Desensitised By Toy>?

[iso8]

hi everyone,

well self explanitory in a way but i think my clit is pretty much desensitised, the first toy i bought was a clit one and i never compared it to others but i realise now it was a pretty strong vibration, i now wish id never bought it as i can no longer be stimulated by anything else! including my boyfriend which i find as annoying as he does, ive stopped using it infact stopped using anything full stop to try and regain some sensitivity, can anyone reccomend anything to speed things along, ive seen a few pills but i dont trust some of the reviews, any ideas for help?

[nosleepnmesa]

Hello iso8, Well I honestly have never heard of a toy desensitizing someones clitoral area. I have very strong clitoral stimulators and I have yet been desensitized by it. I know there are a few sexual enhancers for the clitoral area, there is a clitoral stimulating cream that brings the blood flow to that area, which causes the engorgement of the clitoris. Mikayla has written a wonderful review on it.

A few question though, when your clitoral area is stimulated you can't feel anything at all? As far as a toy causing that I have never experianced it, and like I said I have some really powerful clitoral stimulators.

http://shop.tootimid.com/index.asp?PageAct...ROD&ProdID=4754

[Mikayla1]

Trust me, it is not the toy which has "desensitized you" if it was possible for that to happen - I would have lost sensation a LONG time ago! I have A LOT of toys, and the clitoral ones (especially bullets) are my favorites! I have not ever lost sensation in my clit!

Now, it is true that if you use sex toys quite a bit that the normal "tongue" or "finger" pressure may seem "slower" paced than a toy - cause, obviously, it is. HOWEVER, what you have when your lover is licking at your pussy or fingering you is HUMAN CONTACT and intimacy - and this is normally much more than enough to make up for the slower speed of their natural vibrators!

Perhaps you have other issues - I hate to play novice psychologist, but there are some women who start to have a stigma about their toys - they feel bad that they cum so quickly with the toy, and hence can't enjoy time with their lovers. Or, their men pressure them into feeling bad about the toys. Even another possibility is medicinal issues that you may be having - these can slow libido to a slow crawl.

I would look into other reasons, perhaps try the Viva cream, it is WONDERUL! Also, just enjoy sex with your man, enjoy the feelings, sensations, and if you want to incorporate a toy into sex, do it. I mean, having sex toys was once for couples who had sexual issues anyway - so why not use them for that purpose while you figure things out. My best advice: relax and have fun!

Let me know if you need more advice or have questions beyond this!

Mikayla

[iso8]

Thanks for all the advice its great to find somewhere friendly to ask these things! I do enjoy sex and being close to my boyfriend and he doesnt pressure me or make me cumming an issue, but I do feel guilty myself that I dont orgasm and I know you shouldnt think about it because it makes you worry more and makes orgasm more difficult but i find myself thinking about not thinking about it! I think as well i get frustrated because I want to enjoy it as much as he does, I know a lot of women dont orgasm during sex but not to orgasm during sex or foreplay leaves me with nothing! I do wonder sometimes if its something to do with my libido Im not sure how high it should be but I was just looking for explanations, maybe I should try the cream? can you reccomend any good sexual positions Mikayla? at the moment we're mainly missionary and it doesnt do anything for me.

Thanks again

Iso

[ambrelyn]

I have noticed that when I switch from a bullet or vibrator on my clit to manual, that I'm not quite as sensitive. I think it's all that vibration. But if I start out using my fingers, or my fiancee using his fingers/tongue, I don't have that problem. Is that the case with you, or do you always feel desensitized?

[iso8]

I have noticed that when I switch from a bullet or vibrator on my clit to manual, that I'm not quite as sensitive. I think it's all that vibration. But if I start out using my fingers, or my fiancee using his fingers/tongue, I don't have that problem. Is that the case with you, or do you always feel desensitized?

To be honest I always feel a bit desensitized it almost seems like its not worth my while for him to even try

[Mikayla1]

As it so happens, I just wrote an article on sex positions, perhaps you should check it out:

http://tootimid.com/sex_education/sex_marr...tions_guide.htm

As for your desensitization issue, I would say that your main issue is probably thinking about it too much. Or, you might just be going through a hormonal shift. I would try to relax, get reaquainted with your body in a way that involves slow caresses and kisses. Let your lover just touch you all over, tease you, take him time with you - then maybe you will get in touch with the feelings again.

NEVER say that it is not worth the effort - sex and love are ALWAYS worth the effort. Oral sex is something to be enjoyed by both of you - let your hubby do it, enjoy it, don't concentrate so hard on it. Try Altoids to bring sensation, or Sex Tarts, or oral sex gels. Just spice it up - get hornier before you start foreplay. All of this will help to engorge your clitoris.

Or, you can even try a clitoral pump! I heard they are wonderful! You may want to invest in one of those!

Just don't give up and don't stress, all women have issues at one point or another!

Good luck!

Mikayla

[iso8]

I read your positions article and will give them a go I spoke to him and he said we'd have to spend the weekend experimenting with them so I guess thats the way forward, thanks for all your help it really has helped me, i feel like i can keep trying now!