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Am I normal?


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My name is Jerry and I am here to find out if I am normal.

My wife and I are in our late 30's and we have been married for about 10 years. We met this couple, Ron and Kathy,  about two years after we married.  We went out with them  and  went to their home many times. One night we had all been out to a bar and we all had too much to drink. We managed to get back to Ron & Kathy's home but we decided to spend the night rather than risk a DUI.. My wife and I were in a separate bedroom.  During the night my wife had to use the bathroom, which was in the hallway.  She  was naked and when she got out of bed, I told her she needed to put something on but she insisted everyone was asleep.  After about 15 minutes, I got up to see what was taking so long. She was not in the bathroom. She came walking toward me from the kitchen. She said she was looking for something to drink. A few moments later, I heard someone walk by our bedroom door. I was pretty sure it was Ron since I saw his wife go to bed earlier.  It didn't take much imagination for me to figure out what was going on so I decided we should  go ahead and drive home.

About a year later, Ron and Kathy  divorced and it wasn't long after that I discovered my wife was  having a sexual relationship with Ron. It bothered me at first but I chose not confront her about it. I  did not want our marriage to end in divorce, so I looked the other way. This is hard to explain but whenever my wife and I were having sex, she would find ways to bring up Ron's name and began fantasizing about having sex with him.  I'm not sure why but I was really turned on by this and It got to where we were talking about him almost every time we had sex.  I knew she was seeing him often. His house was about five miles from our house and there were many times when I saw her car parked in his driveway.  This went on for almost five years. It finally ended, I think, when her remarried.

What concerns me is why I was OK letting her have this sexual relationship with another man. To this day, just thinking about her having sex with him gets me turned on and I don't understand why.  Is this unusual?  Am I a sick person?

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I think you should’ve told her you knew about it, but were not mad about it. That would open up a different level of communication and trust between the two of you. Maybe she would suggest bringing either him or maybe another woman into your relationship for fun. If you opened up the door in bringing him into your fantasy talk in the bedroom, maybe she would be fine with you ‘talking dirty’ about another woman in bed with the two of you. 
As for being turned on, I think it’s very normal. You are still imagining your wife as a sexual being. You are picturing her receiving pleasure, there is nothing wrong with that. If you weren’t turned on by her being pleased, I would say it’s probably not a good thing.

Don’t beat yourself up about it. Use it to your advantage. It may open up a whole different level to your sex lives.

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It was Ron or could have been someone else… woman want what they want…unfortunately not always what you want. 
  You seem to love her, and that also means  to see her happy, and sexually your in the back seat, unfortunately. Taking what you can get…

Make damn sure you get what you want! 
Go fuck Ron’s wife and make her scream! 
then anyone else you can man! Live YOUR life! 

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I think it’s great you let her play with Ron and used it as a turn on for you in the bedroom. Every relationship is different. One person’s normal is no one else’s normal. And that’s why we have communities like this. Like minded people  open minded people. 😊 

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I agree with Katie, no one can judge a person abnormal if it’s between two (or more) consenting adults. 
It’s necessary for partners to discuss where their lines are. 
 

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