Foolish Or What?

[timidandshy]

Um.. hi. I'm new here. I was refered from a college friend and she recommended this website. Awesome website by the way. Anyways, back to my topic.

I haven't seen my boyfriend for about five days since he just started his college admission and they have some strick requirements on his appearance.

He told me he had to cut his hair and his hair was long, about to his ears and he needed to cut it. He told me he wouldn't cut it short short but the other night

when I seen him, he had like this marine haircut, kinda like an Adam Sandler haircut but a bit shorter. To be honest it freaked me out because when I first met

him his hair was like that (kinda like a ghost from the past but things at that time were sweet and innocent, unlike the huge steps we've taken since our 5 year relationship began). Now, when he and I made love, I felt akward when we were doing it. I'm ashamed to say that I couldn't even look at him, every time

I faced him I had to turn away. I felt like I was cheating on him or felt quilty or something like that. Now when today I talked to him on the phone, he thanked me for the other night but I couldn't really talk about it and acknowledge quickly and refered to a different topic. Now my question here is, am I being foolish or

what is going on. I'm not the type to ask for advice, I'm very shy and timid and so I kindly ask if anyone responds to this topic to bear with me and take it easy on me. So any advice from anyone, thank you very much. Right now, I still feel bad about him Thanks, Shygurl13

[thurisas]

Personally, I'm of two minds on this and I'll explain. The way a person wears their hair can absolutely change the way they look. When you saw him you were expecting him to come back looking one way and he came back looking totally different. Fine, you just need to give yourself time to adjust to the new look. Personally, I let my hair grow out to a couple of inches long and then shave it back to a military hair cut myself.(saves on the cost of hair cuts) My wife has to get re-used to me every time. So in that regards, I think this is a normal recation to a degree. The main thing you have to remember, though, is that while the hair cut has changed, the person is still the same. You've known him for a long time now, you know who he is and hopefully you know who he is has nothing to do with the mop on his head.

Thurisas.

[Tyger]

I agree with Thur here. I don't feel that you should feel like you were cheating on him, since it was the same man you were making love too. Yes, a hair cut can be a drastic change, but it's hair, and it will grow back. His face is still the same, personality is still the same, and, you've even said that you've seen him like that before, so it shouldn't be a total OMG thing. Maybe that's just me.

Was he a bit more subdued in the sexual side of your conversation because there were people around? Is he shy talking about sex with you or with others around? Where being appreciative of making love to your SO is sweet, if he just said "Thank you for the other night" in a more uptight formal way, if that's not the norm, It's rather odd to do, especially since y'all have been together for a bit. It's not like you took him out to eat, or loaned him some money. There's a deeper level there. Unless he felt your reservation, and is feeling weird about the whole thing.

I don't mean to jump around, but, the only way to clear that part of it up, is to talk to him about it.

Just remember, he is going to college, which in itself, can be a life altering experience. People usually grow up there. Tastes mature, people usually get smarter, and become more adult-like. There are pressures all over the place, but in a different way than high school.

Again, just talk with him, and ask him. Really listen to him. And allow him to listen to you too. Give each other time to speak, don't be accusing, and take your time. Best to do this in person, since he seems a bit reserved on what is probably a public pay phone.

[timidandshy]

Personally, I'm of two minds on this and I'll explain. The way a person wears their hair can absolutely change the way they look. When you saw him you were expecting him to come back looking one way and he came back looking totally different. Fine, you just need to give yourself time to adjust to the new look. Personally, I let my hair grow out to a couple of inches long and then shave it back to a military hair cut myself.(saves on the cost of hair cuts) My wife has to get re-used to me every time. So in that regards, I think this is a normal recation to a degree. The main thing you have to remember, though, is that while the hair cut has changed, the person is still the same. You've known him for a long time now, you know who he is and hopefully you know who he is has nothing to do with the mop on his head.

Thurisas.

Okay, thanks so much for the advice, I thought I was just crazy

[timidandshy]

I agree with Thur here. I don't feel that you should feel like you were cheating on him, since it was the same man you were making love too. Yes, a hair cut can be a drastic change, but it's hair, and it will grow back. His face is still the same, personality is still the same, and, you've even said that you've seen him like that before, so it shouldn't be a total OMG thing. Maybe that's just me.

Was he a bit more subdued in the sexual side of your conversation because there were people around? Is he shy talking about sex with you or with others around? Where being appreciative of making love to your SO is sweet, if he just said "Thank you for the other night" in a more uptight formal way, if that's not the norm, It's rather odd to do, especially since y'all have been together for a bit. It's not like you took him out to eat, or loaned him some money. There's a deeper level there. Unless he felt your reservation, and is feeling weird about the whole thing.

I don't mean to jump around, but, the only way to clear that part of it up, is to talk to him about it.

Just remember, he is going to college, which in itself, can be a life altering experience. People usually grow up there. Tastes mature, people usually get smarter, and become more adult-like. There are pressures all over the place, but in a different way than high school.

Again, just talk with him, and ask him. Really listen to him. And allow him to listen to you too. Give each other time to speak, don't be accusing, and take your time. Best to do this in person, since he seems a bit reserved on what is probably a public pay phone.

Your so very right. Cutting a haircut is a drastic change somewhat. I think I overated but the only thing is he seems a bit different, more like a little stern and shy which was never his case only which when we first met, and when he and I 'you know' a coule nights back he was more of on the eager and aggressive side(sorry didn't mention this earlier) during the deed. And seeing his face before I looked away freaked me out because not only did it scare of the new look but also that his haircut was cut that way when he was shy, sweet and so very innocent and that too made things uncomfortable. It was like a ghost but more of a past reminder nightmare. And about the phone conversation he wasn't shy about it, he was more of like a great thank you or something like that and kinda in a sweet and appreciative way So on the phone it wasn't him being weird about it, it was my own that felt akward (and the call was from his house).

[Tyger]

Your so very right. Cutting a haircut is a drastic change somewhat. I think I overated but the only thing is he seems a bit different, more like a little stern and shy which was never his case only which when we first met, and when he and I 'you know' a coule nights back he was more of on the eager and aggressive side(sorry didn't mention this earlier) during the deed. And seeing his face before I looked away freaked me out because not only did it scare of the new look but also that his haircut was cut that way when he was shy, sweet and so very innocent and that too made things uncomfortable. It was like a ghost but more of a past reminder nightmare. And about the phone conversation he wasn't shy about it, he was more of like a great thank you or something like that and kinda in a sweet and appreciative way So on the phone it wasn't him being weird about it, it was my own that felt akward (and the call was from his house).

I don't think you're foolish at all, BTW. I forgot to say that in my original post. Just try and keep in mind that going to college is a big thing for anyone to go thru. Hopefully, he will feel more settled in soon, and conversations can go back to normal!

[timidandshy]

I don't think you're foolish at all, BTW. I forgot to say that in my original post. Just try and keep in mind that going to college is a big thing for anyone to go thru. Hopefully, he will feel more settled in soon, and conversations can go back to normal!

Okay, thank you so much for your help, I'll keep what you in mind and will help him adjust to things and so will I Thank you!

[CGEM]

Yes, you're a bit crazy, but definitely in a positive way. I hope your bf knows how lucky he is to have a girlfriend who has infidelity issues when he changes his haircut. Now, that's what I call commitment.

Good points mentioned above, IMO. Have a nice weekend.