Confused

[Sunshine Sam218]

I sometimes get confused about my sexuality from time to time. I'm mainly attracted to men but I always find myself attracted to girls on the porn I watch. I love my boyfriend to death and I could never see myself leaving him for a woman. It just messes with my head sometimes, it doesn't scare me the fact I find them attractive I just sit back and wonder why it is that woman find other woman so fascinating.

Before I met my boyfriend I had one experience with another woman, we kissed and she felt me up. The whole experience was nice, in the end she ended up wanting to date me. I told her from the start that I always wanted to try it, but no strings attached.... All woman get curious and want to try different things. I'm always willing to try different things, I'm just not sure if I would try it again in the long run. I'm very faithful to my boyfriend and even if he asked me for a girl to join I would refuse too. I wouldn't be comfortable with doing that with or without him. I sometimes think to myself the reason why I'm so curious is cause I was.... I'm not sure if it's okay to say this on the forum.. so I'll just say I had something happen to me when I was a kid. It has stuck with me since.... it's messed with my head and I never felt comfortable being open about it until I met my boyfriend. I talked to him about it and he isn't worried just kinda left in the dark I guess cause I never talked about it with him before. I have the tendency of keeping things bottled in and ignoring it. Then in the end making myself upset over nothing.

I hope understands. I know other people are more open about things than others, I've always been the one to be hush hush about things cause I always worry what others will think about me. I have bad self esteem and each day I always try to do things to make myself feel good about myself. Then someone says something and I take it the wrong way and I back to feeling bad all over again. In the end I just hope someone can try to help me out the best they can. Wow, it feels so good getting thing all out in the open, I've held this in for so long.

[ToyQueen]

Samma Bear,

You can pretty much say anything you want to say on this forum, as long as you are respectful of the others on here. If you want help from someone, you have to be able to tell us what the problem is.

I think a lot of women are turned on by the women in porn videos. That is normal. I wouldn't worry about it.

If you are trying to tell us that you were abused when you were younger, you are not alone. If you have not dealt with it, you need to seek counseling. Those feelings don't go away just by ignoring them. You need to be a survivor, not a victim.

I know others will have help to offer. Just my two cents.

[Tyger]

Feel free to be as open & honest as you feel comfortable here on the forum, again, so long as you're respectful.

It's pretty normal to be attracted to women if you're a woman. Porn stars get PAID to look and act sexy. They're PAID to be sex objects. It's also normal to be attracted to a woman you may know, or one you just see on the street. You may be bi-curious, or just would like one full experience with a woman. When to question your sexuality, is if you start thinking more and more about women, and not getting as turned on by a man.

Being bi, gay, or lesbain isn't a "bad" thing. People don't choose their sexuality. However, I would strongly caution you against a 3-some. Read the 3-some forum, see how others have handled them. Actually participating in a 3-some, and having your relationship survive it, takes an extremely self-confident and strong relationship on BOTH sides.

It's also normal to fantasize about having a 3-some. if you don't feel TOTALLY comfortable with it, or have doubts, DON'T do it.

Best wishes!

[pappyld04]

Now you know why we love women so much! I ran across an article last night about a research project involving strippers and the amount of money they make. "They say that women appear to be endowed with extra physical allure when they are at their most fertile. It is highly possible that estrogen modulates motion abilities. It seems to be the body motion - not pheromones- is the signal carrier." I assume that most women would be able to pick up on these subtle things probably better than men do. I doubt that science will ever be able to clearly define the laws of attraction. I doubt anyone here would find it unusual that you find you are intrigued at the idea. As for your childhood I would really urge you to find someone who can help you with this. Rarely, if ever, would a person be able to just get over something such as this. Many will say they have but they are basically being torn apart by the confusion and whatever else is associated with this type of problem. The hardest part of any problem is recognizing it as a problem and then finding someone who can help you to work things out. I say "work things out" because I do not think anyone really ever gets over it. They find ways to deal with it. I hope you can find the help that you need to deal with this issue. You will be a better person for it!!!

[Sunshine Sam218]

I appreciate all your help.

I clear up what I meant in the post. I was just afraid of what I could say in this forum and what I can't say. I was sexually molested as a child by my father. I sought help for it when I was a child. Then as I got older, I had trouble with relationships, friendships and feeling depressed. I told my mother when I was younger how depressed I was and it was hard to talk to her about it. Anytime I brought it up to her, she just thought I was going through changes in my life as being a woman and said it would all pass. Later on it got worse and then I ended up getting some help. I talked to a therapist for some time but it last very long... my mother couldn't afford it. So I just ended up writing in my journal a lot and writing really has helped me out. I'd still like to talk to a therapist, I'm just worried about the whole money issue. I want to be able to pay for it and afford to pay my rent, electric, the water, etc.. I'm continuing to look though.

As for my sexuality I'm sure it'll all work out. I talked to my boyfriend about it last night and he said he'll still love me if I'm curious about that kind of thing. I'm glad he's understandable about my feelings. I'm really relieved now that I got it all and was open about it with him. Now he's goofing around with me about and asking me what girl I find attractive. Then he tells me which girls he finds cute. I'm glad we can be like that with one another. I don't think I'd try a threesome though with him but I guess that could change too.

I'd love to thank you again for all your advice.

Sam-xoxo

[Kinky Twinkie]

I appreciate all your help.

I clear up what I meant in the post. I was just afraid of what I could say in this forum and what I can't say. I was sexually molested as a child by my father. I sought help for it when I was a child. Then as I got older, I had trouble with relationships, friendships and feeling depressed. I told my mother when I was younger how depressed I was and it was hard to talk to her about it. Anytime I brought it up to her, she just thought I was going through changes in my life as being a woman and said it would all pass. Later on it got worse and then I ended up getting some help. I talked to a therapist for some time but it last very long... my mother couldn't afford it. So I just ended up writing in my journal a lot and writing really has helped me out. I'd still like to talk to a therapist, I'm just worried about the whole money issue. I want to be able to pay for it and afford to pay my rent, electric, the water, etc.. I'm continuing to look though.

As for my sexuality I'm sure it'll all work out. I talked to my boyfriend about it last night and he said he'll still love me if I'm curious about that kind of thing. I'm glad he's understandable about my feelings. I'm really relieved now that I got it all and was open about it with him. Now he's goofing around with me about and asking me what girl I find attractive. Then he tells me which girls he finds cute. I'm glad we can be like that with one another. I don't think I'd try a threesome though with him but I guess that could change too.

I'd love to thank you again for all your advice.

Sam-xoxo

If you want to try a 3 some, it best to do it when your not in a relationship. That my advice on the subject, and I think everyone gets curious about the act although they might not be attracted to the person specifically. I have scene a bi flick and got turned on by the act although not the guy. However there was a woman in the action that was involved. The man to man thing by itself didn't do it but it did when she was involved in the action.

Does that make sense?

Glenn

[Sunshine Sam218]

Yes it does.

I've grown to close to my boyfriend now to be able to do a threesome. I'm engaged to him and I wouldn't want to mess anything up. I'm in love with him. I'm just glad he knows of the fact that I find woman attractive and that I have fantasize about them from time to time.

[pappyld04]

It is great that you are able to communicate with your lover. That in itself is hard for some couples to do. Fantasies do not always have to become reality. There is absolutely nothing that can stop you from having them and wondering about them. Whatever you choose as a sexual preference will have no bearing on you as a person. Do not let others decide these matters for you or you will be living a miserable existance. And life is too short to live that way. You do whatever makes you happiest!!!

[Sunshine Sam218]

Thanks pappyld04!

I'm sure whatever I decide I'll be at my happiest.

[dazzleme]

I'm so glad you've been able to find someone to talk about your deeper more private feelings, so happy for you.

I don't think there is anything wrong with being attracted to women, I for one appriciate the beauty of a female and love watching porn with women, it doesn't make me "weird" or bi or anything of the sort. I love men, I need men and I adore MY man and have no plans on "switching sides" but it doesn't make me or you any different or weird to be able to appriciate a beautiful woman.

Previous to my boyfriend, my ex-husband made me feel weird and wrong about some of my personal fantasy's.....in fact he made me feel like the worlds strangest person because I actually enjoyed...eeeek! Porn! and felt like I was always needing sex (imagine that...a guy being concerned over the fact I like and enjoy sex...ALOT)

Finding someone you can share your deepest thoughts and feelings is a true joy and treasure! I love being able to sit with my BF and tell him who I find attractive and who I don't and even joke about "doing them" or whatever without feeling like a freak or weirdo for doing that. I do the same thing with looking at a hot man as well so I just plainly enjoy men AND women in this world...nothing at all wrong with that!

[Lacey607]

Personally, If i look at a naked man and a naked woman... I definitely will admit that women have much more beautiful bodies. =o) its true... i'm not a lesbian, i just think women are better looking over all physically.