chickenmom

I agree with everyone. Something is definitely not right. You have nothing holding you together, so find someone you are compatible with. When the right person comes along, you'll know. In the meantime, get out of this relationship.

It sounds trite, but wine and dine her. Flowers, candy, the chick flick movie. The whole she-bang. You plan it. Take her for walk around a fountain, beach or some place like that where you live. For most women, the effort that you put in means the most. Even if you cook her the dinner, that means you put in the time. When you see her, carry her bags, take off her coat, open the door, all those chivalrous things. She will probably be suspicious, but just keep reassuring her. Eventually, she will relax. Good luck!

whiskeywoman hit it right on the head. All of our young lives, we are told don't do this, because you'll be branded a slut. You want to be the one the boys marry, not the one they use, etc., etc., etc. It takes time even in a long term relationship to get over that tape in your head. Give her time. As much time as it takes. You'll be well rewarded in the end.

You really need to get into some counseling. If money is an issue, the local universities always have a sliding fee program. You need to be able to sort out your feelings; he needs to get to the root of why he did it; y'all need to get it straight. I can understand why leaving him wouldn't be an option, but y'all really need to get some help, and fast. The pain is hard to take. Deal with it one day at a time. Keep us posted.

If your going to have weapons, train everyone. We hunt down here. I am in the National Guard as well. We have rifles, pistols, the works. We have a gun cabinet that only my husband has the key. My children all have their own rifles. They have all been given gun lessons in safety, shooting and cleaning. They know the damage a weapon can do, as they have all been hunting. It is serious business to own weapons, and everyone should remember that. I'm sorry about your son. I can't imagine that kind of a loss. I hope that you have found peace over the years.

Happened to me a few times. Just sitting there and all of a sudden, here it comes. It's a strange feeling.

Mine would probably be when we had a black and white cat named Spaz. Obviously, the name says it all. While we were having sex, Spaz got behind my husband and started playing with my husband's balls. At first the hubby didn't realize what was happening. He just knew that he felt something different. When he turned around to see what was going on, he fell off the bed when he saw it was the cat. I laughed so hard, I cried. From that point on, the bedroom door remained closed. Spaz would always poked his paws under the door trying to get in, but never again did he enter our bedroom.

Kinkyguy: I can only hope that your wife comes to understand where you are. I would just keep trying and just be a little more aggressive in getting to see your needs. I was one of those wives for a while. It had a lot to do with how I felt I was being treated. Why would I want to sleep with someone I wasn't happy with at that moment? There were other issues, including the fact that I had never had an orgasm either. What was the point of sex for me if I wasn't enjoying it? It was a chore for me. Make sure he comes and be done. We went through some really rocky times. We've come out on the other side, but it took a lot of work and A LOT of time. I know I've written it before, but print some of these discussions on the forums and just give them to her. Let her see what we all see. It may or may not help, but at least you can say you're doing everything in your power. As far as the fake pussy, I understand your position. For you or your wife, it might be okay. It's just not for me. I have no problem with the idea of the masturbator sleeves or similar things. There are quite a few items that don't look like another women's vagina. I just can't help but feel that the FP or dolls are too close to the real deal. Good luck.

I did say it was a double standard. I recognize that. There are just some places I can't go. The husband has never once asked for something else and probably never will. Knowing that probably makes it easier to say that I couldn't go there. If the time came that he wanted one, I would certainly discuss it with him. The toys that I have purchased do not look or feel like the real thing. To me, a toy should be a toy, not a substitute. I don't understand why everyone gets so bent out of shape because someone might not be comfortable with everything sexually. Everyone is different. That's what makes the world go round. It's okay not to be in the same place as everyone else.

Not even close. I look at myself and only see the flaws. My husband always tells me I look great. Other people do as well. I don't feel that way though. Even when I was a size 2, I still saw the flaws. I know I don't look as bad as I feel, but it is what it is. It's just one of those things that I have to overcome.

Yes, we had a few drinks, but nothing over the top at that point. That point was definitely reached later on the evening. Jack in the Box was relieved of all of their tacos. What bothers me is that if he was willing to grab my boob, what else has he done behind his wife's back? If I had engaged him back, would he have pursued the matter? Probably. I am still friends with them, as well business partners. I will not trust him though. It did taint my image of him.

Call me selfish, but if my husband wanted one of these, I couldn't do it. It's almost like cheating to me. He would still be getting pleasure from something other than me. I know, I know. It's a double standard because I have my toys now. And yes, I use them without him. However, he knows and he gets a little jealous as well. He does understand, however, that he can't do what they can. I just don't think I could handle it if he were to need these things.

Glad you found the site. I am too. I'm 37 and had never had an orgams before find this forum. It is such a non-judgmental arena. Ask any question and you will get sincere and helpful advice. The administrators are wonderful about making sure that you are not harassed or hit on here. Welcome.

On several occasions my hubby's friends have. The most recent was last Christmas when we went out with a couple. While the hubby was dancing with his friend's spouse, his buddy and I were talking, laughing, etc. Next thing I know, he grabbed my boob. I was shocked. I asked him what the hell he was doing?! He looked at me mortified and begged me to please not tell my husband. He was afraid that my husband would kick his ass, and he's right. My husband is a big guy and can definitely put the hurt on someone. Especially, since the friend is no bigger than I am. This guy is a business partner and friend so it was especially shocking. I have never told my husband. If the situation ever arises again, I will and let the ass whipping commence.

Mine was the belly dancer. I have the authentic stuff. It's quite erotic.

Too true.

Don't go elsewhere!!! You'll cause irreparable damage to your relationship. Once you go down that path, it is likely that your marriage will end. As far as getting her to be more adventurous, it will be difficult but not impossible. Many years ago, my husband bought a plain jane vibrator for me. It did nothing for me. After that, he never tried buying another toy. Every now and then he would ask me what I like. I couldn't answer him because I didn't know. Sex became a chore for me because I wasn't getting satisfied. If you ask him, he'll say that he tried to have conversations; he tried toys, etc. etc. Not really. Men and women communicate very differently. I really wish my husband would have just went nuts at a toy store and "made" me try them. It would have saved me 16 years of dissatisfaction. What about setting up a date, and then having an assortment when y'all get home? I little alcohol, mood music, flowers, the works all laid out for her. Women are very insecure creatures and we need to be reassured about ourselves. There's always the non-direct approach about printing the forum and leaving it for her with a note for her to please read it. Let her know that it would make you happy for her just read it and think about it. As my husband always says: He's not a mind reader. Let her know what is going on in your mind. Keep us posted.

Wow. I can't begin to know how you feel. I can only hope that you find comfort somewhere. My prayers are with you.

Has she ever had an orgasm? Until I found this site, out of desperation, I had never had one. Sex was something that I had to do for my husband's sanity. I know how men get after they haven't had it in a while. It was routine and boring. I felt that as long as he came, it didn't matter how I felt. Well, I think I hit my prime and then started looking for answers. I found them here. What I'm getting at is that she may have never have had an orgasm and just doesn't know how to feel or what to do. I don't know how to get her to talk with you, since it seems as though you have tried many times over the years. What if you printed some articles or some of the posts here for her? Maybe put your son to bed and leave it on her pillow. Personally, I would somehow find the time to get alone. If you can't leave, let your son spend the night at a friend's house. Somehow, you have to get her to talk. Good luck and keep us posted.

I think I was 13 or 14. I was drunk, out doing things I shouldn't. I did a lot of really stupid things at that age. There was a lot going on in my life at that time. I regret it immensely. You can never take away the memories of what you do. On the upside, because of my "wild child" days, I am a much more conscientious parent. I have what I think is a pretty good relationship with my children. I also am very aware of what they are doing, who they are with, where they are, etc. I can't protect them from everything, but I can at least have an open dialogue with them. I can hopefully guide them into making good choices and not life changing ones like me that they'll always regret.

You are going to let people whom you have never met control what you do in life? Don't go. I get a lot of information from your posts. Heck, I bought a certain g spot toy based on your review. Knowing we all had similar issues has given a kind of bond/camraderie to quite a few of us. There will always be those that disagree with you or you with them. It's part of life. That's what makes us human. It's okay. Keep posting and let the naysayers be darned.

I can't even seem to get mine to suction on any part of my body. I'll keep trying, but I'm thinking that there might be something wrong with it.

Toys are awesome! I sooooo wish I had discovered them years ago. They've helped me achieve the big "O". Now that I am climaxing, my desire has increased tremendously. I have decided that a gift certificate to all people that I know who are getting married is in order.

I have been married 16 years. To this day, I really don't want to know about my hubby's other partners, lovers, etc. I don't think it's denial, but to me that kind of information taints the relationship that you currently have. I prefer the "don't ask, don't tell" policy.

Amen, Twotimid. While I love this site and all of the advice and information, sometimes things come across as judgmental. I have been told that I should love and worship giving blowjobs to the hubby. I do them, but it's not my favorite thing. No big deal to me or to my hubby. Apparently, though, to some on the forum that's almost tantamount to saying that I don't love my hubby enough. I say do what's comfortable for the both of you.