Still Not Prego!

[cwgrltinkerbell21]

Hello again Too Timid!!! 1st I wanna say that you guys are alot of help!!! We are doing the "training" for my hubby and his contol issues, they are helping. Slow but in progress. Thanks alot! I hope someone knows something about this

We are still having problems getting prego. I am keeping a diary of sex days/nights, ovulation days and end of cycle days and all that stuff. Now for the question. I dont know if this is normal or not but is it normal for some of the cum of come out of me afterwards? It seems that everytime we do, it all comes back out. I know I have posted before about "tightness" issues, but could this be possible or is there other issues? We really cant afford a fertility specialist so we are trying everything we know how to all the way to old wives tales... Someome, anyone... Please help. I have 2 other children. But what other problems could there be?

[Tyger]

Yes, it is normal for your body to expel the cum afterwards but not like contractions, it just comes out, sometimes a bit more sticky than when it went in, due to your body's natural defenses attacking the foriegn substance, and trying to kill it, and for it to leak out. After all, what goes in, must come out! It's not like it's absorbed into your body, since, as I mentioned, your body thinks of "jism" as something that is attacking your body, and it must get rid of it.

If you stress out too much about becoming pregnant, and are healthy, you may be stressing yourself out, which can affect ovulation. I would definitely call an OB/GYN, and let the doctor know about your plans on becoming pregnant, issues, and concerns you may have. Just trying to conceive a couple of months really isn't a long time to try. Usually, once you have a child, you become more fertile, but, for some women, I have heard that it cuts down on fertility, depending on health issues.

I have a friend that has 2 kids, spaced 6 yrs apart, and due to endometriosis (sp?), which is internal scarring, she is extremely INfertile. She hasn't used birth control in 8 years, and her and her hubby only have the 2 kids. So, it all depends on your health, as well as your husband's. If he's stressed, tired, or overweight/unhealthy in general, his sperm count may be low too.

You may find that the less you really worry about it, the easier you MAY become pregnant (again, depending on your health).

After having 2 kids, you should know a bit more than just wive's tales. If your OB/GYN from the past pregnancies and deliveries wasn't informative, then I would highly suggest finding a different one that will help you and answer your health questions. We are NOT medical professionals here, so, please understand that all of our responses, are, in fact, opinions, experiences, and POV's. We are NOT a replacement for medical advice.

Best wishes!

[Mikayla1]

I agree, ask your OBGYN for more specific ideas / suggestions. However, I do have some insight. When most women ovulate, they excrete a sort of thick, mucus-like discharge. SOme more than others. This, along with a basal body temperature, will confirm that you are ovulating. What I would do is this: When you know approximately when you are ovulating (you can even go online, google ovulation schedule and there is a little calculator that can tell you a 3-day range) - anyway, have sex EVERYDAY during that week. 2 days before ovulation, 3 days during, and 3 days after. You can not possibly miss ovulation during this time. Then, when you have sex, make sure that he is ejaculating DEEP inside you, and that you are cumming as well. Experts agree, that you can increase your chances of pregnany significantly if you are orgasming during his ejaculation. do whatever it takes, fingering yourself, a toy on your clit - whatever - but when you orgasm, your contractions force the ejaculation up inside you, thereby increasing your odds. then, do not have him take his cock out right away, keep it in until it gets soft, then place your feet on the wall behind your bed and put pillows under your bottom so that gravity forces the ejaculation up into your cervical area!

Now, not every month you may ovulate - there can be times when you don't. SOme women only have one ovary that expels eggs - so give it a few months. This is the best advice I can give - and I can say that it has gotten 3 of my friensds pregnant (one twice) and myself as well!

Good luck! And remember, relax and have fun - stress is a real killer to trying to get pregnant!

[LoveGoddess]

Ok, I can't diagnose what is happening over the computer. But as a midwife, women's health nurse, and sex counselor I can offer you some general advice, as well as correct some anatomy and physiology myths.

1) you do not need to see an infertility specialist at this time, but talking with your GYN, nurse practitioner, or midwife can offer some tips based on your ovulation diary and timing of sex. Also they can make sure you don't have any medical reason for your "secondary infertility". Young women typically don't have egg supply problems, but they can have endometriosis which can block the tubes, or scar the ovaries, or they can have pelvic infections (chlamydia is most common as it does not always have symptoms) which can scar your fallopian tubes.

2) For timing of sex you want to estimate the most likely day you are going to ovulate and then 2-3 days before that date start having sex, and continue Every Other day until 2-3 days after that date. Sperm are in a constant state of formation and it takes about 72 hours to fully mature a sperm cell. If your man ejaculates every day then he will use up all his mature sperm and that could effect the quality of the swimmers and those sperm needed to break down the outer covering of the egg. It is not the semen that creates the enzyme that breaks down the covering around the egg, but an enzyme that is found in the head of a mature sperm. So if you have low numbers, or immature sperm this too can affect your chances of getting pregnant. Sperm can live for 3-5 days inside you...I will repeat that...THREE TO FIVE DAYS inside you. The egg can only live for 12 hours. So you have 1/2 a day to time your sex right. Or, you can make sure there are lots of "troops" waiting to receive the queen when she arrives. My recommendations are to have sex every other day That way you will always have good mature 'strong swimmers' arriving, just as some of the first wave are starting to fade out.

3) When a woman gets excited during sex her vagina DEEEP inside, begins to bulge, forming a little pool that will catch the sperm that misses the opening to the uterus. The pool bulges on the tailbone side, not the pubic bone side, so missionary position is key for what we will discuss next. The muscles in your pelvis start to tighten and lift the uterus up. When you have an orgasm, that release you feel is all those muscles relaxing and dropping the uterus and cervix directly into that pool. Now, when your man cums, it is instinctual for him to thrust deeply and hold that position for an instant as he cums (its one of the reasons the withdrawal method of birth control is SOOOO hard.) With that final thrust the tip of his penis is directly against the opening of your cervix, and the majority of the sperm go directly inside, the rest pool in that nice concave spot in your vagina where the cervix is acting like a wick, or a straw, drawing up all the leftover fluid. The other very cool thing that happens during female orgasm is that the entrance of your cervix opens slightly and stays that way for 20-30 minutes after orgasm. So, the contractions your feel after your O do not force the sperm up there, but the release just gets everything in place.

4) As far as the goo that drips out later, don't worry about it, seminal fluid is not going to swim anywhere, it only acts to protect the sperm from your "hostile vagina" and to give the sperm food for the journey. If you don't come at the same time, don't worry, diddle yourself, or have him do it afterwards. Also, aside from catching your breath, or cuddling, you won't get any further benefit by having him stay inside you afterwards, once the sperm is out, its out. The only change to the sexual position I will tell you, is that if you have ever been told you have a "tipped uterus" then doggy style is your best bet, as when you have an orgasm, the cervix is going to point and drop towards the pubic bone, not the tailbone.

Hope this helps. Good luck

[pappyld04]

IMO people tend to think that sex is mostly about procreation. If you are only having sex to get pregnant it may take a bit to get everything timed perfectly. Stop worrying and start enjoying. If you make regular visits to your GYN I'm sur ethey would tell you if there were cause for concern. If a baby is truly wanted by both I don't think stressing about it will improve the odds. I do hope that you have assured that you are both healthy at least!

[Bugs0825]

WOW

thanks a bunch LoveGoddess

That was more informative than all the sites that I have visited. My wife and I have an 8 year old and she has been off BC since he was 3 months old. We did have 2 miscarriages. She has been told that her uterus is tipped so we will try the doggy style. My wife is about 9 days late now so I just bought a test tonight so i'm hoping.

I didn't mean to steel your post cwgrltinkerbell21, but I know exactly how you feel.

Hoping for a +

bugs

[LoveGoddess]

WOW

thanks a bunch LoveGoddess

That was more informative than all the sites that I have visited.

You are most Welcome Bugs. I hope things work out for you both.

[synirr]

I sure hope the advice LoveGoddess gave helps you, I sure know I learned a few new things from her! Everytime I learn something new about sex and sexuality, it simply amazes the hell out of me....and THIS from Love Goddess...WOW...women's bodies are so COOL!!!

And how! Thanks so much for the info LoveGoddess, very cool