Another ? About Emails

[hotnhrny]

Ok I have read and replied to the other topic on Pms and emails here.......and that inturn had me thinking for those of you who said you get or have had a lot or even a few emails/Pms from some here looking for sex......did you or do you enjoy the attn? I mean we all like attn right.....and im not saying that you have to act on it or even consider what is being asked in those emails but really dont you sit back for a second and think wow i must be good interesting whatever......especially if you have just written a reply or a topic or sex toy review and thats what got you that attn. in the first place.

Has the emails ever caused a problem for you and your SO if he/she knows that you are on here to begin with???

Just a few things I thought about after reading the other topic about emails.....It is a shame that to be open and honest about sex has to lead to some thinking its a invite so lets not let some ruin it for all the others. I guess if you set up for emiails and pms you have to take the good with the bad anc expect such from some.

LOL i guess i wont be getting to many HONEST replies on this because if you say you like the attn....even just a bit it will lead to a full mail box im sure.......but please dont let that stop anyone from being true and honest here.

thanks Hotnhrny

[chickenmom]

I came to this forum looking for information, not propositions. If that's what someone wants, they need to go somewhere else.

When I came looking for information, I received several questionable e-mails. I did respond stating that I wasn't interested, but needing advice. Did I like the attention? No. The advice. Yes. I did show my hubby the PM's I received, and he understood. I had never had an orgasm, so he knew I needed guidance. This site makes him uncomfortable, but he definitely agrees that our sex life is infinitely better.

[nosleepnmesa]

Well I have only had 1 personal message that was asking, did I enjoy the attention no. I am not one who is a attention seeking person, heck I get way to much attention here at home between my SO and my 5 children. My SO has never been the jealous type and in fact he gets on this form and will read and carry on, it was him that actually recieved this PM, I got it but he and I were reading the forum at the time and it came threw. He laughed and said I should tell the person to quite daydreaming I said no I will just write back I am not interested and happily married.

I know alot of people like attention I mean I like attention of course but attention like that is a HUGE turn-off for me and I honestly do not enjoy it.

[Mikayla1]

I think we need to clarify the type of "attention" we are talking about here. For me, when I get the emails taht say:

"I think you are hot, can I have a picture of that pussy" or "I would pay you for just a night of sex, my wife is so lame."

I think 2 things. First, I think, "Wow. What is so special about me that someone wants to pay me for sex?" It is an honest reaction. I feel I am no different than anyone else, except I talk about sex more. Second, I think, "how sad that this person has to proposition someone that they do not know in this manner."

Is it flattering? In an odd sort of way, I have to view it as flattering. Am I flattered? NO. Usually I am laughing as I send the standard, "sorry, I am happily married and the only one to see my pussy is my hubby. Go try to make your wife happier in bed so she can please you more." response.

I also get the emails where I have just written an article, and the person is commenting on my knowledge and expertise (so to speak) on the article. It starts out flattering, then it turns to a proposition. Then it looses its punch. If you want to say, "Thanks for writing a good article, it inspired me!" Great, say that. Don't end it with, "I wish I could fuck you!"

Now, I need to clarify. When people write in and say, "I wish my wife/girlfriend were more LIKE you." That does flatter me. Cause again, who am I to be compared to someone else. I am more confused as to why, but I would be lying if I didn't say that was flattering.

Then, there are those few emails where someone says, in the nicest manner, "if we were in another time and universe....." those are flattering. I show them to my hubby sometimes, he is flattered for me. The blanket propositions I do not show him, I don't need to, I can take care of myself.

So, do I like the attention? The positive attention is flattering. Do I need it to continue to write here. NO. Do I like the negative attention. NO. I find it distracting with all the other things I need and want to do here.

Is that a good answer?

Mikayla

[Valntyn]

I come here for information and knowing it's a comfortable setting makes it easier for me, personally, to be able to write more bluntly than I can talk about things (something I'm working on, though!).

If someone were to hit-on me, then sure, there would be a small part of me that would be flattered -- though they'd still get a big fat ol' NO response. If they continued after that, or if they were just gross from the get-go, that's when it bothers me. I think it's intent and approach that differentiates each proposal.. make sense?

It's kinda the same thing as in the real world -- if someone were to yell out a window as I'm walking by, "Hey baby, wanna fuck?" ... Heck no, but I'd get a giggle (from the "AS IF!!" perspective of it) and a little self-confidence boost out of it. However, if someone were to come up to me with a flower, a nice compliment and offer his/her number IF I were interested... The self-confidence boost would be a bigger one than the previous situation. They'd still get that no, but it'd be given politely. You know?

When I first started coming here, I was making my husband laugh his ass off with how many times I'd tell him it wasn't "that kind" of place. He knew, and I knew he knew, but I wanted to make REAL sure he understood I was only here for info and not for hooking up with anyone.

[me4now]

for me i didnt like the personal emails sent to me because they were not flattering and it didnt turn me on just as MIKAYLA said if its a compliment like if i wasn't married and you was'nt either and we met in a restarunt we got to know each other better type situation then YES! i can take that to flattering.

but if you are man or women asking me can you lick my pussy? can you cum in my mouth whats your address and all this other nonsence is un call for. my husband and i read the forum together and he loves that im comfortable to get information and advice about intimacy and things to highten our marriage.

the people here in tootimid are excellent there are things that i never heard or seen before HELL! even read has educated and then there was those few who hit a stop sign with me but IM STILL HERE

[hotnhrny]

I came to this forum looking for information, not propositions. If that's what someone wants, they need to go somewhere else.

When I came looking for information, I received several questionable e-mails. I did respond stating that I wasn't interested, but needing advice. Did I like the attention? No. The advice. Yes. I did show my hubby the PM's I received, and he understood. I had never had an orgasm, so he knew I needed guidance. This site makes him uncomfortable, but he definitely agrees that our sex life is infinitely better.

Glad to hear that this site and its advice has helped you.......You are so right its here for information and advice its not a dating service.........So keep posting and keep reading we are all happy you are here

Hrnychick

I agree this site is for information and advice to help us all learn and to help others. I really am glad that I found it......Glad it has helped you and i just think how many it maybe helping that dont post only come here and read.

[hotnhrny]

I think we need to clarify the type of "attention" we are talking about here. For me, when I get the emails taht say:

"I think you are hot, can I have a picture of that pussy" or "I would pay you for just a night of sex, my wife is so lame."

I think 2 things. First, I think, "Wow. What is so special about me that someone wants to pay me for sex?" It is an honest reaction. I feel I am no different than anyone else, except I talk about sex more. Second, I think, "how sad that this person has to proposition someone that they do not know in this manner."

Is it flattering? In an odd sort of way, I have to view it as flattering. Am I flattered? NO. Usually I am laughing as I send the standard, "sorry, I am happily married and the only one to see my pussy is my hubby. Go try to make your wife happier in bed so she can please you more." response.

I also get the emails where I have just written an article, and the person is commenting on my knowledge and expertise (so to speak) on the article. It starts out flattering, then it turns to a proposition. Then it looses its punch. If you want to say, "Thanks for writing a good article, it inspired me!" Great, say that. Don't end it with, "I wish I could fuck you!"

Now, I need to clarify. When people write in and say, "I wish my wife/girlfriend were more LIKE you." That does flatter me. Cause again, who am I to be compared to someone else. I am more confused as to why, but I would be lying if I didn't say that was flattering.

Then, there are those few emails where someone says, in the nicest manner, "if we were in another time and universe....." those are flattering. I show them to my hubby sometimes, he is flattered for me. The blanket propositions I do not show him, I don't need to, I can take care of myself.

So, do I like the attention? The positive attention is flattering. Do I need it to continue to write here. NO. Do I like the negative attention. NO. I find it distracting with all the other things I need and want to do here.

Is that a good answer?

Mikayla

Yes its a very clear cut answer and thanks.....I enjoy this site beside the fact that it offers very good advice but also for the fact that there is NO stupid topic or question. The topic I may start may not pertain to me but to all in general. It is a sex site but one simple topic can lead to so much more maybe more questions more advice and so on.........I agree with you that if some man is asking YOU for sex and says he is unhappy with wife whatever the reason he should focus on making things better with the one he is with rather then looking for that quick fix.....or easy answer....(NOT saying that I think you are easy) they should read and ask and search the board to repair whateve is the problem or find a cure to the cause and then they wont have to look elsewhere for happiness and sex. I have found that since most people arent open about sex they dont take to others that are.....guys think youre easy girls to for that matter and some even have been jealous. Its sad more people should be open and willing to try learn and enjoy.

HnH

[sexykitty]

I am not set up on here to send or recieve Pms or Emails but if I were and someone was to send some type of "offer" I would think that its flattering in a way that they found what I had to say interesting enough to Pm me but if it was a offer for sex I would think how many others have you used the same line on or sent emails to waiting to get one to just say yes. I would think its sad that they had to turn to a sex talk forum to find someone.....or find sex......there are sites for that......not this one.....also if there are problems which is leading them to lack of having sex with SO then why not search for help not avoid it. To many people like to give up and not try to work at things. I think if someone has something to say or ask me then they can do it on the board no need for me to have PMs and I guess Im lucky i dont if some are not using them for the way they are suppose to.

[Tyger]

I have been PMed and hit on, and I have to agree with ChickenMom, I didn't come here to be propositioned, but for information. Where it is flattering to still be considered desirable (but let's be honest~how desirable can I be to someone who's never even SEEN me?), I don't go online looking to be hit on. TYVM, but no thanks!!