Need Some Help From The Women

[dressagegirl]

So, a lot of people think that I am nuts when I tell them that I am a virgin and I'm 36. I grew up going to church until I was 31, and when I dated, you just didn't have sex before you were married. I have since left the church, but really haven't found anyone that I want to be intimate with because I haven't met a lot of guys my age that are single. Anyways, I have pleasured myself frequently since I was about 15 or so, so I know what I like as far as that is concerned, but I just bought my first toy on this site and am having issues with it. My friends said to get glass because they are the best for hygiene, temperature play, and also better for the environment, so I bought one and got the other free. They arrived in the mail today along with some lube, so I wanted to try them out right away. When I tried to use them, I couldn't get them inserted very far at all. I can insert two fingers in without any discomfort, but even the narrowest end wouldn't go in very far. I don't want to really hurt myself. Any advice?

[blewits]

Firstly, no one here will think you are "nuts". So lets get that outta the way and welcome to the boards. Kudos for your bravery in asking your question. I'll try to start with an answer but there are some folks on here that can help you way more than I can, and they will.

I would not get to hung up on what material the products are made of. In the end, it won't matter. It will be what suits you best. Sometimes, if the product is not stiff enough, you will have a hell of a time getting in yourself. Maybe it was just too flexible.

Are you using lube? Are you using ALOT of lube? If not, you need to. I know you said it came with lube but did you really grease it up? You should if you didn't and also put some around the anus.

Without knowing what toys you bought specifically, it's hard to know exactly what's going on.

Do you mind sharing what specific products you got? You can link them right up in your response so we can see them and help you out a bit better.

We'll do our best.

[dressagegirl]

The first one was:

http://www.tootimid.com/the-blue-swirl.html

Can't find the second one, but it was free last week. It's the Taffy Tickler Silicone Smoothie.

The lube is http://www.tootimid.com/astroglide-gel-water-based-lubricant.html and I used quite a bit.

The first toy i couldn't use at all, and the second, I could only get the smallest part inserted.

[ladylove]

Hi Dressagegirl, and welcome. You are in no way crazy and glad you asked.

After reading your post and looking at what you purchased it's my opinion you may just need to get a slim beginner toy. You have only inserted a finger or two and you nerves may be playing a role in why you're experiencing the resistance. If you have any questions about beginner toys I'll be happy to help you.

[me4now]

Hi Dressagegirl!! believe me when I say you are not the only virgin out here. I have many friends still Virgins...Hats off to you:) LADYLUV & Horneywife has given you great advice, because I have not tried those toys you mention. Good Luck:) Keep us updated

[Mikayla1]

I am so glad that you are here, experimenting with your pleasure!! I mirror the sentiments of the other smart ladies here - you may need a smaller toy. However, this is what I think: You are a virgin, and this means that your hymen has not completely torn. yes, you can use fingers (because as you may or may not know that a woman's hymen is not always "complete" - meaning, often you can insert a finger or a tampon and still be "a virgin") So, because you have not inserted larger items, your discomfort is most likely because you still have a bit of hymen there.

Have you been to the gynecologist and has he or she been able to examine you? If not, you should go, even without having sex it is important to have checkups, and if you have gone, has it been comfortable for you.

The other possibility is that you may be just tensing up and your vaginal muscles are tightening when you feel the resistance of the item. You may want to try to go a lot slower, not pushing too hard, and making sure that your arousal level is high, this will help.

One final note on the material of toys: glass is VERY hygenic and one of my favorites. However, glass is not flexible, and often will make it harder for a first time user to adjust to the unforgiving nature of the material. You may want to try rubber or silicone (silicone being more expensive but more hygenic). I would suggest getting something smaller, in silicone. Just make sure you ALWAYS use hot, soapy water before and after play.

Good luck!

[LoveBitten]

...My dear, I am younger than you, but I was raised with exactly the same mind-set. I'll be honest, I've never had vaginal sex either, so... kinda hurt when I tested out toys there, too. First? Seriously. Make sure you're aroused. Use a vibrator on or around your clitoris first, or somewhere else on your body where it would feel good. If you're not... in the proper mindset, and relaxed, and "excited" enough? Yeah. Even when you have experience using toys there, it -still- doesn't feel so great if you're not aroused.

Second, small is good to start with, always. There are thinner toys out there to test, and different textures, too. Sadly, this may come down to trial and error for you because no one, not even you--yet--knows what's best for you. (This is when those free toy deals are awesome, more stuff to try at a lower price.) I am not all that fond of glass, myself, and just because a close friend who is familiar with it tells you she likes it... does -not- mean you will, so don't cling to that advice. Sure, it's worth trying, but it may feel a bit too hard to you.

It needs to be firm enough to go in, sure, but I find hard plastic / glass unappealing personally. Something with a softer skin around a firm shaft, maybe? Also, yes, lube. Lube is a beginner's very best friend. (Or, well, co-best. A good bullet is on par.) SO, while you probably -did- do a fine job with it, just don't -forget- it. It's regrettable. I won't... be graphic, but... the word "bloody" comes to mind over the incident where I made that mistake.

I am not an expert, though, this is just from one beginner to another. I've tested a lot of things, but I'm still exploring to find out what works for me, and I have plenty of issues of my own... I wish you the best of luck.

[ladylove]

How's it going dressagegirl?

[dressagegirl]

How's it going dressagegirl?

Doing better, thanks for all the advice. Everyone has been very helpful. I decided to stick with the glass toys that I have and just be patient and try things out. I must say that I have been more successful since I've been patient with myself. I've also decided to take some of your advice and get a bullet or something since they are having some free ones offered on the site. Thank you ladies for your help.

[ladylove]

Doing better, thanks for all the advice. Everyone has been very helpful. I decided to stick with the glass toys that I have and just be patient and try things out. I must say that I have been more successful since I've been patient with myself. I've also decided to take some of your advice and get a bullet or something since they are having some free ones offered on the site. Thank you ladies for your help.

Good for you, glad you've had some success. Enjoy the journey!