Members butterflygirl Posted April 20, 2007 Members Report Share Posted April 20, 2007 Ok so at what point do you consider it cheating on your spouse? In your opnion is phone sex cheating? Email sex? Please give reasons as to why you feel the way you do. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members luvhim93 Posted April 20, 2007 Members Report Share Posted April 20, 2007 i consider that cheating as the person doing this is giving the attention that is supposed to be directed to the one they are married/dating to. UNLESS it is agreed that these acts are okay. mho Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members willwork4sex Posted April 20, 2007 Members Report Share Posted April 20, 2007 I call e-mail, IM, phone sexual writings/conversations between a member of the opposite sex cheating if your spouse does not know about it or agree with it. If you can not tell your spouse what you are corresponding about then I would consider that cheating. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Valntyn Posted April 20, 2007 Members Report Share Posted April 20, 2007 I think you're going to get several different types of responses for this question, but I'm wondering: If you're asking the question, are you already doing it and do you already consider it cheating?My opinion, if your SO doesn't know you're sexually-communicating with another person, then yah, it's cheating. That means there's a lack of communication between you and your SO, and that can't be good. Try to figure out why there's that lack and see if you can fix it. Then, once you two are all good, if you still want to flirt-out with other people, bring your SO into it. See if you can't bring whatever you're typing to the other into your own sex life -- kinda like a porn script of your own making. Just an idea. For example, there was a time, WITH MY HUSBAND'S FULL KNOWLEDGE, that a male friend and I took it to that "textually sexual" level. It made me fantastically horny and my husband reaped all the benefits. But he KNEW everything I'd typed, knew it wasn't going anywhere otherwise with my friend, and knew it was purely "textually sexual." Like I said, my hubby got the actual physical pleasure from my fun.For now, though, I'd call it quits on the other end and work on your SO, if you're having issues there.Good luck! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members butterflygirl Posted April 20, 2007 Author Members Report Share Posted April 20, 2007 I think you're going to get several different types of responses for this question, but I'm wondering: If you're asking the question, are you already doing it and do you already consider it cheating?My opinion, if your SO doesn't know you're sexually-communicating with another person, then yah, it's cheating. That means there's a lack of communication between you and your SO, and that can't be good. Try to figure out why there's that lack and see if you can fix it. Then, once you two are all good, if you still want to flirt-out with other people, bring your SO into it. See if you can't bring whatever you're typing to the other into your own sex life -- kinda like a porn script of your own making. Just an idea. For example, there was a time, WITH MY HUSBAND'S FULL KNOWLEDGE, that a male friend and I took it to that "textually sexual" level. It made me fantastically horny and my husband reaped all the benefits. But he KNEW everything I'd typed, knew it wasn't going anywhere otherwise with my friend, and knew it was purely "textually sexual." Like I said, my hubby got the actual physical pleasure from my fun.For now, though, I'd call it quits on the other end and work on your SO, if you're having issues there.Good luck!Thanks guys. My answers are two fold. Yes I am have text, email and phone sex with a friends husband but BOTH OF OUR partners know about it. We joke about sex hen all together. We all 4 joke about what we are going to do to each other but he and I are the only ones talking other then face to face. It is a JOKE and we all know NOTHING would ever come of it. My Dh and I have a great relationship and so do my friend and her Dh. None of us has a desire to go elsewhere. Our spouses reap the benefits. It gives us new ideas and opens new conversations up between all of us. The reason for my question is we were all out together one night and the topic of what is cheating came on the radio talk show we had on in the car. Alot of people consider what he and I do as cheating. We don't because there is not an emotional connection plus our spouses know what we are doing. So now what is your opnion??? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members luvhim93 Posted April 20, 2007 Members Report Share Posted April 20, 2007 I think we have all said the same thing... it is cheating if your SO does not know anything. Cheating is defined as an act of lying, deception, fraud, trickery, imposture, or imposition. Cheating characteristically is employed to create an unfair advantage, usually in one's own interest, and often at the expense of others[1]. Cheating implies the breaking of rules. The term "cheating" is less applicable to the breaking of laws, as illegal activities are referred to by specific legal terminology such as fraud or corruption. Cheating is a primordial economic act: getting more for less, often used when referring to marital infidelity.that being said since he does know...then it is not.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tyger Posted April 21, 2007 Report Share Posted April 21, 2007 I have to agree with the other posters. If your hubby doesn't know that you're finding affection elsewhere, then yes, it is cheating. However, your husband and your friend (which, IMO is a BIIIIIG no-no, flirting, cybering, or anything else sexual for that matter, with a friend's SO) know about it, & they don't seem to let it bother them, then it's not cheating. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Newbie pleasurethyself Posted May 28, 2007 Newbie Report Share Posted May 28, 2007 Ok so at what point do you consider it cheating on your spouse? In your opnion is phone sex cheating? Email sex? Please give reasons as to why you feel the way you do.wow..i am going through a similar situation at work..i am texting and sending sexual ims to a co worker(i look foward to his messages in turn)...i honestly did not consider it cheating but after reading everyones posts i think i need to reconsider...and unlike your situation, i think i would bring my feeling to the next level...only problem there is he is the married one... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Newbie leoria Posted July 30, 2007 Newbie Report Share Posted July 30, 2007 I have i similar situation, in that my boyfriend does these things behind my back, i have told him that it bothers me because i found pics and emails one day. He said he had stopped but he still goes to all those web pages and will never log on to any of them when i am around. Plus he was telling those girls how pretty they were and how great they were, but he never tells me anything like that. I dont want to break up with him but i dont know what else to do. It seems like he doesnt care about how i feel. Any ideas other than breaking up with him? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Newbie leoria Posted July 30, 2007 Newbie Report Share Posted July 30, 2007 Thank you for you advise, i kinda knew that is the only real option i was just hoping there would be another way. We have been together for 2 and half years now, and i just wanted it to work. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tyger Posted July 30, 2007 Report Share Posted July 30, 2007 My ex husband cheated on me via the internet. He tried telling me that all these girls sent the stuff to HIM. Well, I was also an instructor at a computer training center, and found the cookies, and dates of where HE visited the sites, and the e-mails were obviously sent to him. More than one woman e-mailed naked/sexy pics, and the same women more than once. So, it's something you can research if you want. If he's stopped it, great!! But, it's very hard to stop all of that kind of stuff once started.However, I will agree with Howard, if he has been doing this while with you, then no, he doesn't respect you. He may love you, but he also loves the attention that all these sexy little flirty e-mails give him. It's flattering, and ego boost, whatever. Plus, if he does all of this still, then he doesn't respect you, and if he doesn't respect you, his love is pretty weak, IMHO. If you don't trust him, there's really no relationship. Trust your gut instinct, and go with it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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