Members Ami44 Posted July 10 Members Report Share Posted July 10 Hello, I met someone 7 months ago. I felt great attraction to him, but I was very disappointed when I was unable to be aroused physically. Mentally I wanted him, but my body didn't respond. He was offended and we ended up having an argument. This happened few more times. I went to see a doctor and they discovered that I am pre-menopausal and low on estrogen. I am still having periods. I am sad and devastated that I am incapable of experiencing sexual pleasure. 😢 Some background: 1. 45 years old female, pre menopausal, still having monthly periods. I started hormone replacement therapy a month ago. 2. Due to my upbringing I never had sex before my current relationship (PLEASE don't judge, I have had a difficult life) 3. I can't feel anything when touched in a sexual way, whether by myself or by my man. I do get wet, but do experience dryness. Mentally, I want to make love and I think about sex a lot. However, physically, I don't feel pleasure. This confuses me a lot. I feel like my man rushes into the act and gets frustrated, upset, with me because I am not "responding " the way I should. Why can't I feel anything? My doctor suggested masturbation 2x a week. But I can't get myself aroused physically. Has anyone experienced anything similar? Am I doomed to life of celibacy 😢 I want to love and be loved, and to experience that deeper level of intimacy. 1 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members 6981 Posted July 10 Members Report Share Posted July 10 I have not, perhaps someone on here can relate and help 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Rio Posted July 10 Members Report Share Posted July 10 @Ami44sorry to hear about your problems. Being a male, I don't think I can help you much. I sure hope you can find the sexual pleasure that you're looking for and more so to love and be loved. Good luck. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Ami44 Posted July 10 Author Members Report Share Posted July 10 Thank you, Rio. I hope so too. 🙏 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Upforit2 Posted July 10 Members Report Share Posted July 10 Hey, I’m a guy too but can relate to the upbringing part. Something else to consider (and I forget already if you mentioned it) is any meds you might be on. I know someone on one medication alone that completely kills all desire. Baring that, it might be a matter of being comfortable in your own skin. I know a drop dead gorgeous lady that doesn’t see that herself and that impacts almost all areas of her life. Don’t rule out professional counseling; there’s no shame in that. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Ami44 Posted July 10 Author Members Report Share Posted July 10 I am diabetic but currently have diabetes under control. Besides diabetic meds, I don't have any others (no insulin). I have battled with self-image, but am trying to work on it too. I don't know what to do. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Upforit2 Posted July 10 Members Report Share Posted July 10 Feels like I’m throwing darts here; could it be deep seated inhibitions that maybe you’re not even aware of that get triggered? Like I said, might think about counseling. Then too, might just be a matter of realizing men are like microwaves (ready instantly) and women (not all), are like crock pots (slow and steady gets it ready). 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Ami44 Posted July 10 Author Members Report Share Posted July 10 47 minutes ago, Upforit2 said: Feels like I’m throwing darts here; could it be deep seated inhibitions that maybe you’re not even aware of that get triggered? Like I said, might think about counseling. Then too, might just be a matter of realizing men are like microwaves (ready instantly) and women (not all), are like crock pots (slow and steady gets it ready). I have definitely some conditioning and brain washing from my younger days that negatively contribute. Problem is, I can'tfind a sex therapistin my area. I just looked into the diabetic medication I am on and one of them, Glipizide, has a rare side effect of libido loss, desire loss, and anything related. Though the medication has a short life inside the body, I have been taking it for at least a year. Probably longer. I am going to stop it for a while to see if anything changes. Fingers crossed. 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Upforit2 Posted July 10 Members Report Share Posted July 10 2 minutes ago, Ami44 said: I have definitely some conditioning and brain washing from my younger days that negatively contribute. Problem is, I can'tfind a sex therapistin my area. I just looked into the diabetic medication I am on and one of them, Glipizide, has a rare side effect of libido loss, desire loss, and anything related. Though the medication has a short life inside the body, I have been taking it for at least a year. Probably longer. I am going to stop it for a while to see if anything changes. Fingers crossed. I’d let your doc know your intentions; sometimes it’s dangerous to quit without tapering, etc. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members SexMaster Posted July 10 Members Report Share Posted July 10 10 minutes ago, Ami44 said: I have definitely some conditioning and brain washing from my younger days that negatively contribute. Problem is, I can'tfind a sex therapistin my area. I just looked into the diabetic medication I am on and one of them, Glipizide, has a rare side effect of libido loss, desire loss, and anything related. Though the medication has a short life inside the body, I have been taking it for at least a year. Probably longer. I am going to stop it for a while to see if anything changes. Fingers crossed. If you need to talk. I have a free shoulder for ya. 2 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members eagle143 Posted July 11 Members Report Share Posted July 11 12 hours ago, Ami44 said: I have definitely some conditioning and brain washing from my younger days that negatively contribute. Problem is, I can'tfind a sex therapistin my area. I just looked into the diabetic medication I am on and one of them, Glipizide, has a rare side effect of libido loss, desire loss, and anything related. Though the medication has a short life inside the body, I have been taking it for at least a year. Probably longer. I am going to stop it for a while to see if anything changes. Fingers crossed. I also take glipizide, actually 2x a day (morning and night) I need to check on the side effects , never thought about it affecting the sexual side 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Ami44 Posted July 12 Author Members Report Share Posted July 12 On 7/11/2024 at 8:24 AM, eagle143 said: I also take glipizide, actually 2x a day (morning and night) I need to check on the side effects , never thought about it affecting the sexual side It is a rare side effect. Strangely, Glipizide has short life in the body, so I am not even sure if it is a culprit at all. But, I will stop it for a while to see. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Susan James Posted July 12 Members Report Share Posted July 12 Are you sure it is not the salt peter that you are taking? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members eagle143 Posted July 13 Members Report Share Posted July 13 19 hours ago, Ami44 said: It is a rare side effect. Strangely, Glipizide has short life in the body, so I am not even sure if it is a culprit at all. But, I will stop it for a while to see. It's worth it to try but I would consult with the dr first before stopping it 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members bobbie63 Posted July 18 Members Report Share Posted July 18 theres lots of beautiful women out there and they for some reason when they look in the mirror some reason cant or dont want to see it, thats a problem, try to erase that thinking from you head , You ARE Beautiful, all women are ,,,,,,,,,,except 10% because mostly their attitude . 1 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Frontandback247 Posted July 19 Members Report Share Posted July 19 First off, it’s bullshit for someone to be offended and argumentative just because their partner didn’t get wet/hard during sex - - so the guy was completely in the wrong for his reaction to you. What exactly do you mean when you say you were “unable to get aroused physically” - - do you mean you didn’t get wet, or that you didn’t have an orgasm or something else? I’d say the issue of not being physically aroused is a problem guys experience more than women because for a variety of reasons sometimes their cock just doesn’t get hard. If your concern is just that you don’t get wet enough, I’ve seen that occur in several different women. Tell the guy to start by eating your pussy out - - the combination of being stimulated by his tongue along with his saliva should get you wet enough to fuck. Otherwise, just buy some lube and add a bit to your pussy before you start playing. I can confirm that lube works amazing on both women and men. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members MonishaS Posted July 20 Members Report Share Posted July 20 On 7/18/2024 at 10:39 AM, bobbie63 said: theres lots of beautiful women out there and they for some reason when they look in the mirror some reason cant or dont want to see it, thats a problem, try to erase that thinking from you head , You ARE Beautiful, all women are ,,,,,,,,,,except 10% because mostly their attitude . That was beautiful bobbie63💋 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members bobbie63 Posted July 20 Members Report Share Posted July 20 Guess some people didnt get it, thats the way i feel and see it, a couple of women i know think their ugly and need to quit thinking that way, 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members tiptaste Posted August 18 Members Report Share Posted August 18 I have a couple of friends who have similar experiences. Not exactly, but similar. Hormone replacement therapy may work. I have one friend who has been doing it for a while and she did get her drive back. Another struggled with the right amount. She went from mo sex drive at all to being very needy all the time. She also suffered from an image problem and actually that kind of got better when she started hormones but was horny all the time. We would get together for fun and she gave great head and also let me watch her masturbate...which she seemed to do all the time. That helped her with the anxiety. Now, she's off hormones and obviously not so needy but takes pleasure in giving pleasure. How do you masturbate? Maybe try a different way or in a different venue, even if it's just in a different room. Maybe toys and not just toys for your clit but maybe toys to stimulate other parts as well. Erotic literature? Porn? Just a few thoughts.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members tiptaste Posted August 18 Members Report Share Posted August 18 Sorry....I should add that my friend also tried a clit cream (I'm referencing another post from this site) and had some success with it. This was AFTER she went off hormones and she would let me rub her to a climax using it. She had a swollen clit for a few hours after each session but preferred someone else doing it to her. It would get her pretty wet as she had it rubbed and she had a great climax to the point that she happily continued with a toy that penetrated her. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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