get hungry and don't go by schedules but being a parent is about being prepared for this so no matter what you should know and be ready for when your child is hungry so that's not a really solid excuse to me about why you can't pump the milk and give it to them. Sorry. Be prepared and expect the unexpected.

Well hate to break it to you it does happen. Try having that heartache. I went through it. Oh so in your 25 years you are so wise...sorry. I am not trying to be attacking but you sound like you are doubting what I had to go through. My child would not take the bottle even though she was hungry. The doctor explained that babies can go through this and it can be common just most people switch nipple types and then the baby is fine. My daughter was very stubborn

Are you a parent...from what I see it doesn't sound it.

Ok so being prepared yes you can be prepared, but again if a baby is used to being breastfed a lot of times they will not take the bottle. They go through a sense of what they call nipple confusion. I had a friend of mine go through this with her infant child when she would send her to the sitter. The baby didn't want to take the bottle because it was not the mothers breast. Yes it is a solid reason. Sometimes you run out for a quick errand and get held up somewhere.

When you become a parent and know what it is like to be at the beck and call of an infant and have to adjust at a whim to them. Then come back and comment once you have actual experience 24/7 365 days a year. It is one thing to be around a baby. It is another to be a parent of one.

[ladylove]

I think the issue here is more of Letting your complete bare breast hang on when the baby is NOT nursing. As a mother, this does not bother me, but I can see how it might bother other people. I Would give my right arm to be able to nurse my daughter, but due to her issues, it's not going to happen. And, honestly it breaks my heart. When I am out, and I see mothers nursing their children it kills me inside. People take that gift they are given for granted, and it really upsets me to hear comments like, I dont need to see it, or pump into a bottle. I have been pumping straight for 4.5 months to make sure my daughter gets my milk because it's best for her. Do you know what a pain in the ass it is to pump every 3 hours for 30 minutes at a time? I barely have any time to do anything else, and my daughter is not even here, she is in the hospital. I could not imagine pumping before we go out so not to bother anyone who does not want to see my breast. Further more, yes, even if you do pump into a bottle, babies get hungry again, or what is in the bottle may not have been enough to satisfy. For those of you who do not have children, and feel so strongly about this topic, just wait until you have your own child. You will soon learn, that you are no longer in charge. That beautiful little baby is, and if the baby is hungry, the baby is hungry. I surely hope that you don't plan on letting your baby scream in hunger because you feel it's not appropriate to nurse your child in public.

I feel for you and understand exactly. It would have broken my heart not to have been able to nurse my own baby. I did, however, pump excess and donate it to the hospitals for other babies not fortunate enough to have a healthy mother to nurse them. I never had to publicly breast feed any of my babies, never denied a hungry baby, nor did I sit in a disgusting bathroom to do so. I always figured out a way to have privacy and take care of my child. It was that important to me. Situations can/did arise, I just found solutions, sometimes creative, that worked in my favor. For those of us who have been able to nurse our own babies, I think you would agree there it is one of the most endearing moment in life!

The issue about babies taking bottles or not needs to be dropped! It's not the issue and it's to controversial. I and others can give many examples, either way, some are going to believe what they choose to. Fine, that's all of our prerogative. If we all thought the same thing life would be boring, so lets just agree to drop that part of the discussion. Thanks!

[ilovebabyjada]

omg.. i think everyone just needs to SHUT UP! about this... we have all agreed, it's healthy and natural, and sometimes baby's refuse the bottle, so what needs to be done, gets done!!

I was on the other hand, my daughter refused my nipple! they even gave me plastic things to go over my nipple to try to help, and it wouldn't work. i tried to pump. i would pump all day long (literally) and get about an ounce... it hurt that i couldn't fulfill this need for my daughter! but seriously people STOP FIGHTING! WE ARE ADULTS!!

I'M ONLY 20 & I CAN SEE THAT THIS IS WAY OUT OF HAND!!

DROP IT!

[mailahn97]

Wait a minute arguing the ideas of a breast being exposed or not exposed is seeming to be less controversial than bottle or no bottle. Actually it is part of the issue as that was one of the solutions some had given to not breastfeeding in public. Some were trying to give the reasons why that solution would not work. Infants as you know LL are not cookie cutter. Their schedule and needs don't just change daily but hourly.

LL you were fortunate enough not to have to feed in public, but realistically compared to years ago...lives are much more busy. That I think has been a contributing factor to this change as well.

[ilovebabyjada]

lets just solve this from a man's point of view..

BRING ON THE BOOBIES!