Three Somes

[christinaf085]

our relationship has been magnificent until this. this is the only problem we have had. it upset me so bad the first time he asked that I had a nervous break down, (was crying so hard that I threw up, got a headache so bad I couldn't see, and then passed out for 2 hours). he promised me he would let it go and not ask me again. but now he wants me to have a threesome, still. I know its a guy fantasy, but why do we have to live it out? I don't want him with another girl, if this happens I am going to be crushed and not be able to trust him again. I have told him in these exact world how much I don't want this but he thinks that b/c I am curious about other girls it would be good. how else do I get him to see that this will ruin our relationship? I don't want to leave him, but if we have a threesome I can't stay (I told him that too and he still thinks he can change my mind) :-(

[Mikayla1]

I am going to be brutally honest with you......threesomes usually don't end up well. I will admit, I have heard from some people who have had good expeeriences, but these are not the norm by far. I think that the issue is more of why you bf won't let this issue drop when he sees how terribly upset it makes you. Sure, most men have this fantasy - it is the ideal set-up - but a majority of women can't handle it. We are not hardwired to "share" or men or to risk losing them to another woman. Ask him if you can have a MMF threesome? Would he still be up for watching you get fucked by another man? Probably not.

I see a gross disregard for your feelings in this matter - and that is a big concern for me. I know for sure, that doing this will NOT help your situation, it will make it worse. This is because I don't think he will be satisfied with just one threesome. Why does he think YOU will do this, or change your mind about it? Why is he trying to? Why is this so important to him? Is your sex life dull and is he not satisfied? I would ask him all these things, and probably be preparing to leave him. I know that is harsh, but I wouldn't expect him to give me the answers I wanted.

I have written an article on Threesomes - it is in the Sex Education section. Read it, print it, give it to him. Be honest - do NOT do this because you feel you will loose him. If doing something that literally makes you ill is the only way to keep him then dump him like a hot potato cause he ain't worth it honey!!!

So, if you are looking for reasons to do it, I just can't give you any. I have had threesomes, none of the experiences ended up well for me. I would never do it now that I am in a committed relationship - too much to loose - my marriage.

I think if you were interested in doing it, but were on the fence about it, then I might be able to give you some cons and pros - but I don't see that in your post. DO NOT DO THIS - you will be angry at yourself if you do, and your bf will want more - I can almost guarantee it.

Good luck to you!

Mikayla

[Tyger]

First, let me also agree with Howard here. If you're making the statement that your relationship was magnificent before all of this, I am afraid you are severely misguided. Or, like a lot of women out there, have never been in a truly GOOD relationship. If you don't want to do this, then DON'T DO IT! He needs to respect that. A truly good relationship is having each person respect each other's feelings, try and understand each other's point of views, and if they don't agree, they respectfully agree to disagree and move on. He hasn't moved on, or shown any respect for your thoughts and feelings.

If your BF is bringing this subject up repeatedly, knowing how it affects you, then he doesn't truly care for you. If he wants to play the field, then he needs to move on, and get out of a "relationship". There's the blunt, honest truth.

Has he ever cheated on you? I'm sure that this subject has now questioned your trust in him. If not, it really should. Without trust, there is NO relationship. Yes, if y'all do split, it's going to be hard. But you will be free to find someone who will respect you and deserve your trust and devotion. Take your time, think about what you want to do, and who you want to be with. Do you honestly want to be with a guy that doesn't listen to you, or care about your feelings?

Like Mikayla said, do you think that he'd be up for a MMF 3-some? Probably not. True, it is a male fantasy for most men, but in relationships that are suppose to be committed ones, this should probably stay a fantasy. It takes an extremely STRONG relationship to withstand something like this, especially where each person in the relationship is there, and can see what they're doing. Visuals really stick with you.

You are young, and I am assuming he is as well. Let me give you some advise that I have learned over the years: The people you choose to bring in your life can affect you. If someone isn't helping your happiness, and is constantly helping you feel bad about yourself, then they aren't worth keeping around. It's your CHOICE to have someone in your life. In the past, each man I have been in relationships with, I have told them all that they were in my life because I WANTED them to be, not because I NEEDED them to be.

Best wishes, and I hope everything works out for you, and you do what will make you happy in the long-run.

[willtryanything]

our relationship has been magnificent until this. this is the only problem we have had. it upset me so bad the first time he asked that I had a nervous break down, (was crying so hard that I threw up, got a headache so bad I couldn't see, and then passed out for 2 hours). he promised me he would let it go and not ask me again. but now he wants me to have a threesome, still. I know its a guy fantasy, but why do we have to live it out? I don't want him with another girl, if this happens I am going to be crushed and not be able to trust him again. I have told him in these exact world how much I don't want this but he thinks that b/c I am curious about other girls it would be good. how else do I get him to see that this will ruin our relationship? I don't want to leave him, but if we have a threesome I can't stay (I told him that too and he still thinks he can change my mind) :-(

Here's my two cents, it won't be as good as the other three but here goes anyway. It's one thing for him to want to see you with another woman but a totally different one to want to be with one himself. He shouldn't try to pressure you into doing something like that. Sure lots of wome think about it but when it comes down to doing it, it's scarey. I just think he's thinking with his head, and not the one that rests on his shoulders. It is very insensitive for him to bring it up after he knew how you reacted before. I think you need to reevaluate the whole thing with this joker.