Newbie jcl3000@yahoo.com Posted December 21, 2007 Newbie Report Share Posted December 21, 2007 I have been married twice and have three wonderful children. I am recently divorced and have met a new friend at a class that I took at the local college. The problem is that I seem to be extremely attractive to her. This is very confusing for me, since I have never felt this way about any other woman ever. What is going on!!! Please explain this to me and help me get unconfused. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Newbie jcl3000@yahoo.com Posted December 21, 2007 Author Newbie Report Share Posted December 21, 2007 Post divorce emotions are usually all over the place. No matter how amiable, or even acrimonious a divorce is, it knocks the feathers out of you. You can be expected to find yourself attracted to anyone who seems " nice " to you, no matter what sex they are. That does not make you gay, or " Bi ", or anything but someone who hasn't really dealt with the terrible feelings of betrayal, and loss of hope and dreams when a marriage ends. Most colleges have counseling offices, which offer free services to students. Check into what is available through the college, and find someone to talk through your feelings. If you have been heterosexual up to this point in your life, I highly doubt that you are just now going to find out that you really have been " Gay " all along. Best Wishes. Howard thanks Howard -- your answer makes alot of sense. jmac Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Newbie jcl3000@yahoo.com Posted December 21, 2007 Author Newbie Report Share Posted December 21, 2007 thanks howard your response makes a lot of sense Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tyger Posted December 21, 2007 Report Share Posted December 21, 2007 Also remember that a divorce (or 2) really opens your eyes to what YOU want. You are now a bit "free-er" to do what you please, explore new things, and be a bit more selfish with YOUR time. You're free to go where you want, when you want, and do stuff that you may not have even entertained the thought of while married.You can't help who you're attracted too. You may NOT be "bi" or "gay". You may honestly be attracted to this woman, just because of who they are, and chemistry. Just because it's always been a man that's flipped your twinkie in the past, well, that's chemistry too. Now you've possibly found a woman that just does something for you. Chemistry can't be helped. You only live once, and why waste it going, "What if I had done....."? Find out who you are, what you want, and have some fun. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members hollybw Posted December 21, 2007 Members Report Share Posted December 21, 2007 This is a very interesting topic for me because I know a woman very close to me who was married for 25 years and was always heterosexual. Soon after divorcing, a lesbian friend of hers became more than a friend, and they have now been living together for about 5 years. This woman has NEVER been happier, and still claims to not be gay. What do you all make of that?? I think its wonderful for ANYONE to find an honest, fulfilling, loving relationship no matter who it is with, even if it's an unlikely pairing... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tyger Posted December 21, 2007 Report Share Posted December 21, 2007 Let me also say, with NO INSULT MEANT towards men at all here, but women tend to be a bit more "loving" than men do, and more sympathetic to other women's plights. So, if you have a female friend that's supporting you emotionally, and you love this woman, well, women associate sex WITH love & love WITH sex, and crave the feeling of closeness. How much closer can you get if you have sex with each other? Women feel the need to share themselves physically. So, it's really not shocking to be attracted to a friend that's supported you for a long time/thru a major traumatic event.As far as the lady that says she's not gay even though she is with a lesbain, that could be true. Again, see my first response. The explanation? CHEMISTRY. She probably means that just because she's with THIS woman, doesn't mean that she'd go into another relationship with a different woman in the future (if this one ends). I've seen a few of these sorts of relationships too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members hollybw Posted December 21, 2007 Members Report Share Posted December 21, 2007 Thank you, Tyger! I believe that is exactly what it is. I really do not believe the person I was speaking of is gay, she just loves THIS woman. I have always thought that is exactly what happened: emotional support turned into unexpected feelings and then, a love relationship.And I don't see anyone leaving anytime soon! They are in their 50's, hermits, and just seem to enjoy each other and taking care of their animals! I think it's great! They're happy! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Amylynn920 Posted December 21, 2007 Members Report Share Posted December 21, 2007 Thank you, Tyger! I believe that is exactly what it is. I really do not believe the person I was speaking of is gay, she just loves THIS woman. I have always thought that is exactly what happened: emotional support turned into unexpected feelings and then, a love relationship.And I don't see anyone leaving anytime soon! They are in their 50's, hermits, and just seem to enjoy each other and taking care of their animals! I think it's great! They're happy!I think it's great for them too. I hate labels. They are in a happy, loving relationship. And that's all that matters. I don't think love knows labels. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members pappyld04 Posted December 21, 2007 Members Report Share Posted December 21, 2007 Maybe she is just saying that she's just not happy, who knows. It's not really for us to say how she defines her sexuality or her life. The label "gay" would mostly be for those who are only attracted to the same sex so perhaps that is not the way she sees herself. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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