I'm Not Sure What's Happening But I Can't Climax

[Amylynn920]

My husband and I had our special date night last night. We had been on hiatus for a week, his penis was raw from too much sex so he had to heal.

He was perfect, absolutely perfect. I however was not. I don't know what's going on with me. I'm constantly turned on to him. I just can't come. No matter what. It was ridiculous. This is happening so often lately.

Last night was so much great foreplay. Nipple stimulation which I love. Then he did manual for at least 30 minutes with Gspot play. Then we switched from him stimulating me manually where I was ready to come but it just went away, to more kissing and I continued on with more oral for him. Which he loves and doing that for him and seeing how much he loves it gets me extremely excited.

Then he went back to manual with me. And again close, but then it went away.

Then I went back again for more oral to him. He wanted to come so we switched to intercourse. Again I got close but just couldn't get over the edge. What is wrong with me? Why do I have such a hard time coming?

I thought long and hard about it and when he's manually playing with me I keep thinking I'm taking too long, which he never complains about doing for me, and then I feel like I'm neglecting him so I focus on his pleasure. Then I lose mine.

I love doing oral on him, I know he loves it, and I get excited but certainly can't come from giving it to him. I just don't know what to do. This is becoming an ongoing thing with me. I am so turned on to him I just can't get over the edge.

I just don't know what to do. Manual, intercourse, manual gspot stimulation nothing is working for me.

I'm going nuts. I know what men feel when they say blue balls. I was again so frustrated that I went in the bathroom and cried.

[Tyger]

I'm sorry you're going thru this. And, if you're healthy, then, IMO it sounds as if you're stressing yourself out by "taking too long to cum". Women don't have a set time frame as to when they "should" cum. There's no minute limit, or "you should be cumming in a matter of......minutes". That's a bunch of BS. Each person is different.

No matter who you are, and how fast/slow you USUALLY cum, there are always differences, and different circumstances. I would not stress about it much. Just try and relax, take deep breaths, and go with the feeling. Try really hard not to let other thoughts intrude on your pleasure. Different things can make your mind go off on a tangent that you're aware of and have to try really hard to shut up. LOL Overthinking the orgasm, being tired, not fully getting over a fight, stressing over bills, being excited about being in a new place, or scared of being heard/caught, worrying that you may hurt him again, all can factor in the inability to have your O happen.

I think Duran Duran sang the song RELAX, and it's definitely a song to live by!!

Good luck!

[pappyld04]

It sounds as if your partner is very attentive and loving towards you. I wonder if maybe a toy may help. I'm sure he would be willing to help in any way.

[Mikayla1]

Aiden,

Has anything changed recently? New medicines? Stresses? Partner mentioned something? If not, and you are healthy like Tyger suggests, then I wonder if you are just pressuring yourself too much. The mind is the most powerful sexual organ we have, and if we are laying there thinking, "I am not going to cum. Why am I not cumming? This is taking too long...." then we are NOT going to cum. Believe you me, even me (with the ability to cum quickly in most situations) has a troubling time every so often. It is mind over matter - or mind not on the matter actually.

I think that you may want to try a few techniques. First, you mentioned that you were on sex hiatus - was that for solo play too? Women and men have this unique psysiological phenomenon where the mosre sex we have, the more we want, and the easier we are aroused.

Can you, under most circumstances, climax easily when you masturbate? If so, then I suggest you spend a little more time in solo play. Get your body primed and ready to climax. Use fingers, toys, water - whatever you like and become reaquainted with your body. Read my article on masturbation and orgasm. You may get some good ideas for solo play and couple play.

It does seem like your partner wants to please you - so concentrate on that. Take your time - allow him to do his thing -breathe and concentrate not on the clock, but on pleasure! Just do what you can and try to take the worries away.

[Amylynn920]

Good news! I'm not broken

This afternoon we had a leisurely 45 minutes. No distractions. No cat asking to be let out of the room. No child needing me. Nothing but me and him.

And it wasnn't planned which was great.

I had the most intense, mindblowing satisfying orgasm I've had in a long time.

What did it? The sparkly egg and doggie. Yep it was wonderful.

Thank you to all of you.

And yes I think it was just a matter of relaxing and no distractions.

And no while on hiatus, no solo play, I wanted it to be super hot when we got back together. And it was. Maybe I was just overstimulated too.

Anyways thanks all. I think I just need to keep using toys during our times. I found that they really make the difference for me. I have to have clitoral stimulation somewhere to come.

[Nuri]

Good news! I'm not broken

This afternoon we had a leisurely 45 minutes. No distractions. No cat asking to be let out of the room. No child needing me. Nothing but me and him.

And it wasnn't planned which was great.

I had the most intense, mindblowing satisfying orgasm I've had in a long time.

What did it? The sparkly egg and doggie. Yep it was wonderful.

Thank you to all of you.

And yes I think it was just a matter of relaxing and no distractions.

And no while on hiatus, no solo play, I wanted it to be super hot when we got back together. And it was. Maybe I was just overstimulated too.

Anyways thanks all. I think I just need to keep using toys during our times. I found that they really make the difference for me. I have to have clitoral stimulation somewhere to come.

Wow, really glad to hear it. I read the original post on your profile and felt really badly for you. As I read the thread I wondered what would happen next. Sure glad that all worked out.