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Painful Penetration


Piro

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Hello!

I'm new to the forums but have been a customer at TooTimid for a while. I have this question:

I masturbate regularly (usually clitoral) but I have a small issue of getting anything inside of me if it's not tapered to a point. I discovered this when I first bought a toy with 1.5in diameter that didn't taper off. Once it's in, it's fine, even if it gets larger further up. It's just the initial entry that hurts. My concern is the issue will continue when I encounter actual penises in the future, which (I believe) generally don't taper to a point. 

Background info: 

My gyno reassured me that there's nothing wrong, though it still hurts. It's not just because I'm a virgin; as mentioned, I've used bigger toys that were tapered. Finally, I always make to be extremely relaxed, lubed, and aroused. 

Advice?

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You have nothing to fear. Penises are rounded, and are pretty pliable, even when erect (in other words, they squish a little bit), so they're not as hard as say, a blunt toy.

If your GYNO says they're nothing wrong, and  you've never had penetrative intercourse, then, chances are, there's nothing wrong. Your body needs to get use to something going inside it.

For now, stick with tapered toys if that's what is more comfortable for you. I'd also recommend toys that have some "give" to them, like jelly, silicone, rubber, or ones like cyberskin, which feels more like real skin. Those will be more pliable and comfortable for you.

I'd be interested in knowing what you've used that isn't tapered. Most dildos are tapered to some degree, and, getting a more realistic one, even the heads are almost arrow shaped, which aids in insertion.

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Per what Tyger said Piro.

I'm an older man. My preferred sex has a woman pegging me with my favorite dildo. I have enjoyed anal as a bottom around 30  years. Around 8 years ago if memory serves I bought a cyberskin dildo near exzactly the same measurements as my Mister Big.  Felt as nice as a real live warm penis of which there's only been one inside me attached to a Leatherman. Cyber Boy being made from silicone I reckon was not quite as stiff as my rubber Mister Big so he is kinda floppy like Tyger said. But sliding back and forth inside me was perty doggone delicious.:kiss:

If you do decide to get a Realskin or Cyberskin or whatever the latest catchy name for it is read up on silicone toys. You must be careful with the lubes you use with silicone toys. Don't throw your silicone dildo on the bed where the sun might beat down on it all day as the suns heat may damage it. Don't leave it laying on a jar lid made of metal else it be a new shape when you get home and need to take the edge off with your silicone Willy.

 

Well I've got to get over to my **What's Fer Supper?** thread. I just finished making a mess :Pa vittles and now I've got a feedbag on.

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11 hours ago, Tyger said:

You have nothing to fear. Penises are rounded, and are pretty pliable, even when erect (in other words, they squish a little bit), so they're not as hard as say, a blunt toy.

If your GYNO says they're nothing wrong, and  you've never had penetrative intercourse, then, chances are, there's nothing wrong. Your body needs to get use to something going inside it.

For now, stick with tapered toys if that's what is more comfortable for you. I'd also recommend toys that have some "give" to them, like jelly, silicone, rubber, or ones like cyberskin, which feels more like real skin. Those will be more pliable and comfortable for you.

I'd be interested in knowing what you've used that isn't tapered. Most dildos are tapered to some degree, and, getting a more realistic one, even the heads are almost arrow shaped, which aids in insertion.

For perspective, here is the link to the first toy I bought. This one I have no problem with: 

https://www.tootimid.com/aprils-curved-seduction-dual-stimulator-7247.html

And this is my newer one. It's no bigger than the average penis and is elastomer, I believe. This one hurts going in, regardless of how aroused/relaxed I am:

http://www.cirillas.com/vibrators/rabbit-vibrators/flutter-rabbit-vibrator/

I hope that helps!

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Guest Mrs.BettyCrocker

Hi Piro!

I'm sorry to head you're experiencing pain! It's not fun and anticipating pain is certainly not going to help you get you in the mood! I'm glad to hear you've got a good gyno who you feel comfortable with, since that's the first part of the equation. You mentioned that you're always "extremely relaxed, lubed & aroused," do you mean that you're also using lube? Or just getting yourself worked up to that point? 

If you're not using a lube, I'd like to suggest the Erosense Sync Hybrid Formula, it is the most natural feeling lube I've ever used and is made of certified organic ingredients. Since its going on such a sensitive area its really important to have a high-quality lube. 

I agree 100% with Tyger that a toy with more "give" might be helpful. The two you linked to are flexible elastomer/jelly, but still have a rigidity to the material. I'd recommend something made of silicone, which is non-porous, hypoallergenic, but most imporatntly has a velvety smooth texture that will slide right into place with some lube. 

The First Time Rabbit is a silicone toy with a tapered, angled head and clit stimulator. The widest point is 1.25" and it has ten functions that are really fantastic! This might be a good option since it does have that slight taper at the tip, but also swells at a few points along the shaft, and offers the bunny for clitoral vibrations. 

The 10-Function Silicone Vibrator is penis shaped, but also made of silicone, and also has ten functions. This one has a less-tapered tip, though the natural shape of a penis is slightly tapered. It's definitely got more of a realistic shape, but is not very thick (1.15" in width) and may be a great interim vibe for you. 

The last one I've got to recommend right now is the Goddess Dual Vibe. This one comes HIGHLY recommended by some of the ladies in the office, and while the tip is tapered, it quickly swells out. It has very gently rotations and massaging beads inside. These may help to "stretch" you inner walls, making the actual insertion of larger toys less painful for you.  

I hope you're able to find some relief and that these suggestions were helpful! Please feel free to message me directly if you have any questions at all! 

- Ali 

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I looked at the one that you said hurts you. I did notice that the toy's bullet is in the head, which, even if that toy is jelly, won't have a lot of give to it at all. Also, jelly will "catch" on skin, such as your labia, if it's not wet enough, so, between the hardness of the bullet, and the lack of give with that toy, I think that that one may be a bit too hard for you at this point in time.

Never fear, having a toy that just doesn't work for you is normal. Not every toy does it for one person. It's a trail and error finding search, to find the perfect toy for you. Each person's likes are different, which is one reason why you see a huge variety of toys, shapes, sizes, colors and materials.

I'd say try another toy. If you're interested in a dual action, BettyCrocker made some great suggestions. If you don't like any of those, look thru the site, read the reviews. I always thing of a sex toy purchase as an investment into my personal pleasure, and that, my dear, deserves some research.

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Thanks BettyCrocker and Tyger!

The suggestions look really helpful. I'm definitely in the market for something more realistic, which should hopefully ease my fears for future relationships, so I appreciate the tips.

One final question I wanted to ask. I've read some places that doing kegels improves the elasticity long-term. Do you have any info on this or recommended kegel regimens that prove useful? While I always use lube with toys, the painful part feels more like the stretching of the vaginal opening, so I was curious if that would help at all.

Thanks again! You ladies are fantastic!

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Hello Piro! 

I feel your pain--literally--and my doctor has also told me that there is nothing wrong! I'm not a virgin, so I'm not sure if that has anything to do with this pain. Doing Kegel exercises will strengthen your pelvic muscles and improve elasticity  but this may not be the best solution to your problem. Usually people do those who have lost muscle control or strength. In your case (and mine) there is TOO much muscle tension for some reason. I suggest a smaller dildo or even a dilator kit.. even an anal trainer kit! Many people don't realize these can be used vaginally instead of anally! They will help you get used to the sensation of having something inside your vagina. It will also help train the muscles to stretch and it won't be as painful! 

Check out Renegade Anal Trainer Kit 

or  Jolie's Anal Kit

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Guest Mrs.BettyCrocker

Hi Piro! 

Like Deana said, doing kegel exercises may actually work against you in this particular instance. Using a dilator is a fantastic idea though, and the Renegade Anal Kit she suggested is a personal favorite!

The only other thing I can think of might be an inflatable toy. Colt's Expandable Butt Plug has a medical-style ball pump, and has a tapered tip. You can pump it up to whatever girth you want. There are other inflatable toys, but I think they are all too large before pumping to make sense for you. 

The best thing you can do is to experiment and find out the right combo for you! :)

- Ali 

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Thanks so much to the both of you! The suggestions look helpful. I'll definitely look into dilation. It's such a frustrating problem, so I'm hoping this will work! You guys are fantastic!

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The biggest thang to prevent painful penetration and I'm talking about anal penetration is your breathing. Take long deep breaths. On the exhale place dildo on anus and apply some pressure then hold it there. As you continue to exhale you will feel your partner relax. Just continue to apply pressure. Some nice pillow talk like your ass is so round and firm...or your ass is soooo small and niiiiiiiiiceeee or anything lovey dovey like that. That's what I do.:P

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I just got out of the shower. Still nekid as a J bird. Burning some nice incense. Mister Big's balls right under my dick. Heat is on right in front of me like a crackling fireplace. Life is grand.:P

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