Members HornToad Posted September 2, 2007 Members Report Share Posted September 2, 2007 Ok, after 2 years of slow patient work, my wife is ENJOYING anal sex! She and I are both ENJOYING fantastic mutual orgasms from anal sex. This has been a great event in our 16 year marriage! (See my other post “anal-eze and how to lead your wife to enjoying anal sex).Here is the problem. My wife is experiencing occasional anal muscle cramps / spasms. She was asleep and had not had anal sex for 5 days and was woken up by intense pain in her rectum / anal sphincters from them clenching, tightening, or like muscle cramping. It IS just like a leg muscle cramp as the muscles tighten, and give pain, and will not loosen for a short time. (Like less than 1 – 3 minutes in duration). We have even been just walking around and she has had this happen to her were she has to stop, and grimace until it passes. This has happened like 1 to 2 times in the past week. Inserting a finger up her rectum and massaging inside it helps it pass and makes her feel much better, (me too if I get to do it) , but it is not easy to do this in public! (She won’t let me for some reason)! Her anus IS very tight while this is happening. It has never happened during our anal sex sessions. Could this be due to our increased weekly anal play? Is her body just getting use to the new intense orgasms she is recently experiencing from the anal sex? She has not been this active in YEARS! Orgasming once a month was more than enough for her in the past. Now it is once a week). Should we stop the anal sex? (We hope NOT!)She has said she HAS had these anal muscle cramps in the past, and does not want to stop having our anal sex. Could this be a serious problem though? She is a physically fit, drop dead gorgeous 49 year young blond buxom, best friend / wife, female, if that helps. (One of the few who LIKES anal sex too!) I cherish her too much to want to hurt her, or see her hurt, even if she does like the anal sex! Thank You all for your thoughts.HornToad Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members cdwaldorf Posted September 2, 2007 Members Report Share Posted September 2, 2007 I use to get intense anal cramping when I could feel my orgasm build up. It usually happend right after an amazing orgasm and I would cramp for a few minutes. It was quite painful. I noticed that right before my orgasms I would tense up (I guess I was trying to hold it off). I would force myself to relax and fall into the orgasm and this has helped. It has been a long time since I have had any anal cramping.Your wife's situtation is a little different. I wonder if she is thinking about the pleasure she receives in anal sex and her body just responds. I wouldn't recommend that you stop but you may want to slow down a little bit. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mikayla1 Posted September 3, 2007 Members Report Share Posted September 3, 2007 Just like any muscle in your body, your anal spinchter is also a muscle. Since she is having orgasms with anal sex (which not every person does) she is using her muscles to their FULL potential. What is basically happening is she is having anb experience similiar to what happens when you first start working out. The muscles have to adjust to the use. You do use your anal muscles when you have a bowel movement, but minimally. When you orgasm however, those muscles get TIGHT and release, just like the vaginal muscles. SO, what do you do about it? First, do Kegels. Kegels exercise the anal and vaginal muscles. This will keep her toned and help to keep the muscles working. Second, after anal sex make sure she takes time to relax and unclench her muscles. Have her do deep breathing and just take some moments to relax. Third, make sure you are using lubrication and having safe anal sex. The lubrication has to do with the friction factor. Think of it as a well oiled gym machine.As far as stopping anal - no, I do not think you have to stop. I also think it has nothing to do with the frequency. I think she just has to get more used to the use of her anal muscles. Now, if this continues and she can not release the muscles - you may have to consult a doctor. However, I have had this pain, and I believe that she will be just fine! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mikayla1 Posted September 3, 2007 Members Report Share Posted September 3, 2007 Howard, I think you misunderstood - if I understand correctly, her anus is not staying OPEN, but instead her muscles are contracting HARD and she is having pain like a charley horse! This is no uncommon when anal sex is first had - as I explain in my post, once the muscles get used to this new kind of orgasm, her anus will condition itself and the pain will stop. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members elise Posted September 19, 2007 Members Report Share Posted September 19, 2007 Another technique that might help her anal spasms resolve would be to bear down as if trying to have a bowel movement. This causes a reflexive relaxation of the anal sphincter. When I first started having purely anal orgasms from anal sex alone (i.e., no clitoral or vaginal stimulation, just my husband thrusting in my ass) I would get spasms after we were done. Bearing down would ease the spasm quickly. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members HornToad Posted September 20, 2007 Author Members Report Share Posted September 20, 2007 Thank You ALL so much for your help. My wife seems to be having less and less of the spasam's. We will try your solutions if they should re-occur!HornToad Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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