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Any Tips To Help Me Get My Fiance In The Mood

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We have been together for 5 years now 3 of which we have been sexually involved and we are engaged and have been for a little while now. We have hit a really great comfort level and are happier than ever together. I have noticed though that she does not see to be aroused as easily or as often as she used to. I have tried things like massages, candle lit dinners, bubble baths, and straight out not trying to hard anyone have any suggestions of what I can do to help match our sexual drive?

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Mikayla has written some great articles on mismatched sex drives under the Sex Education tab located on this page just below the Too Timid banner. I might be worth your while to read those.

Unfortunately the plain truth is sex oftentimes diminishes in a relationship as time goes on. Life starts getting in the way, the sex seems less important, and this can flip flop between partners. What really needs to happen is for you both to realize that sex is your time for fun. You should both still be exploring each other as often as you can...teaching each other and learning from one another about what works for you and what doesn't. Find a way to make it exciting for the both of you again. Try to step outside of your comfort levels just a little bit and get adventurous. My wife of 8 years(lover of 12) and I are STILL learning about each other even at this point and I know there are others out there who are still learning about their SO after even a longer period of time.

My biggest piece of advice, though, is to be sure you're not pestering her. The more you push, the farther out of reach your desires may go.


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As Thurasis pointed out, trying small simple things is best. Not pressuring her, or pestering her is also very important. If you keep asking or pestering, she will feel more stress and probably bad about not wanting sex more, which, will make it even harder for her to want it and enjoy it. Sex is adult play. That is what people need to remember. Both sexes. It's not meant to be a chore, or a duty. It's suppose to be a fun, loving, connecting act between 2 people.

Don't just do sweet things for her to get a piece of action, do so because you want too. Women can tell if you're being sweet because you want to or just so you'll get a piece of ass, trust me.

Also, you didn't say how often you do have sex? Men and women, individually, have a different opinion of how much sex is enough. Some women are happy with once a week, as well as some men. Other men, especially younger men (and women), usually want more sex. More and more.

Once a relationship has ended the infamous "Honeymoon Stage", things inevidably calm down, there is a comfort level, and sex isn't so "desperate", if you know what I mean? You know, when you're first dating and having a lot of sex, affirming yourself as a couple, staking a claim. There has to be a reasonable amount of sex in a relationship, but, if one person thinks more, and another thinks less, then, of course, this needs to be addressed. If it's like once a month, well, then, something needs to be said, in a nice way. Teasing, taunting, comparing, or beating around the bush (so to speak) isn't the way to have open-ended communications. I love sex. however, if my hubby is being an ass about not getting some, due to either some medical issue I'm dealing with, or even Aunt Flow, well, then it makes me not want to give it up in any way for him.

Doing things together, as a couple, with no sexual overtones is also important. Going to the movies, going for just a walk, holding hands, sitting on the couch, just to snuggle, with no pressure for sex, or even just taking a nice country drive all can be bonding, stimulate conversations, and, may, but shouldn't be meant to do so, create the opportunity to have some really nice mind-blowing encounters.

I hope that this helps.

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