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Adding Some Spice


needymarriedguy

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I have another question that is realated to this but I'd like to keep this simple.

As a first try....What one thing would you suggest to spice up your typical, boring married too long, type of sex ? I've tried oral and lots of affectionate forplay, that seems to be well received, but so far has been very one sided.

Thanks

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Hey, I know exactly where you are coming from, thats the same reason I came to this site. I am not full of as much wisdom on this topic as others will give you many more good tips. But one thing that worked wonders for me and my hubby was to change positons. read Mikalya article 20 position to try tonight on the education page...very good, and most are easy to do., and a LOT of fun.

As far as the oral goes, I cant begin to know why she wont, so ask her....if you have been married for any lenght of time I am sure you know how important communication is, but make sure you talk to her about it out side of the bedroom.

I know how frustrating the same old sex can be...me and hubby are sort of going through a sex make over....just changing things up. Every one changes over time...even sexually...so trying new things and most imortantly talking is key to being and staying happy in your sex life. good luck and dont expect anything to happen over night.

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I agree with WMS.. there are times when every married couple finds they're stuck in a rut. My hb and I have found that in those times it helps to talk about it OUTSIDE the bedroom, usually by looking for something together that we think will change things for the better. Maybe we'll shop for some new lingerie for me to wear to bed, or we'll get a new adult DVD to watch together, or we'll buy some new reading materials, that sort of thing.

Couples who make the mistake of thinking they can't bring in outside information/stimulation can't help but get bored. I agree also that Mikayla's "20 Positions" article was fun to read (and try some of them that we hadn't done in a while).

One of the first times, quite early in our marriage, my hb brought home a book of erotic fiction compiled by Lonnie Barbach.. can't remember the title, but it was GREAT! That book stimulated our post-babies sexual revolution, and since then it's only been getting better and better.

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I think that the first way to spice up your sex life is to think outside the box (or the bedroom)! Try making love on the couch - take her by surprise with a nice footrub, working up her thighs and then oral and whatever floats your boat. Or, if you don't sleep naked already, go to bed before your wife, naked, and then coozy up to her. You can leave her sexy notes in the cupboard or on the shower mirror - anything to get her thinking sexy thoughts about you.

By all means, read my articles on Foreplay, BDSM, Positions, etc. In those articles I expose some of my best secrets and ideas!!! I think that it is definitely worth a read.

Try to seduce her, surprise her, take her off-guard. REnt a hotel room for a night - just a night - do the bubble bath, hot-tub, candles, champagne (or beer) whatever, and just get down to romantic, lustful, sex.

Give her no option but to notice that you WANT sex....

Good luck

Mikayla

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