my problem/question

[big39steve]

long story try and make it short.

im young still 46 still in fair shape but have been disabled few years now. im oxygen dependent and dont have the stamina to go for the ol marathon sex like when i was 20 when i cum im done spent completely for at least 30 minutes with the o2 on high. recently told my g/f i want her fucked, and i think about it often. she told me that the fantasy is not that uncommon and thats as far as it gets to go.  i often imagine another man with her during sex. she is ok as long as i dont bring up my thoughts during sex, instant spoiler.

now, the problem, i cant go for long and she isnt able to climax at all because i cant go long. also she must be on top. fun for me but she wants and needs to be pounded.so do i keep on the bring in a bull thing? let it go? i really dont want to be a cuck, ill admit im not huge nor am i dominant but im no sissy either. i need for her to cum and frankly so does she. toys are a last resort for her and just doesnt care much for them. possible ideas thought of for alternerative  clit sensitizer creme or possibly trying to get her to try to squirt (she is very unexperienced sexually) trying new things always been hard to do. would also be open to role play of some sort but no idea what she would go for?

sorry for the length but any help or new ideas would be good ty

[Guest Mrs.BettyCrocker]

Hi big39steve!

Thanks for writing! There are a couple of things that might be useful to you so I'm going to break them into sections so we can go over them! 

So you said she's not really into toys, but I think the first thing that springs to mind is clit stimulation. Most women NEED clitoral stimulation to have an orgasms, any orgasms, so this could be a really fun way to warm up! I think if you spend the time to get her halfway there before you start having sex you could actually finish together! Never underestimate the power of foreplay! You could use a powerful vibe, like my favorite Lust Wand, to get her wet and ready for more, then add in a hands-free clit vibe to keep her stimulated during sex. The vibrations on her clit may be enough to give her the orgasm you're both hoping for! 

We offer a lot of great options for Hands-Free Toys and some of our top rated/reviewed include the Wireless Venus Butterfly, The Ladybug Tickler, or the Fix Station Wearable Couples Vibe. These hands-free toys generally have elastic straps that hold them in place while you enjoy each other! You could also use a bullet vibe if you have the dexterity to hold it in place while your mid-coitus! 

The next thing that came to mind was a Suction-Cup Dildo. I suggest a suction cup toy because you may be able to kill multiple birds with one phallic-shaped stone. You really want to SEE her having sex, but she seems very uncomfortable with the idea of another partner, so I wouldn't push it. This could be a great compromise, and you could use it to either get her warmed up while you watch and help out, or for immediately after so she can achieve an orgasm while you recover. 

I find the Maximus Dildo is a really realistic and flexible dildo with a great veining texture that should feel great internally for her. The Hustler "European Real Man" Dildo is a best seller and has a firmer "dual-density" core. Finally, the RealSkin All American Vibrating Dildo is one in a line of "All American" Dildos, and this particular one has a hand-held controller which powers the three increasing vibration speeds. 

You mentioned Clitoral Creams, which are great, but really need to be used in conjunction with some other kind of clitoral stimulation. The Wanna Be Explosive Clitoral Arousal Creme is a great option, its really gentle on sensitive skin and I can tell you that the Cupcake flavor is DELICIOUS! We also carry Viva Cream for Women, which has almost a dozen 5 star reviews and comes in a tasteless, non-sticky gel. You can apply these to her clit and then get her going with vibrations! 

Now on the flip side of clitoral creams are Prolonging Gels for Men. These help to increase your sexual stamina so you can go for longer. The Kama Sutra Prolonging & Desensitizing Gel is a best seller on TooTimid, and the reviews are glowing. Kama Sutra also makes a kit, the Kama Sutra As One Couples Kit, which has their prolonging gel and a warming, intensifying gel for her.

Cockrings will also help to prolong your erection by keeping the blood from rushing away from your penis. Many of the cockrings include a clitoral stimulator, which again will help her achieve an orgasms easier. The Double Trouble Enhancer has a very powerful bullet and two little nubs that stick out to rub her clit. The Cuddly Cub Cockring is a softer ring, with a removable seven function bullet that is incredible! Just be sure before using one of these that its safe for you, since it is basically a tourniquet around your cock, and you mentioned your on O2. 

Finally, (and I'm sorry if this was WAY more information than you were looking for but I wanted to be sure I covered all of the bases), you may want to take a look at Hollow Strap Ons. These are most commonly recommended for men with ED, but I think where it would translate over for your situation is that you get all the intimacy of penetrative sex. This could be a good way to start things off, that way you're again able to get her to the point where she's ready to cum, then take off the hollow toy and enjoy each other til you finish.  The Wonderful Wabbit Hollow Strapon is a Rabbit Style Vibrator that you would place your soft or semi-erect penis into. Then she could ride you til her hearts content, enjoying powerful vibrations and a firm shaft for as long as she needs to get off. The Deluxe 6" Hollow Strap On comes in Vibrating or Non-Vibrating styles, and is slight smaller than the Wabbit or the next option. The Armour Knight Soft Hollow Strap-On is brand new on TooTimid, and is pretty innovative in design. It's crafted from one solid piece of TPR so you get more control, and the softer molded shaft is comfortable for the wearer and the person enjoy the penetration. This is a thicker toy, coming in at around 2" in girth, so its definitely a larger option, but so well made that I had to include it for you. 

Well, I really hope that was helpful and that you can find some useful nuggets of information in there! Feel free to message me directly if you have any other questions! 

- Ali from TooTimid

[Tyger]

Mrs.BettyCrocker gave some great toy suggestion to you!! I'd double the recommendation for the hollow strap on idea. Be sure to check out the harnesses themselves for sizing, because some harnesses are just elastic, others are adjustable. I'd recommend the adjustable ones since you are on oxygen, and you don't want to cut of circulation anywhere.

I'm assuming you've spoken with your doctor. And, if you have, it wouldn't surprise me that he can't give you anything due to your ongoing health issues.

Yes, your GF is absolutely correct, the fantasy of seeing your SO with another, or a 3-some, are common. However, many people are not able to participate in such a fantasy. Women are emotional creatures who usually associate sex with intimacy and love. So, her not wanting to do so, and yes, being turned off by that idea is not surprising. Even though you may have the best intentions, her pleasure, but, to her, you're testing her fidelity, and insulting her feelings for you.

I'd try the toys.

And, instead of suggesting your voyeuristic fantasy (again, which is totally normal), why not suggest a masturbation night. She starts playing with herself for a while, with or without toys, maybe getting off, or just at the edge of getting off, and that's when she climbs on top of you and climaxes on you. Watching her masturbate will be a big turn on, and, once she warms up to the idea, she will get hotter with you getting excited. You could even direct some sessions too. Now, this may not be a thing she's overly gung-ho for in the beginning. Depends on how comfortable she is with her body and sexuality. This is where I also second MBC's suggestion on clit stimulation creams/gels. The more she's excited, the more she'll be willing to do.

So, it may take a few, or several times, to warm up to this. But, if she's willing, I can promise that it will be VERY exciting!!! 

[big39steve]

thank you both for the suggestions. we have spoken and she now understands my reasoning better. she also claims to need clit and penetration, and she even told me what kind of porn she wants to see. aparently she likes porn where the man fills her with cum. sorry to be so graphic. seems to be a bit harder to find that. but i will be getting her clit stim creme and a vibrating cock ring for me. i think that will help some, she didnt take the bull off the table but does want to try other things before we jump off a cliff. the hollow dildo thing thats still a bit odd to me so we gotta pass on that. im also not small afraid it would be3 too tight for me and not much diff between that and reg dildo. but thanks for the help cant hurt to try new things.

[Guest Mrs.BettyCrocker]

Hey big39steve,

I'm so glad you talked about it and found out a little bit more about what makes your partner tick! (And don't worry about being graphic, this is my job, I've heard it all!)

We do have two style of ejaculating dildos you may find interesting, since you're girlfriend shared her favorite ideas for porn! The Squirting Realistic Dildo and Squirting 6" Cock are two different color options of a very similar product put out by Doc Johnson, while the Squirting King Cock with Balls  is manufactured by Pipedream and comes in three different sizes/colors. Both products come with "Cum" and "ejaculate" on command! The Squirting Realistic Dildo and Squirting 6" Cock have a longer tube connecting the pump and the toy, so you could make it cum for her! 

I hope the toys you've ordered work wonders for you and that you feel free to ask any questions you may have now or in the future! 

Thanks again for choosing TooTimid!

- Ali from TooTimid

[prodrag33]

bigsteve did you get a bull?