Not Sure About How To Proceed

[silvergirl]

I am married and up until 3 or 4 months ago I have had an average sex life. I have finally come to feel comfortable in my sexual skin and am enjoying a great sex life with my husband. However, I have recently picked up this vibe from my best friend (she is married too). I think she is coming on to me! She and I work out together regularly, we see each other at social functions fairly regularly and I have known her forever. I have three questions for you. How do I verify that she is thinking what I am thinking she is thinking? Would sleeping with her be considered an affair? and How do I let her know that I am interested in her without being overly obvious?

[starshine]

Silvergirl:

I think you are missing the bigger question. Are you faithful to your vows to your husband? If so, maybe you should be talking to him to find out how better to spice up your sex life with him instead of looking outside of your marriage to find what you possibly have right in front of you.

However, if you are feeling that perhaps you do not belong with your husband, perhaps it is time to end your marriage but be upfront about the reason. I have lived through one spouse that was unfaithful and I can tell you that it is difficult if nearly impossible to come back from something like that. Instead of my ex talking to me, he slipped around and it cost him everything - literally. Today, I am happily married with two children and while yes, life is difficult at times I am actually happy. He is living miserably and is unhappy after having gone through three wives, various children, two of which he has nothing to do with at all, and he has lost everything including his job, friends, home, his parent's home, his self-respect, and the list goes on and on.

If you are lacking spice, try first to find it in your marriage with the one you are committed to love and honor. If you can't do that at least have the courtesy and respect to leave the marriage and tell him why. It's the least you can do. Secrets always come out and while it may be painful now, it is much better than living with feelings of betrayal toward you later.

Please forgive me if I overstepped my bounds by saying what I did. It is just that I hate to see someone make such a move without fully thinking it out and taking into consideration what those consequences will have on the significant other in your life. Dating is one thing but marriage is something entirely different. Marriage is where you proclaim your love and make promises to another person and you hold yourself to those promises in all cases, not just when it suits you or when you think you need a little extra on the side. Talk to your husband. He may surprise you. I would have done anything to have saved my first marriage but the betrayal was more than my heart could take. I walked away and never looked back. Unfortunately, my ex looks back all the time and he has even told me that he knows that his slipping around was the first of his many mistakes and one he wishes he could take back. Do-overs are given in marriages but not very often. Do you really want to take the risk?

Just giving a hint of caution and food for thought.

SS

[ladypc]

I am married and up until 3 or 4 months ago I have had an average sex life. I have finally come to feel comfortable in my sexual skin and am enjoying a great sex life with my husband. However, I have recently picked up this vibe from my best friend (she is married too). I think she is coming on to me! She and I work out together regularly, we see each other at social functions fairly regularly and I have known her forever. I have three questions for you. How do I verify that she is thinking what I am thinking she is thinking? Would sleeping with her be considered an affair? and How do I let her know that I am interested in her without being overly obvious?

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

i have a friend who found me after 18 years

we got to talken about thing on line .it was easyer that way

and yes i am married and we both know that is what is .we do spend time to gether and we both injoy it

if your friend is on line shuch as u, tyr talken about thing .one day hubby might like to spend the time with the 2 of you.let her know u got these felling and she will tell u she got the same or she willhlep u deal with it

if she is your frined and u are worng about it she will be cool with it and might whant to try ....good luck

[Muffy]

If you have a good marriage and a husband that is not running around then forget the idea of even sleeping with her. In the same bed together could lead to to the beginning of s bi-sexual lifestyle. If your hubby found out you can lose everything as one has pointed out. A piece of ass or a behund the doors bi-sexual life can only lead to trouble. Take a good look at your ass in the mirror. If you like it the way it looks then forget this idea because if hubby catches you that ass you look at now will be lost in the turmoil and never look good again!!

[2gtbt2]

I'm going to have to go with Muffy on this one. The grass isn't greener girl, even that kind. Any kind of sex that you hide from your hubby is cheating. If this person is coming on to you, ask her!!! Then set her straight! It's so damn selfish of her to come on to you knowing that yuo both are married and I am going to assume that there are children that will be affected by this little romp you may be thinking of having....gee, just think of all the lives you will affect!

If you and your hubby ever get divorced and you think you want to explore, then go for it....but NOT with anyone else that's married, let's not go there!