Guest TRISH Posted February 21, 2005 Report Share Posted February 21, 2005 I WAS IN AN RELATIONSHIP OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE FOR 12 YEARS SO HAVING SEX WAS NOT A PLEASURABLE PART OF MY LIFE. NOW I'M SEEING SOMEONE I REALLY LOVE AND I'M AFRAID WHEN WE HAVE SEX THAT I CAN'T PLEASE HIM BECAUSE A LOT OF THIS IS NEW TO ME LIKE GIVING HIM ORAL. I ENJOY IT BUT I'M NEVER SURE IF I'M DOING THE RIGHT THING. I WOULD LOVE TO SURPRISE HIM WITH A DIFFERANT POSITION OR SOMETHING NEW I'M JUST NOT SURE WHERE TO START. WHAT DO YOU SUGGEST ? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Jen Posted February 27, 2005 Members Report Share Posted February 27, 2005 First, I am glad to hear that you are in a more healthy relationship now--you are off to a good start.I am not an expert, but I do come to the table with a lot of personal experience. Have you told your current partner about your past? I know, for myself, that keeping things from my partner about my sexual past made relaxing and enjoying sex absolutely impossible. I always felt that I walked into the bedroom with baggage he'd never want to know--which left both of us very unsatisfied. He was patient and eventually I told him everything. No kidding, the weight of the world was lifted and I wound up having my first multiple orgasm. Now this might not be what you had in mind...and I apologize if it wasn't. It just seems that sometimes clearing the head was what was needed, not a new position.good LuckJen Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members SexyMuze Posted February 28, 2005 Members Report Share Posted February 28, 2005 I WAS IN AN RELATIONSHIP OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE FOR 12 YEARS SO HAVING SEX WAS NOT A PLEASURABLE PART OF MY LIFE. NOW I'M SEEING SOMEONE I REALLY LOVE AND I'M AFRAID WHEN WE HAVE SEX THAT I CAN'T PLEASE HIM BECAUSE A LOT OF THIS IS NEW TO ME LIKE GIVING HIM ORAL. I ENJOY IT BUT I'M NEVER SURE IF I'M DOING THE RIGHT THING. I WOULD LOVE TO SURPRISE HIM WITH A DIFFERANT POSITION OR SOMETHING NEW I'M JUST NOT SURE WHERE TO START. WHAT DO YOU SUGGEST ?<{POST_SNAPBACK}> Hi, Congratulations in believing in yourself enough and getting out from under all that!!!! You are a very strong women. If you can conquer all that you have already been through this will come to you when your ready. If you are really & truely ready for this, What I suggest you do is ask your partner what he likes. Share your anxiexty with him so that he can apperciate it even more when it does happen. Communication will help set you free.. I hope this helps! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members SHEABUTTER Posted August 29, 2005 Members Report Share Posted August 29, 2005 First I would like to say CONGRATS to you for believing and having the strength to get FREE! Like Jen said, you have to talk to him. Maybe even tell him a little or all about your past relationship. Trust me, your new man won't mind. I told my husband about my last relationship and why it failed. He was happy I told him. Then he knew what I liked and what I didn' t liked. Men don't really know what's going on unless you sit down and explain the pointers or basics to them. Let him know what and how you want it. For he might have some ideas already pondering in his head, but may feel just like you. He might not have the courage to say "Honey I want to this or that". Communication is always a vital ingredient in a relationship. Maybe you guys can go online and pick out games, dvd's, etc. Good Luck! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members jane323 Posted August 30, 2005 Members Report Share Posted August 30, 2005 I WAS IN AN RELATIONSHIP OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE FOR 12 YEARS SO HAVING SEX WAS NOT A PLEASURABLE PART OF MY LIFE. NOW I'M SEEING SOMEONE I REALLY LOVE AND I'M AFRAID WHEN WE HAVE SEX THAT I CAN'T PLEASE HIM BECAUSE A LOT OF THIS IS NEW TO ME LIKE GIVING HIM ORAL. I ENJOY IT BUT I'M NEVER SURE IF I'M DOING THE RIGHT THING. I WOULD LOVE TO SURPRISE HIM WITH A DIFFERANT POSITION OR SOMETHING NEW I'M JUST NOT SURE WHERE TO START. WHAT DO YOU SUGGEST ?<{POST_SNAPBACK}>Congratulations! How wonderful that you are now out from under that. Be gentle with yourself. It takes time to heal all those wounds. And be proud of yourself, too, for having the strength to set yourself free. As everyone has said, this is the time for good open communication. I agree with Jen, and the more you can tell your new guy about the past, the better it will be - find a good restaurant where you can have lots of privacy and do your talking there...he needs to know where you're coming from and why - once he understands this, I'm sure he'll meet you more than half way...so he can show you and tell you what he likes - and then find out what you think you might like as I'm sure he'll want to give you pleasures you've never experienced...Good luck, relax and enjoy! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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