Question From The Slightly Inexperienced

[jinx23]

Hello everyone,

First let me say sorry in advance if this post is slightly unorganized. I find it a little hard to organize and write down my feelings/houghts/questions about sex possibly because it is tied up with other issues.

I have a question about giving blowjobs. I am not uncomfortable giving my guy a blowjob at all but I will say that I am very unadventerous. I think it probably has something to do with how I was introduced to the whole thing. The first couple of guys I did this to didn't care about me at all. They just wanted pleasure and the whole act was pretty forceful and humiliating with constant remarks about how I wasn't doing it properly. This was when I was younger and willing to put up with that kind of crap if I thought a guy liked me. I am very much past putting up with that although some hang ups have followed me through.

For example, I've read in the tips section that guys like it if you look up at them while your mouthing or sucking thier penis but I always feel like I look very ridiculous doing this. THe same applies to most actions outside of just the basic 'bob and suck' routine. I am dating a fairly new wonderful guy who I really want to pleasure so I am trying to get over these hang-ups.

Now after all of this rambling my question is...are there times when guys find something a women does when she's giving a blow job ridiculous? Does it matter? Or do they just like the fact that thier women is wanting to try new things? Are there any women (or men) out there in a similiar situation? Can you give any suggestions about how I can get over these hang ups?

Thanks in advance for the advice and hope everyone's having a great weekend!

[Mike_d]

eye contact is hot. I love it for the fact that she seems to be communicating to me that she loves me, and she enjoys going down on me. It's also great to get alot of variety, when she alternates her hand for her mouth and licks all over the shaft and head, then sucks on my balls, the difference in sensation is great. If you just stick to bob and suck, it can get repetitious, not that it's not enjoyable, but even that can be boring after a time. Enthusiasm is the key for most men, if you enjoy it and enjoy them, they will notice. Don't think about feeling stupid, just focus on him and his needs and he won't have a care in the world other than the wonderful act of giving pleasure you are performing on him.

[CGEM]

Hi Jinx,

Don't worry about looking rediculous. Just let it go, girl!

I've had my share of bj's, good and... not so good. The not-so-goods had nothing to do with her looking rediculous. I believe I talk for at least 90% of men when I say that a bj shouldn't feel like a routine. If you're bored or confused doing it, we feel it. Instead, LOVE IT and SHOW him that you love it. Don't leave any room for doubts. Eye contact is an extremely hot way to tell him "see how I love sucking your big cock".

Damn it. Now I want some, too.

[Tyger]

I don't think I have ever heard of a man laughing at a woman giving a blow job because they looked silly, so don't worry. Most men would be happy having a woman have his penis in her mouth.

You're probably feeling a bit on the self-conscious side, which is normal, since you haven't really had great oral experiences. Listen to your man's verbal sounds. He will let you know (usually) when he REALLY likes something you're doing. Or you could just ask him. That is sexy too. Just asking him in a low, sexy voice, "Do you like that baby?" Also gets a man hot. It shows that you're into what you're doing, and wanting to please him. Listening, learning, AND teaching someone how to please you, are all signs of a good lover. So, have fun, relax, and try not to worry about how you look when doing something.

[jinx23]

Thanks for the advice everyone. I have been trying different things out and trying to be more confident and it's working so far! I think my SO has caught onto the fact that I am encouraged and more enthusiastic when he lets me know he's enjoying it by making noise or saying something because he's been doing it more frequently (ha or maybe my technique has improved that much!)

Also on a side note: I never realized how much my mind set was influencing what I attempted to do...I mean I had always just assumed that deepthroating was something that only a few people could do and it wouldn't be fun for me at all. After reading Mikaylas article (the advice was great!!) I decided to start trying. While I'm definitely not there yet I can go pretty far and my SO really seems to love it! Also the feeling of accomplishing that is soooo empowering! You have no idea how much I love this site and am loving the advice I'm getting here! Thanks so much everyone!!!

J

[Janene274]

Hi. I was like you once. However, I was introduced to oral sex as a drunken teenager. I don't even remember what I did. Just have vague flashes of being on my knees...nice, right? Anyway, I never really liked it, cause I thought I didn't know how to do it. I would do it here and there, and then just phase it out. My ex-husband, who was with almost 10 years may have gotten 4 or 5 in that time. I just didn't want to, and it wasn't a good marriage, so I wasn't willing to try to overcome it for him. They guy I am in a relationship with now is so great. He had not had much experience receiving this, as he is only 22, and the two girls he dated? One did it for him once, and one did it twice. One night, I said, would you go in the bathroom and wash up a little and I'm going to go to the kitchen. When I get back, be back here and have the boxers off. He sat there for a sec looking a little dumbfounded. I don't know what possessed me to want to try this. Well, I returned and off I went...and he LOVED it. I had always been told I did it well, but I never thought so. However, I do lack a gag-reflex and this helps. Later he said, so now I know what the big deal is. It's never felt like that before!

Now, I find myself WANTING to do it to him all the time. 4, 5 times a day. He never tires of it. What guy does? I've tried a million different ways to do it, and he loves them all. I don't recall actually LOOKING at him, because he's always laying down with his eyes closed and a content grin...

But, when I have changed from one spot to another, maybe my neck was getting uncomfy or something? I have looked at him and he looks like a man at peace. I have even stopped and said, baby, which is the most sensitive part??? And he said, "Um...right here, and over here." I asked him later why he took a second to think about it. He said no one ever asked or cared. They just bobbed up and down and sucked way too hard. I said, well, I want to make sure I make you feel as good as possible. They notice when you are interested in making them feel good. Pay attention to their penis also. Don't just turn out all the lights and suck it and go gargle. No man wants that.

I like to look at it, stroke it a little...(also helpful in making sure there are no little hairs llose...LOL) Give some very gentle kisses to the head and area right around the head...not PECKS like you kiss your grandma. Kisses with just a little tongue...it teases it and makes them CRAVE the rest of your mouth...and THEN go to it. You don't have to only suck with it IN your mouth. You can take it out and suck, kiss, lick the sides, back, front, top...and don't forget the balls.

LOL... good little finisher here. At least my guys likes it...LOVES IT. When you are done, if you DO swallow or allow him to come in your mouth...which I do the whole deal! At the end, after it's out of your mouth, stay there a sec. look at it and I'll say, "mmmm, I missed a drop, and I'll suck or lick any last drops that may remain..." Makes him crazy that I enjoy him and his taste so much that I don't want to miss a drop. And then, make him anticipate it the next time. I'll send mine an IM at his office saying, "I can close my eyes right now and taste you in my mouth. I sooo wish you were here" He won't be late coming home from work that night...

I dunno. That's just a whole bunch of my opinions. Oh, and the finger/anus...it works. Right guys? They helped me out with that one.

[Janene274]

Oh yeah...a litle raking the nails along his thigh, or into his butt cheeks makes him realize you are completely consumed and are truly enjoying what you are doing. By the time I am done with him, I am so ready for him....I HATE that I made him cum and now have to wait to be ready again. though...I have been known to get him real close, then stop...look at him...climb on top...slowly lower onto him and ride him very hard till he comes, and he comes VERY HARD AND STRONG that way. However, climbing on fast and not slow works too...it ALL WORKS!!! Enjoy!!! I remember the first time I did that, he opened his eyes and said, "why'd you stop? what are you...oh...OH!!! OH GOD......" and the rest was history!