Members Summer1 Posted May 30, 2021 Members Report Share Posted May 30, 2021 I need advise as to what you would do. Married for 15 years, both in our 40’s, we have children, but haven’t had sex with my husband for 3 years. He is diabetic and didn’t take care of himself and has gradually not been able to have an erection at all. We have been to numerous doctors and nothing has helped. I do love him but am so frustrated that he can’t fulfill my desires to the point that he doesn’t even have the urge to do anything at all. We have lived like this for the last 3 years and I don’t know what to do. 1 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Rio Posted May 30, 2021 Members Report Share Posted May 30, 2021 You said you haven't had sex in 3 years. Is that just penetration or any type of sex? What about hollow dildos that he can wear and show you intimacy without having to have an actual erection himself? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Summer1 Posted May 31, 2021 Author Members Report Share Posted May 31, 2021 No penetration so I purchased some toys. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Summer1 Posted May 31, 2021 Author Members Report Share Posted May 31, 2021 On 5/29/2021 at 10:57 PM, Excited said: Well I certainly know what you are going through. This is not easily answered. Would he object to you having a fuck Buddy? You are young and have to ask what your capable of living with or should I say without. Only you can know what’s right for you. I would be happy to be your fuck Buddy. That way you could be mine as well. Just thinking about making you cum has me hard. We haven’t discussed that, he would probably object. I would like to have one though. Thanks Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Summer1 Posted June 3, 2021 Author Members Report Share Posted June 3, 2021 On 5/31/2021 at 5:50 PM, marka09 said: Summer1, I know that this is very frustrating for you. You are a normal sexual person with desires. Unfortunately you husband is no longer able to perform due to what ever reasons. That's not a good situation and will continue to erode the bond that you have. I've seen it many times. But the couples that I know who have survived, have made decisions jointly. You don't mention LOVE. If you love him and he loves you, there will have to be some give and take. Every solution has its own problems. Someone mentioned a fuck buddy. That's one solution but in situations like this, it leads to the vision of love which in turn destroys the marriage. The only way that it works is if your husband is an active participant in the decisions about who, how often, and your safety. he would need to get to know the person too. And you would need to resist the feelings of love and think about it only as sex. No matter what you decide, I understand your frustration and wish you the very best. I sincerely hope that you can work it out. Thank you for your advise. I did fail to mention love. We do love each other and are both willing to become more active in what we need as a couple. It is just very frustrating that my desires in intimacy can not be met as they used to. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Bob Long Posted June 3, 2021 Members Report Share Posted June 3, 2021 As mentioned your desires are normal and his lack of being able to perform due to his condition are normal for that circumstance, that being said there are plenty of diabetics that enjoy a full and enjoyable sex life, let me ask is he overweight, generally the two go hand in hand and that is a problem that can be dealt with. Along with his lack of sexual desire if he has let himself go to the point that his diabetes has effected his sexaul functioning I am no doctor but I suspect he has other serious health issues he needs to deal with as well. As far as the lack of your sexaul needs not being met will only lead to resentment and only succeed in worsening the relationship, if the situation was beyond his control than that would be a different story such as a couple we know where the husband had cancer and the drugs along with the radiation treatment all but completely destroy not only his desire but his physical ability to get an erection but he still made it a point to sexually satisfy his wife orally. She mentioned their situation to my wife being as they are very close she fumbled around the issue trying to find the right words when my wife just came out and asked her if she wanted to have sex with me to which she replied oh yes. My wife told her she had absolutely no problem with it but it would be my decision. I haven't said yes or no but find it some what uncomfortable to be as the close friends as we are and be fucking his wife even with his knowledge and blessing, what do I say after dinner instead of lets have desert I'm gonna go fuck your wife's brains out you too enjoy the coffee and cheesecake? Toys are a nice and enjoyable alternative but not a substitute for the real things you could ask him to use the toys on you perhaps in a soft bondage situation. not being able to get an erection is one thing but he still has a mouth and a pair of hands and fingers to participate but if he flat out has zero interest then my advice is find a fuck buddy a no strings attached partner who is just there to satisfy you and fulfill your needs, which you do have and are being denied of. With the roles reversed this situation has lead to a lot of divorces or husbands seeking sex outside the marriage. It is socially acceptable for a man to go outside of hismarraig for sex in situations like this and even when he just wants something different how many times have you heard the phrase "it's just sex" used when it involves men but not ok if a woman chooses to do the same thats a BS double standard and is archaic to say the least. You know him best if he would consent to it or not if he does then great if not just find someone to fuck your brains out and help relieve some of the stress Good luck 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members SexMaster Posted June 25, 2021 Members Report Share Posted June 25, 2021 A lot of issues with diebetes is sugar kills testosterone. Does he exercise? He has to do his part too. You can Direct message me if you want to talk privately. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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