Newbie sarafresa Posted December 1, 2006 Newbie Report Share Posted December 1, 2006 hi guys! Im new around here... ive got a question and i really hope some1 can help me.. so here i go. Im not very experienced when it comes to sex (im kinda new in this stuff of sexual intercourses). My problem is that each time ive sex with my bf we get certain kind of pain (not a pleasant pain though)... Not exactly at the very beginning but maybe like 10 or 15 minutes after starting with the "friction", the action, the intercourse or whatever you wanna call it (you know what i mean right?)... it feels as if my labia area was burning hot (like when you burn your skin with oil while cooking)... its almost the same for him... he feels like his penis was burning, and not only that... sometimes he even feels that his penis' skin is being ripped :S And actually that's what happens (by the way we dont use condom), during the "in and out movement" that friction causes his skin to rip:S so obviously we have to stop right away, and instead of feeling that pleasure of satisfaction that you can see in the movies, he feels "ouch", his penis gets "scratched" (the area of the head mainly) and is in pain :S while me :S i feel guilty for doing that to him (of course i dont do that in purpose :S but it feels that way), the burning hot in my labia area doesnt last for a longtime as soon as we stop, but i get a feeling of frustration :S i feel really bad cos he feels bad because he thinks its all his fault, while i dont think its his or mine fault, maybe its not the fault of any of us,... so at the end instead of having a good time we just feel guilty, frustrated, in pain :S and desperated, and,... well he has never told me, but i think i dissapoint him talking in sexual terms :S :'( and that gets me down!!! :S :'( Looking for information about "my problem"... i got this information: "If it hurts when you have sexual intercourse it may be because there is not enough of the natural lubrication made by a girl's body when she gets sexually aroused. Quite often being tense or rushing things doesn't help, so try to relax and take your time..." that sounds like a good explanation... but i dont think we fit in that category... what i mean is that i dont think my lubrication is poor,... we even use to "joke" about it, we would say "hey you have an ocean down there" so you can have an idea of the "amount" of lubrication i get, and about being tense or rushing... hmm... thats not the case either. When we want to make love is because we both want it, not just 1, so we take our time, you know what i mean, we start slow, kissing, hugging, etc. Its a romantic moment for both of us... its not something like "ok here and now... open your legs, 1,2,3 done!" not at all... In our desperation looking for "answers" sometimes we have even thought our "sizes" have something to do, i mean, hes a very tall and big guy, while im a small, thin girl... but that doesnt mean his penis is "mega super huge", and i dont think that means my "hole" is "ultra microscopic" that his penis cant fit in it at all ... that shouldnt be a good explanation, right?...Im also pregnant now, so my bf thinks that maybe my vagina produces some kind of chemical that causes that burning sensation... but i dont think thats true cos this problem is not a "new problem", it started before i got pregnant... although i must confess it has gotten worse lately... sometimes he says that maybe i get tense cos i dont want to hurt the baby and thats why my body answers like that... the dr has said everything is ok, he has said we can have sex as many times as we want, im not worried about my baby cos i know my pregnancy has been very good, so thats not the reason either. Actually now that im pregnant ive more "cravings" for sex than before... so GRRR i dont know why our bodies are reacting like that :S :'(I dont understand whats wrong with us :S :'( Any ideas?... Do you think using extra lubrication will help? If yes... which lube can you recomend me (for vaginal sex)? Has some1 had this problem too? (if yes, how have you solved it?), why does it happen to us? :'( I want to enjoy my sexual life, and i want to give pleasure to my bf... not pain :s :'( Please help me guys!!! As you see i really need help!!! Im desperate :'(!!!Anyways thanks for reading me, and really any comments, tips, ideas will be super appreciated!!! Thanks alot!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members elise Posted December 2, 2006 Members Report Share Posted December 2, 2006 Honey, it sounds like you and your boyfriend have a healthy and happy sexual relationship going. The fact that the skin on your boyfriend's penis is actually getting scratched or scraped is a sure sign of lack of lubrication. You say this happens after 15 minutes of thrusting or so. I wonder if your natural lubrication simply doesn't last long enough for intercourse of this duration. I would suggest that you continue to begin intercourse as you have been doing, but after 10 minutes or so, or perhaps as soon as either of you feels the 'burning' start, that your boyfriend withdraw his penis. You should then apply a generous amount of AstroGlide lubricant to his penis while he applies AstroGlide to your labia and vagina. Then resume intercourse and see if it feels better. I'm guessing it will. AstroGlide is the best lubricant for sex, in my experience. You can buy it at almost any pharmacy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tyger Posted December 2, 2006 Report Share Posted December 2, 2006 I would say, also, that you're both experiencing your dryness. Yes, you start out wet, but your natural juices do dry up. Friction does that. I would recommend using Astroglide or even KY for your situation. TooTimid also has a great lube too. Some people, especially younger ones, I have found, think that using lube is a sign that something is wrong with them or the sex. Not true!! It gives added lubricant to the areas needed so sex can be pleasureable, and not painful. It can also help extend how long sex can go on, since there is no pain.Now, I have also found, that saliva is a great lube, to a point. But, saliva also tends to dry things out (ever suck on your hair as a kid? When it dried, your hair was stiff?) after a while too.So, it's completely natural to experience, and we all tend to agree that this is probably what you're experiencing. If you try lube (don't be shy, use plenty) and you still get those sore spots, go see your doctor/GYN. There is a condition that some women get (I had it after I had my daughter), where there is a dry "spot" inside, and medication is needed to heal it. I can't remember what it's called though, for the life of me....... But since you're pregnant, this may be it too. I believe I had the condition I mentioned while pregnant too. I could even feel the spot that was dry while we were trying to have sex. Your body is going thru lots of changes, so it may be just that too. Good luck and try the lubing! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mikayla1 Posted December 3, 2006 Members Report Share Posted December 3, 2006 Also, by the way, since you are pregnant you should know that your body is going to do some really, odd things to you. Many times pregnancy produces more lubrication and sometimes LESS lubrication. It also could take more to get you excited or less. There is no way to describe how your body changes during child carrying.Did you have this issue before pregnancy? If so, it is definitely lubrication - a woman's "hole" is expandable and while it might be tighter with a bigger guy, I doubt this would cause the problem.So, get some lube, and ASK YOUR DOCTOR - this is mega important. he or she can probably enlighten you more than we can!Mikayla Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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