My Husband And Strip Clubs

[butterfly1973]

I am just wondering if my husband getting lap dances from other women is considered cheating? Personally, I don't know either way.

[Mike_d]

I don't approve of strip clubs. I know that many othes on the board disagree, but I would not, nor have I ever been to a strip club. I know the attitude of many is "It does not matter where he/she gets their appetite, as long as they eat at home" but I just have to disagree. When you frequent places where the focus is a perceived notion of sex with someone who is designed to be a fantasy, what does that make you. reality and just like many people on here have said, somtimes reality is not as good as the fantasy, so he goes back to get that same feeling of fantasy and release. I think it's cheating, but that is Just My Opinion.

[Mikayla1]

Technically speaking, lap dances are not cheating when most people consider the word cheating. However, if it bothers you, and he knows that it bothers you, then it could very well be emotional cheating.

It also depends on the type of club. Are the girls totally naked? Can he touch them (even though you aren't supposed to)? DOes he go a whole lot spending tons of cash on lap dancing?

Have you ever gone with him? I buy my hubby lap dances at clubs (and sometimes one for me too) just because I know that there ain't nothing that girl is giving or showing him that I couldn't do myself at home - plus MORE! He has gone a few times by himself, but I trust him and he always comes home to give me what they ain't gettin! They can have his money (to a degree) but they are NOT getting his heart or his cock - and they don't want it - they would rather have the money!

So, your original post didn't say - is this a problem in the relationship? Do you mind? If it is just a question of cheating, I would say it isn't - unless you are emotionally distraught and he knows it - then it might be emotionally bad.

[Tyger]

I will agree with Mikayla here. I feel the exact same way, so that's easy to do. I, personally, have never been to a strip club. But I would LOVE to go, either with friends, or with my hubby. I trust my hubby, and he trusts me. He's been to a few, since we've been together. I've never had an issue with it.

I don't feel that this is a form of cheating, per say. Unless he's going to a less than reputable one, that allows more than just dancing. But I wouldn't worry too much. The ones that allow "extras" are not overly common. Most places have an either No Touching rule or only the dancer is allowed to touch, to a degree. And those rules are followed very closely. Trouble costs owners and dancers money, so they do tend to stick to the rules more.

If he's going, even after you voice your displeasure with it, then, I would say that he's not cheating on you, but he IS being disrespectful of your wishes & feelings. There is a difference, though sometimes the lines there are slight.

Like Mikayla asked, is it bothering you? Have you told him that you don't like it? Have you gone with him to one, and seen what goes on?

[dmrobinson84]

I must add my two cents to this topic. I am new here but have some experience and am willing to share.

My hubby and I have been to a strip club. It wasn't the best place in town, but we went anyway! We didn't know exactly what we were in for, but ended up having a good time.

When we first arrived, we didn't like the lighting, it felt almost boring. We expected more from the way people talked about it.

We sat near the back, where we could watch all around. The amount of couples that came in made us more comfortable. I couldn't believe just how many couples were actually there.

After a drink or two, it didn't change too much. We laughed and people watched for a good share of the time.

I actually expected more than just a girl swirling a couple times around a pole, and loud music. I WAS DISAPPOINTED a little.

I didn't see anyone actually getting any lap dances, the girls would wiggle their butts in the faces of some of the men sitting stageside, but nothing I would consider very good. (I thought to myself, I could do better than that) (Sorry if that offends anyone in the industry)!!

After that adventure, we decided we would try another club. Same there.... nothing very exciting. I would LOVE to find an upscale club somewhere and go there.

I am by no means an expert, but, You could do the same thing at home. I say you should go with him at least once. See what it is about, see what they do there, and pick up on some moves to help seduce your man. It could be quite exciting for you both!!

Lap dances are not cheating. They don't let you touch, and if it brings him home ready to ROCK N ROLL with you, I say GO FOR IT!!!!!!!!!

I am very seriously doing research on the purchase of a pole to do my own dancing here at home for my husband. He is all for that. Besides, it will be cheaper, and I will get to keep the cash!!!

[myknkyfn]

Use it to your advantage. You are not allowed to touch them there. So I usually come home very Horny.

He is going to want you bad. make him work for it. Trust me he will!

[nosleepnmesa]

I have never believed that a lap dance was "cheating". My husband likes to go to the "HIGH" class strip clubs every now and then. In fact for his birthday I have taken him to a "HIGH" class club where it cost a 40dollar cover charge. This wasn't just a topless club a full nude club. I still to this day am not sure who had more fun him or me. He got what the called a couch dance and so did I. We layed on the couches and WOW by the time we left I think I was more horney then him. If it bothers you or makes you worry have you ever thought of going with him ? Or maybe even trying making your own type of strip club in your bedroom?

I have done that my husband has come home to find our bedroom with chairs and a table up in the room along with me in dancing on the bed like a stripper with the pole from one of my childrens outside toys. I made him pay for the lap dances and all.

Anyway all the strip clubs that my husband and I have gone to the women have been fabulous. In fact one of them would come around every now and then and ask me if the ladies were being nice to me and if I was comfortable and of course if I needed anything to let her know. I have never found anything to be wrong about strip clubs nor have I ever considered it to be cheating I mean my husband doesn't sleep with them he sleeps with me and loves me.

[ae_stowers]

I am just wondering if my husband getting lap dances from other women is considered cheating? Personally, I don't know either way.

My husband is in the military and the strip club always comes up (mostly bc all his friends are single and couldnt get a date if they tried but that is a whole different issue) I let my husband go only if he is with me and only if there are no lap dances... I am kind of a jealous person so seeing or even thinking about another girl on my husband makes heated and not in a good way! That is a really good way to make my southern bitch come out really quick! What it comes down to is what are you comftorable with. I f you say yes he can have a lap dance just to make him happy but really resent it is going to cause problems latter on....