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Too Many Fingers


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Ok, I know this another post, But someone out there has got to have some kind of help for me and my husband.

First off I love my husband very much and everything he can and cant do. But I am at my witts end with the fingers. Hes SO good with them and I get off everytime. But when we have "normal" sex, he cant make it past a minute or so. So I kinda loose out on the penile orgasm. Can someone please help me figure something out to where he can last longer? We have tried stopping, and delaying everything but for me to climax it has to constant. Someone please give me some ideas! I am sending out a S.O.S. ( Save Our Sex)

Dionne

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OK, first don't concentrate so much on having that "vaginal / penile" orgasm! If you are having orgasms during foreplay, and they are good orgasms, then this is wonderful. Yes, it would be nice to have an orgasm with him inside you - but first we have to get him lasting longer than a minute.

The average time for a couple to engage in SEX (not foreplay) is anywhere from 5-10 minutes. This time can be greatly improved if some techniques are followed.

Howard has a great jump on this, the withdrawal technique can be very, very effective for many men. Even if his erection weans a bit, it is a good idea NOT to let him reach his pinnacle right away. If he is orgasming in less than a minute, then the very act of entering your pussy might be enough for him. So, have him enter - and withdraw. Then enter and pump a bit, and withdraw.

Conversely, he can enter and NOT MOVE! HOLD STILL. During this time, fondle, kiss, play with your clit to get you closer to your orgasm. However, I would not orgasm with him inside you at this point. When a woman is about to cum her vagina contracts and releases and there is a surge of lubrication with hormones that can cause him to cum quickly. So, until you get this under control, I do not suggest cumming with him inside you.

Another suggestion would be to utilize a cock ring. Not a vibrating couple's ring, but a standard cock ring. You can buy a set from here that has 3 different sizes in it and try it out. A cock ring (when used correctly) inhibits the blood flow from leaving the penis. For many men with ED issues (including premature ejaculation - and under a minute does qualify as premature) a cock ring can be a lifesaver.

What you do is put on the cock ring when your man is semi-hard and make sure the ring goes down the shaft and around his balls. It should not be too tight, but it should be snug enough that he feels himself extra hard. You can keep this ring on for about 15-20 minutes, not longer, and after he cums, take it off.

So, if he gets really hard during foreplay, you have to put it on before he gets totally hard. If your foreplay lasts longer than this time limit, then cut the foreplay a bit shorter, or wait until you have cum and then have him relax his erection enough to use the ring.

Yes, it seems unusual to dictate sex in this way - but to help your man increase his sex time, steps must be taken. Couples sometimes have to take unusual steps to help each other!

Good luck and tell me what more we can do to help!

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  • 3 weeks later...
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Ok, I know this another post, But someone out there has got to have some kind of help for me and my husband.

First off I love my husband very much and everything he can and cant do. But I am at my witts end with the fingers. Hes SO good with them and I get off everytime. But when we have "normal" sex, he cant make it past a minute or so. So I kinda loose out on the penile orgasm. Can someone please help me figure something out to where he can last longer? We have tried stopping, and delaying everything but for me to climax it has to constant. Someone please give me some ideas! I am sending out a S.O.S. ( Save Our Sex)

Dionne

I had the same issue, but always did one position, me on top. I have found that with her on top, I can hold out much longer. I also give her an orgasm orally while using a toy, all the while being hard, so when I do enter, I last much longer. Over time, by doing these two things, I last much longer to the point where she says go and I cum.

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  • 2 weeks later...
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By masturbating to the edge and stopping repeatedly, he can learn to control himself. This stop and start can teach him what point he should be stopping at inside you. A lot of men think only of their orgasms. They do not realize how pleasurable it is to reach that point again and again before letting it go. If I remember correctly there is a section in the Kama Sutra book on this subject. Any articles you may find on men's multi-O will help on this also. While I've not felt this multi-O myself I do know that you can make it last for hours before actually cumming. You can limit his strokes also. By allowing only a few strokes per minute you can delay his peak points. Allow him only long full slow strokes in and out, and if he feels he is going to cum then make him stop. I will tell you that any movement here can set him off so remain still. When he thinks he is back in control he can continue. You may even have to get a bit bossy with him to get your point across. Good luck!

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  • 1 month later...
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so howard why do you feel you need to use the words pussy and cock et when writing to people?

is it just a turn on for you? i mean people are asking important questions and you have to turn it into porn. some people are offended with such replacement words.

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Personally, I don't believe that Howard was trying to sound like he was writing a porn or anything. Just simply using basic terminology to get his point across. Sometimes saying the basic words hits the point across better than writing the "technical" terms. Trust me, knowing Howard's extensive vocabulary of both "crude" and technical words, I bet he could have written that to sound more like a medical journal, than a response to a question. The way he wrote that was, to me, non-offensive, but informative.

And, no, I'm not saying or suggesting that we have "stupid" people here either, just that using big, technical words sometimes looses a person's interest to a response.

Most of us, in fact, do use "pussy, cock, clit, balls" instead of "vagina, penis, clitoris, testicles". It's not like he was personally flirting or hitting on anyone, or trying to talk dirty to them to get off. He was being as basically informative as he can be.

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Sorry about that. I guess yuor right. Tech words end up like a wet dishrag. :(

Its just that when your looking to meetsomeoneas ihave been on this site and youget no response well it left me feelinglike i was getting ignored i have neen writing to mskay and she does not rspond to what meaassages i have left.

then she changes her photo so i dont knwo what sheis lookinfor obviuose not me.

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WONDERFUL HOWARD !! you handle this very well :) good support Tyger thats why I am here because of the closeness that is shared and when there is a lack of communication someone is right there to help out.

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Sorry about that. I guess yuor right. Tech words end up like a wet dishrag. :(

Its just that when your looking to meetsomeoneas ihave been on this site and youget no response well it left me feelinglike i was getting ignored i have neen writing to mskay and she does not rspond to what meaassages i have left.

then she changes her photo so i dont knwo what sheis lookinfor obviuose not me.

I gather you have missed the primary purpose of this site. I have seen very little in the form of hook-ups. That would take away from the educational aspect of this board. I have seen a few of mskay's posts and have never seen any where she says she is seeking a partner. This board is very unique compared to others I have been to. And I hope it never changes. You would be much happier seeking a hook-up on a different site. If you wish to learn from others who have done things you wish to do then this is your place.

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