Dirty Talk!

[hotbamachic05]

Okay so I have this problem...well not really a problem but more of a...hmmm...I don't know what to call it...I'll just go ahead and tell ya'll what is going on. Somtimes at night my husband and I will have sex, and he says its the best sex, its always like dirty and rough, and sometimes he says I even ask for anal sex and that it is just extremely good but I don't remember it in the morning. He will wake me up and tell me how good I was last night and I have no clue what he is talking about. I can totally tell that I have had sex but I can't remember a thing. This has started in the past 2 years and it happens at least once a week...I know this sounds so weird but this is what i'm having to deal with and I'm wondering if I'm just some kind of crazy person or if there is something wrong with me that I maybe need to go see a doctor about. But he says I talk really dirty and I can almost never do that when I'm awake....or conscious or whatever...when i know what i'm doing. If anyone out there has heard of this can you tell me about what is wrong with me? I'm thinking maybe the things that I can't bring myself to do while I am awake my subconscience is doing while i'm asleep....does that make sense? I don't know but any input would be nice....

[Mikayla1]

I am a little more concerned than others may be - if you can NOT remember ANYTHING about being with your hubby, having sex, etc - AND if your personality is drastically different than your awake times - I would be a wee bit confused. Many women talk dirty during the moment of sex - the sensations feel SOOOO good that they can not control themselves and what they say - this is completely normal.

However, if you are having anal sex and dirty sex and NOT remembering the SEX at all......I would wonder what is going on. Is your hubby approaching you after you are asleep? If so, you may be having sex in your sleep - but unless you are REALLY out of it, I would say this wouldn't happen.

I would tell your doctor about this - I am not normally an extremist, but it almost sounds like a multiple personality type thing. This is not uncommon for people to have one or two personalities that are THIS different - but usually it is the result of some type of abuse that causes mental breakdown.

I am NOT a doctor - but if this continues tohappen - I would definitely consult your doctor. Does your hubby notice this behavior change any other time, or just during sex sometimes? Give it some thought - it could be serious, it could be nothing, but I like to consider all plausible options.

[Mike_d]

There is a separate possibility, Bama are you taking any medication? Ambien the sleep aid was causing some women to do exactly what you are experiencing. One husband said his wife would wake him up in the middle of the night and do all the dirty things he had ask her for, but she was too shy to do on her own. He said she was very agressive and would get him to do things to her she had always VEHEMENTLY refused to do. It was a side effect of the meds. If you are on any medication for anything, you might check with the perscribing physician.

[TimiDoll]

Hey.. I just came across an article which I thought might be interesting for you or anybody else with the same 'problem':

Sex While Asleep Not Just Dreamed Up

FRIDAY, June 1 (HealthDay News) -- After uncovering the secret lives of people who walk, eat and become aggressive while asleep, scientists are now turning to another bedtime phenomenon: "sleepsex."

Reports of sexual behavior while asleep have become so common that experts on Friday released a classification system that allows doctors to better document these cases.

People who engage in sleepsex "don't remember what they do, and it's their bed partners who tell them. They're mortified, and the partner complains they're being assaulted or molested," said Dr. Carlos Schenck, a sleep researcher who was lead author on the report. "Now they'll realize this is a sleep-related disorder."

Since the 1990s, researchers have been exploring the range of "parasomnia" behaviors in which people do things other than sleep while sleeping.

Sleepwalking, of course, is nothing new -- ask Lady Macbeth -- but researchers are discovering that people eat while asleep, engage in violence, and even intensely scratch themselves.

"Anything that people do during the daytime, we're realizing they can do during sleep, all the instinctual or basic behaviors," Schenck, an associate professor of psychiatry at the University of Minnesota Medical School, said.

Schenck and colleagues explored existing reports of sexual behavior during sleep and created the classification system. Their work appears in the June issue of the journal Sleep.

The researchers looked at 31 cases of sleep-related sexual behavior. They found that 80 percent involved men. Only males engaged in sleep sexual intercourse (42 percent of cases) while females were more likely to engage in "sexual vocalizations." People of both genders reported incidents of sleep masturbation.

In one case, they reported, "a 28-year-old woman had nightly sexual moaning and sexual fondling during sleep for 16 years that would appear within 20 minutes of falling asleep and disturb the sleep of her husband and children."

In another case, a 26-year-old woman would initiate foreplay with her bed partner during sleep and then awaken and accuse him of forcing sex upon her.

None of the patients reported remembering the incidents.

Patients who have sex while asleep typically do not have any form of mental disorders, Schenck said. "Basically, an alarm rings in their nervous system when it shouldn't ring, and they have this partial awakening. It's a twilight state," he said.

Unfortunately for the patients, "they have suspended judgment," Schenck said. "They can't monitor themselves, and they're are risk for harming themselves or someone else."

In many cases, he added, bed partners reported unwanted sexual advances by a sleeping person, but sometime said they didn't mind the extra attention.

The sedative clonazepam (Klonopin) is a frequent treatment for unwanted behaviors during sleep and it works in 90 percent of parasomnia cases, according to the new report.

It's not clear how common sleepsex is. Dr. Robert Vorona, a sleep researcher and associate professor of internal medicine at Eastern Virginia Medical School, suspects that the true number of cases is not on the rise.

"However, until sleep specialists actively question our patients about these delicate issues, we will not really know just how common or uncommon these behaviors might be, or whether these activities might be occurring more frequently," he said.

As for the future, he said sleep experts -- already called as experts in court cases on violence reportedly taking place during sleep -- may find themselves testifying even more often.

"Sleep clinicians should not be surprised to find themselves increasingly being asked to testify in controversial cases involving sexual activity during sleep," he said.

More information

To learn more about sleep disorders try the National Library of Medicine.

Source

[Tyger]

How did I miss this post???

I too aren't usually an alarmist, and that article was very informative, thank you TimiDoll for sharing that with us.

I would go and talk with your doctor. You may be having episodes like that article, and/or like sleep walking. I wouldn't just look in the mirror and consider you and your husband lucky that you do this. I don't know if you feel like sex is dirty or not. You never said anything. But this kind of behavior isn't normal, and, since you posted concerns, I would definitely go and see your doctor. (S)he may not have come across this particular behavior, but, not much SHOCKS a doctor, and they are the ones that have access to medical options for you. Your doctor can help find out how to help it, and may suggest that you go see some kind of counselor, possibly. Having sex, any kind of sex, shouldn't be blocked or unremembered.

My husband did this to me once, started rubbing all over me, and seduced the ever living "O" outta me, and I guess he woke up in mid-romp. He asked me how long we'd been going at it after we were done. I was puzzled, and a bit confused. He has a history of sleep walking. You may be experiencing the same thing. BUT, for me, it was a one time thing. He doesn't normally do this.

Please, go see your doctor, and I hope you are able to find some answers.

[hotbamachic05]

Hey.. I just came across an article which I thought might be interesting for you or anybody else with the same 'problem':

Sex While Asleep Not Just Dreamed Up

FRIDAY, June 1 (HealthDay News) -- After uncovering the secret lives of people who walk, eat and become aggressive while asleep, scientists are now turning to another bedtime phenomenon: "sleepsex."

Reports of sexual behavior while asleep have become so common that experts on Friday released a classification system that allows doctors to better document these cases.

People who engage in sleepsex "don't remember what they do, and it's their bed partners who tell them. They're mortified, and the partner complains they're being assaulted or molested," said Dr. Carlos Schenck, a sleep researcher who was lead author on the report. "Now they'll realize this is a sleep-related disorder."

Since the 1990s, researchers have been exploring the range of "parasomnia" behaviors in which people do things other than sleep while sleeping.

Sleepwalking, of course, is nothing new -- ask Lady Macbeth -- but researchers are discovering that people eat while asleep, engage in violence, and even intensely scratch themselves.

"Anything that people do during the daytime, we're realizing they can do during sleep, all the instinctual or basic behaviors," Schenck, an associate professor of psychiatry at the University of Minnesota Medical School, said.

Schenck and colleagues explored existing reports of sexual behavior during sleep and created the classification system. Their work appears in the June issue of the journal Sleep.

The researchers looked at 31 cases of sleep-related sexual behavior. They found that 80 percent involved men. Only males engaged in sleep sexual intercourse (42 percent of cases) while females were more likely to engage in "sexual vocalizations." People of both genders reported incidents of sleep masturbation.

In one case, they reported, "a 28-year-old woman had nightly sexual moaning and sexual fondling during sleep for 16 years that would appear within 20 minutes of falling asleep and disturb the sleep of her husband and children."

In another case, a 26-year-old woman would initiate foreplay with her bed partner during sleep and then awaken and accuse him of forcing sex upon her.

None of the patients reported remembering the incidents.

Patients who have sex while asleep typically do not have any form of mental disorders, Schenck said. "Basically, an alarm rings in their nervous system when it shouldn't ring, and they have this partial awakening. It's a twilight state," he said.

Unfortunately for the patients, "they have suspended judgment," Schenck said. "They can't monitor themselves, and they're are risk for harming themselves or someone else."

In many cases, he added, bed partners reported unwanted sexual advances by a sleeping person, but sometime said they didn't mind the extra attention.

The sedative clonazepam (Klonopin) is a frequent treatment for unwanted behaviors during sleep and it works in 90 percent of parasomnia cases, according to the new report.

It's not clear how common sleepsex is. Dr. Robert Vorona, a sleep researcher and associate professor of internal medicine at Eastern Virginia Medical School, suspects that the true number of cases is not on the rise.

"However, until sleep specialists actively question our patients about these delicate issues, we will not really know just how common or uncommon these behaviors might be, or whether these activities might be occurring more frequently," he said.

As for the future, he said sleep experts -- already called as experts in court cases on violence reportedly taking place during sleep -- may find themselves testifying even more often.

"Sleep clinicians should not be surprised to find themselves increasingly being asked to testify in controversial cases involving sexual activity during sleep," he said.

More information

To learn more about sleep disorders try the National Library of Medicine.

Source

Thank you so much for that article it was very informative and thank you all for your advice, my husband says I should also tell you that it seems to happen more when I have something important to do the next day. Don't know if that adds anything to it or not but I thought I would add that. Thanks again for all you input.

[Mike_d]

Your stress level input makes it seem to be an relaxing mechanism for you. If you are stressed and don't feel like having sex, your subconcious sees the benefit of the endorphins and when you shut down for the night, it says, we need to relax and this is a sure fire way.

Just my two more cents here.