Members roni Posted August 29, 2007 Members Report Share Posted August 29, 2007 i love to watch porn and so does my bf. but i'm getting worried that it is interfering with our sex..see i love like to watch it then have sex. i find it to distracting while we are in the moment..now my ex wants to watch it while we are doing it, and he will go limp on and up and is on the remote fast forwarding or rewinding it, which is a real mood killer for me. now its getting to the point where he has to have porn on every time we have sex i think we really have better sex without it but i guess he dosen't think so. this is really interfering whit my self confidence also,"big time", like i'm not enough. he is much younger then me and i have a high sex drive..HELP PLEASE !!!!!also i love to try different things in bed while he is the same position man..i try to get him to do new things but i think i might be scaring him away....any suggestion will be greatly appreciated Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members me4now Posted August 29, 2007 Members Report Share Posted August 29, 2007 now my ex wants to watch it while we are doing it, and he will go limp on and up and is on the remote fast forwarding or rewinding it, which is a real mood killer for me. now its getting to the point where he has to have porn on every time we have sex ok is this question re:you and current boy friend or exwhat i would do is tell him how you feel and express your concerns, does he know that you feel this way and if so what is his reaction when you bring to the subject up Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members roni Posted August 29, 2007 Author Members Report Share Posted August 29, 2007 we do have two children together ages 5 and 2 so just walking away is not an option.i love him very much but we are on two different pages when it comes to sex. he is 25 ya i know thats young but we are very much in love.I've always loved sex, never a problem with my ex of 24 yrs but my know bf gives me more climax's then my ex did. even though my ex hub was more into experiments. i don't know what it is but i can cum several times with my now bf but i want more. aren't guys supposed to be hornier at this age or is that just wise tales??HELP PLEASE I WANT TO GET MY KINK ON...... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tyger Posted August 30, 2007 Report Share Posted August 30, 2007 I had this great answer, all done, and it got lost in cyber-space somewhere.....grrrrrr!!OK, here I try again!!I'm all for porn-watching. I love porn. However, I don't NEED porn to help get me off. I don't NEED sex toys to get me off. Porn and sex toys are sexual aides, not total replacements for human contact and excitement. I LOVE using porn and toys as added bonuses to our sex lives. I encourage people to play and have fun. Most women need a little help getting off, and toys are great aides, but still, the need for sexual person-to-person contact is important.Porn can be addictive. This problem can grow and grow, and, I'm not sure of the name for it, but many men can develop issues from watching too much porn, so they can't have sex with real, live women, only the fantasy in the porns will do. Is your BF headed there? Hard to say, but it sounds like that. There are many sites out there that can help see whether or not there may be a problem. Many are religiously based, which is just BS, IMO only! I don't think it's a sin to watch porn. But that's another topic altogether.Of course, not having that problem, and being female, I don't fully "understand that", since, again, I haven't walked in someone's shoes that has that problem. Why can't a guy get off to his woman either in lingerie, or naked, writhing under or on top of him? Especially where men are general more sexually stimulated by what they SEE? Anyway, best wishes! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members HornToad Posted September 3, 2007 Members Report Share Posted September 3, 2007 Well I will admit, I am, was, one of those guys that allowed porn to take me places I should have never been! I think for quite a few of us guys it becomes so desireable to see porn that it takes us away from all the things we should be doing! Like paying attention to our wife! It can create a situation where the guy will never be satisfied with "normal real sex" because he is expecting what is on the porn movies, which is totally un-real! He will demand more and more from his partner in trying to fulfill that desire to do what he see's, and will always feel unfulfilled because it is imposible to do what they stage for the movie. It took me to the next step, which was strip clubs. My then first wife said "it is ok for you to go" but in reality she felt rejected, less than, not good enough, and imposible to please her husband. Sad to say it played a major part in the demise of our 11+ year marriage and split our two children into two houses. It WAS my "wake up call" to bring me back to reality, (and back to Christianity, which is the only power that keeps me away from porn). I am not a prude. I think there are a few guys that do not get "taken in" by the lure of Porn. They are the ones that can take it or leave it. It is NOT all consuming. For me it is. I have to stay away from it. So for your BF I think you could help him by trying to decide if he would be someone taken in by the porn. Sounds to me like he is. You can not fix him. He has to want to change. But you can set down some rules. They can either save your relationship, or break it. Better to find out now, than wait 11+ years. You might have to stay away from porn around him also. (Just like an alcoholic. You can not drink around a recovering alcoholic.) I would say to him that you love him, but not the porn he is paying more attention too. That he needs to put you first over the porn. To stop watching it for a month just to "prove" it is not any real problem. I would not be surprised if you found him sneaking a peak without you knowing during that month. It is hard to break an adiction. For some, a true higher power!I hope this helps. He needs to make you FIRST in his life or show him the door! That's what love is all about, making sacrifices for the ONE we truly love. If he is at all like me, it will not get better, but worse. He needs boundries, rules, and then he will have to decide which is more important to him. A REAL LIVE woman is 100% better than ANY porn movie! He may have to be left for a time to figure that out. Or he may just hop to the next GF. That would be no loss to you, again, better now, than 11+ years from now!HornToad Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members pappyld04 Posted September 22, 2007 Members Report Share Posted September 22, 2007 I am also a great lover of porn and like to masturbate to it either by myself or with my partner. Although I can understand watching it during sex I would never stop to chase a remote or something. I also watch what is happening with us. Every now and then if I see something that I would like to try, I will call it to her attention to it so that she can see what is happening. Since she like to fantasize also she has even done this to me. I do have a suggestion for you though. How about shutting off the video, set up a videa camera, and make your own porno. Not only can you watch on TV, but you have the real thing right in front of you also. All he has to do is look. Even if he still looks up from time to time he is still seeing you. This may help to focus him on paying attention to the sex rather than the films! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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