Newbie mjf954 Posted January 8, 2007 Newbie Report Share Posted January 8, 2007 This is rather embarrassing but I was 32 before I had my first orgasm...and it happened accidentily. Every woman I've ever talked to told me I needed more clitoral stimulation, or that my partner wasn't patient enough or stimulating me right. I ran the batteries down on several vibrators, trying for that elusive 'O'. Then by accident one night, while in the middle of heavy petting, I discovered 'the secret'. I need BOTH clitoral AND G-spot stimulation, at the same time, to have an orgasm. Years of intercourse...years of clitoral stim, just left me and my partner frustrated, and feeling inadequate til now. I have since made up for lost time! The orgasms are intense, full body experiences (borderline seizures!) that come in waves and have lasted up to 5 minutes. I know I should leave well enough alone and just respect what works for my body, but I can't help shaking the feeling that there is something 'wrong' with me. I have never heard of any other woman needing both types of stimulation simultaneously. So if you're out there...could you PLEASE tell me a little bit about your situation and let me know I'm not the ONLY one.... mjf954 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members coleyjames Posted January 9, 2007 Members Report Share Posted January 9, 2007 i am 26 years old and have just recently had my first orgasm. i too have to have clit and g-spot stim to make it happen. the first time i was like "WOW" so thats what i have been missing all these years. but my only problem is, i did it by myself with my toys and i still can't have one with my SO. so he gets upset because he thinks that he is not good enough for me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Newbie mjf954 Posted January 9, 2007 Author Newbie Report Share Posted January 9, 2007 i am 26 years old and have just recently had my first orgasm. i too have to have clit and g-spot stim to make it happen. the first time i was like "WOW" so thats what i have been missing all these years. but my only problem is, i did it by myself with my toys and i still can't have one with my SO. so he gets upset because he thinks that he is not good enough for me.Thanks for sharing! It was difficult for me to get off consistently in the beginning, I was in a bad marriage as well. It was much easier to coax an orgasm with toys. Eventually I got divorced and am now in a relationship with a wonderful man who takes great pleasure in giving me pleasure...and because of this, I would do *anything* for him in bed...gladly. He asked how I played with my toys to get an orgasm and I got the nerve up to show him. That's how he learned what WE need to do so we could start having orgasms together. It took a while but now I reach orgasm pretty much 95% of the time we make love. Though I wouldn't trade the intensity of the orgasms for anything, sometimes I wish they were a little easier to come by and didn't take so long to get (at least a half hour of constant stimulation). My SO doesn't complain...but even he admits that he has never come across a situation like mine before. Thanks again for sharing and BOL with your SO. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Newbie mjf954 Posted January 12, 2007 Author Newbie Report Share Posted January 12, 2007 There are other ways to have orgasms, and you have lots of erogenous zones. Find them all. Its the multiple E zone stimulation that gets most women to relax enough to climax, not stimulating just one place. That is a common mistake. Read the Sex Education articles here to learn all about having orgasms. The education your will get is specific, and terrific. To find all the articles, just click on the Tab above,marked Sex Education. You will need to increase your foreplay, and you should learn and TRAIN your own body and nervous system to orgasm by masturbating as often as you can. Women, during adolescence, as well as young men, learn to suppress their sexual feelings by turning their senses off. Later, when sex is OKAY for them to do, they find it almost impossible to overcome those old habits. But, YOU HAVE TO DO IT FOR YOURSELF. as no one else can really do it for you. IF you think your SO is simply going to sweep you up into his arms and make the world spin for you in orgasmic bliss, dream on. You are responsible for your own orgasms. If you want to retrain your brain, then work it like any other muscle. Don't stop when you reach climax once. That is just the beginning. Yes, your nerves will be on fire, and your brain may be telling you that you are feeling pain, when you touch yourself after having an orgasm. But touch yourself anyway, Or have your SO gently caress you. Breathe deep and exhale deep and slowly- not little short gasps- and you should find reaching orgasms easier. Keep having as many orgasms as you can stand, and then seal the deal with a few more. The more you train your brain to enjoy your own sexuality, the easier it will be to reach orgasm , and the faster you will experience orgasms during intercourse. By all means, use vibrators at this stage of your life to retrain the nervous system, and to find all your E-zones. use more than one vibrator at a time. The whole idea is to overcome the brain's control over expressing pleasure by climaxing, and the busier you pleasure your brain, the quicker you will lose control. Use those vibrators any place it feels good. After your first orgasm, you will find a lot more places where those vibrators feel good. Take notes, and pamper them individually sometimes, even before your first climax. Learn to have a climax stimulating every E-zone on your body, and then you can go to work on your fantasy life. Once you have trained your nervous system to respond to the vibrators, you can return to your own hands, fingers, and his mouth, tongue, lips, fingers, palms, etc. You can use the shower head or spray hose on the bath tub faucet, or enjoy the underwater water jets in a jacuzzi, or hot tub, or even the jets in a swimming pool. You can try beads, and dildoes, and and other stimulators to stimulate you to arousal. And you can learn to become arouse from flirting with your SO, and he with you. That is a beginning of your possible sex life. I can give you further directions after you have mastered these points. HowardHoward...thank you for your reply but I don't think you really read my post or perhaps misinterpreted it. I mentioned that I already use vibrators and I already have multiple orgasms that have lasted up to 5 mins. and I don't have an arousal issue. Since learning how to have an orgasm...(and I discovered how that worked...I didn't rely on a partner to do it for me) I have spent 18 years working on the fine points. I have experimented with different types of stimulation, on different errogenous zones trying to find ALL the ways that work. I have talked to gynecologists and even a sex therapist...most of whom just shrug and tell me 'that's just the way your wired...don't complain, most women would kill for a 5 minute orgasm'. I feel totally responsible for my orgasms, but I also happen to be fortunate enough to be involved with a very loving man who takes as much pleasure in my orgasms as his own. My ONLY question was: are there other women out there like me who need BOTH clitoral and g-spot stimulation to have an orgasm. I've done internet searches and have read about 'blended orgasms' but I have yet to find any lierature specifically related to women who NEED both types of stimulation to have an orgasm. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members CGEM Posted January 15, 2007 Members Report Share Posted January 15, 2007 The orgasms are intense, full body experiences (borderline seizures!) that come in waves and have lasted up to 5 minutes.I feel you. I'm so sorry for you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Newbie mjf954 Posted January 19, 2007 Author Newbie Report Share Posted January 19, 2007 I feel you. I'm so sorry for you. I asked for women with a similar condition to share their experiences. Not only are you the wrong gender but you're snide comment was really inappropriate...jerk. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members cdwaldorf Posted January 20, 2007 Members Report Share Posted January 20, 2007 If you want to retrain your brain, then work it like any other muscle. Don't stop when you reach climax once. That is just the beginning. Yes, your nerves will be on fire, and your brain may be telling you that you are feeling pain, when you touch yourself after having an orgasm. But touch yourself anyway, Or have your SO gently caress you. Breathe deep and exhale deep and slowly- not little short gasps- and you should find reaching orgasms easier. Keep having as many orgasms as you can stand, and then seal the deal with a few more. The more you train your brain to enjoy your own sexuality, the easier it will be to reach orgasm , and the faster you will experience orgasms during intercourse. Thank you Howard for writing this. I have struggled to have several O b/c basically it hurts. I don't see how I can keep going and ignore the pain. Do you have any suggestions? Oh and I will read the artical you mentioned b/c I honestly don't think I can O with nipple stimulation or any other place besides the clit. MJF945 I have the same problem in that it takes me a good half hour to O with constant stimulation. I have just started to relax and enjoy the play and not thing about the big O and this has helped. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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