Members whiskeywoman Posted July 5, 2007 Members Report Share Posted July 5, 2007 A co worker of mine and I had a very interesting yet slightly disturbing conversation tonight.While on a smoke break my co worker told me her daughter who is 16 broached the subject of wanting her mom to buy her a vibrator, because she "has needs"Her mom said no because she is still a virgin and feels as though her daughter could not handle an internal toy.Her daughter pushed the issue and said she could, because she was not a virgin, but yet she had never had sex.she claims that tampon use and a boy fingering her has broken her hymen.I tried very hard to assure my co worker that a tampon does not go in far enough or with enough force to break the hymen, nor would a finger.When she wanted to ask more inportant questions such as who had been fingering her and if she even knew what an orgasm was, her daughter shut down and left.I gave her my IM and email and told her that if her daughter would possibly feel more comfortable talking to someone other than mom to give me a shout.So the question is, am I correct in telling mom she is still a virgin or is it time for mom to break a skull?Mom is also concerned allowing her daughter to have a toy will possibly give her girl the "ok" to go out and have sex. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mikayla1 Posted July 5, 2007 Members Report Share Posted July 5, 2007 Many people really have no idea what a hymen is, and assume that it is an unpenetrable barrier that is one, solid piece of tissue - is ISN'T! The hymen is a stretchy piece of tissue that lines the vaginal walls, and it has a tiny hole in it. Why the hole? TO allow your menstrual blood to pass through! Virgins get their periods right? So how would the blood get out if the hymen was solid? The hymen stretches quite a bit, enough to pass a tampon (sometimes with discomfort) - so using a tampon will not erase or "break" the hymen.Now, fingers are another story - as are toys. Items bigger than a small tampon WILL begin to deterioriate the hymen, and thusly, de-virginize the girl. So, depending on how much, deep and with how many fingers this girl has had "fingering" done, she may have ripped her hymen.Now, the debate about fingering, toys, etc. not making the girl a virgin or not is a hot debate. Medically speaking, you are a "virgin" or your body remains in virgin state until your hymen is broken. However, many people believe until you have sex for the first time you remain a virgin! It is personal opinion really.I am of the mindset that if you break your hymen with a toy, you are no longer a virgin. If it breaks on its own, or you use tampons, then you are still a virgin. The fingering thing I would place in the toy category.In any case, this girl is not "innocent" about sex in the slightest if she is getting fingered, she is probabluy having oral too! I would pry into why she wants the toy. Her boyfriend may want her to "break herself in" - and yes, guys do that so they don't get blood on their precious penis or have a sore "first ride." Have her ask the daughter! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tyger Posted July 5, 2007 Report Share Posted July 5, 2007 Discussing sex with your teenager is hard. Finding out he/she has already had sex is probably one of the most hardest things one can deal with! The teenage girl probably shut down cuz her mother, being upset and shocked most likely, came across as mad, judgemental, and over-protective. Combined with a raging hormonal teenage girl, this probably didn't go over that well. Your friend definitely needs to talk with her daughter, and do so calmly, and as nicely as possible. All done while still maintaining her parental role, and not one of a friend. Talking to her openly and honestly, but not trying to scare or act bossy about it will be hard. But it's not impossible. And, since her daughter has had some experience, it needs to be done NOW. Her going off the deep end, while understandable, won't help gain her daughter's trust. In fact, she should make it a positive thing that her daughter felt comfortable enough to ask her. Now, she needs to get back that comfort level.Best wishes! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members alixorn83 Posted August 15, 2007 Members Report Share Posted August 15, 2007 I tihnk you are still a virgin untill you have sex with a guy, becuase you are getting all the emotional side of sex and having a living breathing person inside you is a whole other level than just hainvg a toy or your own fingers. I don't think your first time should be wasted on just some guy . If he cares about you, really cares, getting blood on himself should be the least of his worries. I'd so dump a guy like that Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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