Woman In Need Of Help!

[SGavin2004]

I am a married woman, with three children. I have noticed everytime my husband or myself uses our hands to masturbate myself, I can only get so far, I can never achieve an orgasm. This is very frustrating for myself, also is there any tips to make giving oral to my husband easier on me?

Thanks for the advice.

Savannah

[WifeMomSlave]

Hi Savannah,

Welcome to TooTimid! I was wondering is this a fairly new problem since the birth of your children or have you never been able too reach the big "O"? I would also suggest you read Mikayla articles on the sex education page regarding orgasms and she also has a great article on giving great blow jobs. try the tips she has (trust me they really work) then post back to tell us how everything is going and if you have further questions. Everyone on this site is great, very helpfull and friendly. Good luck and remember practice makes perfect it will take a few trys to find the right spot.

[whiskeywoman]

Ok,

Well first off I have to say, you not being able to have an orgasm is frustrating, the more frustrated you are, the harder you try, the harder you try the more frustrated you become, see the cycle?

I have to agree with wife, read Mikayla's articles on masterbation, orgasms and oral sex for men and women.

I know you will find a ton of great advice there.

As a mom myself, I know how diffacult it can be to go from "mommy mode" to " sexy vixen mode"

If you are too stressed or even if your thoughts begin to drift towards those regular thoughts we all have "what am I gonna wear tomorrow? what is work gonna be like?, are the kids going to behave tommorrow?, What am I gonna make for dinner tomorrow?" etc.

Even for a half of a second, you are gonna lose the zone as I call it.

Try practicing leaving your "to do list" outside of your bedroom door,

Yes I am very aware of how hard it can be to do that when you are in the middle of some serious foreplay and one of the kids comes banging on the door "moooommy, I want a drink!"

Or when you are on the verge of orgasm, the one being potty trained gets up cause they have to go to the bathroom.

Try some slow deep breathing techniques when you get close to orgasm, slow deep breaths in through the nose out through the mouth.

I myself find this helpful when I get close to the big O, I have a endancy to take short gaspy breaths when I get close, and I have to remember to breath a bit more slowly to relax the muscles enough to do what I want.

I also concentrate on just what my partner is doing, focusing on the sensations I get so I can figure out what I like and don't like.

I hope you find some info that helps.

Good luck

[CeceliaMay03]

Hey Savannah-

In addition to hands and regular oral, have you guys ever tried having him use a toy on you? You guys can start with hands and a little bit of oral, and then have him get you to finish with a toy. I was a little weird about my husband using one of my toys on me at first, but he loved it, and it was totally able to get me to O.He can even use his hand and the toy att the same time! If you have some good toys you like, and are comfortable with him doing that to you, you will love this.

[Tyger]

Welcome to TooTimid (aka TT)!!

The question I have is, have you ever had an orgasm? You would know if you have!! Trust me on this one!!

If you have in the past, and have troulbe now, then it probably IS the switching from Mommy Mode to Wife Mode. It is hard to get the To-Do lists out of your head long enough to concentrate on yourself. Wives and mothers are more giving and less selfish then (sorry guys) men are. Women tend to worry about everything else. We are geared to make lists, get things done, take care of the kids. Most men live in the moment, and only worry a bit, then move on. At least that's what I've found. Gawd!! I wish I could be more like a guy!! The trick is to get all of that out of your head. Try thinking how life was (if you can) without kids, or when they were so young and FAST ASLEEP!! Keep telling yourself that it is OK to be a bit selfish sometimes. Everyone needs attention, including Mommies!!

Your body DOES change when you have kids. Hormones do odd things to a woman's body, before, during, and even after the baby comes! You may have to try some self-exploration to see what turns you on now, and what doesn't.

Try not to worry about it, because, if you start being intimate, and worry about it, then the big O won't happen. Just relax, enjoy the feelings, listen to some calming music, and let his fingers and tongue work their magic.

Toys are another great enhancer tool in anyone's lovemaking. TT offers a great variety of toys, and a lot of them have some pretty detailed reviews on what they do, how they work, simplicity, and so on.

Good luck and happy posting and exploring!!