Newbie yummy_mummy Posted August 17, 2007 Newbie Report Share Posted August 17, 2007 I have been reading things on this site for a few days now, and I am still having issues. lolMy husband is very *conservative* in the bedroom, which to me, means he is boring. lol I am trying to come up with ways to make it fun. Seriously, I'm very bored with it. It is always the same position, and the same foreplay. I would not mind trying toys and such as well as different positions. The problem is, he always wants it dark and the same way. although I did light some candles the last time and he liked that. He is slowly learning how to preforn oral better on me, but I can rarely get him to do it. About a year ago, I went to a toy party, and purchased a c-ring with a bullet that is removable. We tried it once, and it didn't do much for either of us, so it has been tucked away in a drawer since then. Last time we had sex, I pulled out the bullet and asked him to try it to get me off (I don't normally get off durring sex anymore). It didn't work like I thought it would. He doesn't even know where my clit is, and I have tried showing him munerous times. I think part of the problem is that I can't even get him to look at my genitals.Any idea? I could sure use some help here. I have read almost all of the articles in the sex education section, and I still don't know what to do. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members thurisas Posted August 17, 2007 Members Report Share Posted August 17, 2007 Is your husband in a religion that views sex as bad? Was he brought up in a very religious family where sex was thought of as a bad thing? I can't imagine not wanting to explore my own wife's body fully and completely. This is a hump that your husband has to get over. You might want to direct him to this site so that he can see that many many people know sex, foreplay, and the human body is a great thing to explore. On the other hand, what have you done for foreplay? Do you play ALL day long, dropping little hints and inuendos? Are you working him up to the event? Also, how are you showing him where your hot spots are? If you have to, masturbate for him and give a little exposition. I don't know about your husband, but if my wife were showing me exactly what to do to make her squirm and scream in pleasure I would be paying attention, taking notes, and doing my best to try it out. Ultimately, though, communication is your key. You have to let him know how you feel. The whole shebang. How you feel about sex, how you want to feel during sex, and how you want him to feel. As has been suggested in the past by other posters, this should be done on neutral ground and you should be setting up rules for the conversation that will enable you to get it all out in the open. I'm sure if you look back through the posts you can find the ground rules which I think have been posted a dozen times or so by Howard. Good luck to you and your husband, I am sure others from the forum will be along to give their own opinions and advice.Thurisas. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tyger Posted August 17, 2007 Report Share Posted August 17, 2007 I totally agree with Thurasis, even if he did actually write "shebang"!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members krisleightate Posted August 17, 2007 Members Report Share Posted August 17, 2007 Thurisas is totally right. And Thurisas why "shebang" ? LMAO Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ShyBear Posted August 17, 2007 Members Report Share Posted August 17, 2007 Was your husband a virgin when you first had sex? You may have mentioned it in a previous post and if so I apologize for asking...but, perhaps he is still nervous and unsure of what, where, and how?Maybe he is uncomfortable in his own skin and that would explain the lowlighting...I can't say for sure...just grasping at straws here. But as the other posters said...help him explore what you like, tell him, show him, lead the way if you need to...it may be uncomfortable for you at first because you may not know how he will respond to being led...it was for me. I am not that agressive, wanna be, but I just am not...lol. The point is, he may just be unsure of what you need and how to give it. Try to be patient...I know it is a hard thing when you have an active, healthy sex drive...I am sure he will get in the groove before you know it....Good Luck, Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members thurisas Posted August 18, 2007 Members Report Share Posted August 18, 2007 Its just an expression I've been using for...well...forever. "The whole shebang." Tyger, I would think you must have heard me use it at least a few times back in High School. Thurisas. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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