Stuck With Missionary For Life?

[mlynnc]

This is my first post on here - so let me introduce myself.

I am a 21 year old female who has been in a steady relationship for over 4 years.

My partner and I have an active sexual life - we have explored MANY different positions, toys, etc!

My biggest problem is - I can only orgasm when in the missionary position, and have pressure on my clit.

My orgasms are the best when my partner is on top, but I am capable of driving myself to orgasm when I am on top.

I am so bored of having to pull him from behind me (or wherever he is) and put him on top, so I can climax. My sex drive is dying, because it's not.... fun?

I want to be able to climax in ANY position - It makes me feel incompetent. Sex would be so much more exciting if it wasn't so plain-jane for me.

Any advice would be great Thanks in advance!

[Mikayla1]

I don't this to sound stupid, but....have you thought of just fingering yourself when you are in other positions? Your issue with Climax is that you need clitoral stimulation - no big deal, 80-85% of ALL women need that to climax. The wonderful thing about that is, you can give yourself (or your partner can) clitoral stimulation in almost any position! You can use your fingers or a mini-vibe - either way, you can have your O in any position!

Please do not say you do not want to touch yourself to get your "O" - cause honey, that is just old fashioned talk! We women need to take back our orgasms in any way we can! If it is your man who says you can't touch yourself -tell him to hush up and touch YOU! Either way you look at it, if you need that clitoral stim, you need it. Get off your back and into other positions!

[mlynnc]

No, I dont think you sound stupid.

I have thought about it - I'll kick my partner's ass into gear and get HIM to do it! You're right!!!

I wish I could hear from someone who had personal stories/experiences similar to my problem. EG - the positions they use and what they do with their hands to keep pressure/stimulation on their clit.

Also - Im not sure if Ive ever had a G-spot orgasm... are there beginner ways of doing so? and if I need clit stimulation for the big O - is it possible to accomplish the G-O before the clit O? Hahaha :)

[mlynnc]

What are good positions to try/do if either myself or my partner need to stimulate my clit?

[kitkatty]

I would personally discover how to make yourself orgasm, with hand or toys. I use both. Then your SO should learn how to make you orgasm as well, he might need to come to this board and read because you can learn a lot from these experts.

[Mikayla1]

Well, any position you can reach your clit in you can stimulate yourself! You on top, man on top, doggy style, yiou can always find a way to stimulate yourself.

If it is more convienient for him to do it - let him! Having your man fingering you during sex is SOOOOOO sexy and erotic. Just do what feels good to you - and teach him how to do it also. This is so important for women to know. Having sex is about pleasure - giving and receiving - and sometimes we need a little extra help. In this respect, teaching your man your "hot spot" is the best way to give yourselves the best sexual experience!

[foryoureyesonly]

This isn't really "advice" but I had to relate a "what happened to me" story. This past w/end, the DH and I had a very nice romantic little get away. Stayed in a very nice hotel that provided HBO. Years ago we used to watch the show "Real Sex" and really enjoyed it so we were pleasantly surprised to find it on one night. One thing led to another and things started getting hot. My DH begins to play with my clit and instead of rubbing in circles as usual, he applies direct hard pressure without moving his finger around. Lo and behold, and to my great delight, I lit up like the fourth of July and off I went. He has never tried this before and I'm not sure what possessed him to try it that night, but, thank the good Man above he did. He tried it again the next day, but it didn't work the same and actually was quite uncomfortable. It was back to the light circular motion.

Anyway, I guess the moral to the story is orgasming can take different things on different nights to accomplish. You are severely limiting yourself if you can only get off in one position. I found it easier to figure out the "how" by playing alone first then teaching my DH what works and what doesn't. Toys can be a huge help in this because there aren't too many positions that you can get into that you can't use some toy to move the process along. I was never able to orgasm doggy style with intercourse alone. And, on top of that, I am not a petite woman, so it was hard to reach the clit in this position. Out came the vibrator and, may I say, WOW. Cowgirl? it takes a cock ring with a mini bullet, and HELLO! Reverse cowgirl? the DH's finger works every time. Missionary? a small bullet. You get the idea. Very few women can orgasm through intercourse alone (Mikayla, I am soooo jealous of you!). It takes a little ingenuity and creativity, but it is possible, it may just take a different route than you are used to. Start thinking outside the box and it can be accomplished. Good luck to you.