Bashful Wife - Adventurous Husband

[sensitiveso]

My wife is very traditional in the bedroom. It takes a lot of coaxing (sometimes some alcohol) to open her up to having fun. I like to explore her body for her G-spot. She becomes very sensitive very quickly with any type of vaginal foreplay, whether it be gentle oral, using my fingers, etc. I've read other threads about women who attempt to ejaculate using various methods - I wish my wife would be so willing. Otherwise, we have a great marriage so I don't think the relationship is the problem.

How can I get her to be more adventurous (and comfortable) in the bedroom?

[Valntyn]

If you click on the 'sex education' tab up at the top of the page, you'll see some wonderful articles, many of which are about different types of sex play. I'd encourage you (and her, if you could get her to) to read some of these articles that have interest to you.

Conversation is the key, though. Away from the bedroom, have a talk with her -- gently, so as not to scare her off further -- and find out her likes, dislikes, what she's maybe thought of trying but is too nervous to, etc. Also share your likes, dislikes, light fantasies. Start simple, work up from there.

Hopefully she's agreeable to go this route. Good luck!

[whiskeywoman]

A lot of women are very traditional in the bedroom.

A lot of women are brought up in the "old school" as far as sex is concerned, "lay there let him do his thing and it is over"

We are also taught "masterbation is bad, enjoying sex is bad, anal is forbidden, oral is nasty" And on and on and on.

I too have been very traditional in my own bedroom, until very recently.

Luckily, I have a partner who understands my fears and concerns, because we actually sat down outside of the bedroom in a neutral area and talked about them.

We asked each other what turned us on, what turned us off and why.

Once you understand the "WHY" something is a turn off, you can figure out to make it into a turn on.

My biggest turn off was anal, because a previous lover didn't take their time and didn't use the proper protocol.

Now, it is very quickly becoming a huge turn on for me, mainly because my partner goes slow and acts accordingly to my cues.

Unfortunatly, a lot of couples are together for years and years and one day the husband or wife decides to get adventorous and wants their partner to do the same.

In reality, it simply won't happen overnight, the other partner is far too set in their ways to be able to just snap out of old habits at the drop of a hat.

Don't get me wrong, thre is nothing wrong with wanting to spice up your bedroom life a bit, but just don't expect her to roll over tomorrow and say" hey honey, wanna do a 3 some?" *just an example*

Try starting slower, instead of going for the G spot right away, how about relaxing her a bit first?

Try one of the massage candles sold here at TT, they melt at a much lower temprature and ar much cooler.

It will definatly add a kink element to the bedroom without going over the top.

Perhaps you could make a small investment in one of the games sold here, they are a great non intimidating way for foreplay, they allow the players to be bolder than usual, and you can put the halt on it at any time you feel uncomfortable

I may be mistaken, but I believe Mikayla actually wrote a review on one of them.

Ahhh, yes here it is..

http://forums.tootimid.com/index.php?showtopic=1013

And here is the candle

http://shop.tootimid.com/index.asp?PageAct...ROD&ProdID=4416

Look at the toy review sections, Your sure to get some great ideas, and if you have any questions, feel free to ask, someone is sure to point you in the right direction!

[chickenmom]

whiskeywoman hit it right on the head. All of our young lives, we are told don't do this, because you'll be branded a slut. You want to be the one the boys marry, not the one they use, etc., etc., etc. It takes time even in a long term relationship to get over that tape in your head. Give her time. As much time as it takes. You'll be well rewarded in the end.

[Tyger]

We get a lot of these kinds of questions, so you are not alone!!

I must agree with all the previous posters:

*talking away from the bedroom is the best idea. If you decide to try and talk to her while trying to get it on, it may be taken as criticizing or complaining.

*lots of us were raised that if we were adventurous in sex, we would be considered "slutty".

*GENTLE persistancy is good.

Now for a couple of my own (2 cents worth):

*ask yourself, or her if you're not sure, was their any sexual trauma that happened to her in the past?

*how was her upbringing (ie-the belief that masturbation is *bad*, or sex is just for reproduction)?

*did she have past lovers? If so, were they just in it for their nut, and not her pleasure?

*toys? do you have any? there are several G-Spot items available, that are fun, unintimidating, and pretty! Just go to the Enter Product Search Box, and type in G-Spot, there will be a HUGE assortment come up for your viewing and purchasing pleasure!!!

What she has been use to, brought up with, past experiences, and her personal way of thinking are what you probably need to think about, and gentle ways of approaching these. Lifelong beliefs don't change overnight.

I was so happy to read that you don't think of this as a "problem", but something that you would like to work with, to improve a good marriage already!!

Read the suggested articles, maybe have her cruise the site. It's very friend, insightful, open, honest, and "safe", as in there aren't people here trying to "hook up".

Happy posting, reading, and welcome!!