Newbie countrygirlnc Posted January 29, 2008 Newbie Report Share Posted January 29, 2008 Ok, with my current partner the sex is great, really, no complaints. Just a question for you guys. My man gives great oral, and I let him know, loudly! He seems to enjoy himself as well, and makes comments on how good I taste, how soft, etc.... My question is if he likes it so much how come he has only gone down there 3 times in our 7 month relationship? Yes I reciprocate. I give him oral at least 3 to 4 times a week if not more, I love it. Do I ask him why? I mentioned for him to go down on me during sexual play and he just starts other things. Whats up? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tyger Posted January 29, 2008 Report Share Posted January 29, 2008 Welcome to the forum! There could be many reasons as to why he doesn't go down on you, ranging from: ~he's out of practice~he doesn't REALLY like it, and since you haven't pushed the issue, he's happy to not do it~maybe he had a past lover that didn't like it~he's selfish and only thinks of HIS needs and desires~is inconsiderate in the bedroomAny of these are NOT acceptable. There could be many more, but, in my experience, these are the most common reasons why oral doesn't happen.The only way to make this better is to TALK with him about it, away from the bedroom. Just ask him why he's been neglecting his oral duties. If you bring it up, and address it, there is NO excuse for him not to do it.Best wishes! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members pappyld04 Posted January 29, 2008 Members Report Share Posted January 29, 2008 I cannot believe you have let it go this long! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tyger Posted January 29, 2008 Report Share Posted January 29, 2008 Your woman is a LUCKY one iha!!! Though, I can't complain. My man loves to perform oral on me too..... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members *Mikayla's~Man* Posted February 2, 2008 Members Report Share Posted February 2, 2008 If you are letting him know that you like it, it can't be that he doesn't feel he is doing it right. If he truly liked doing it, he would be down there doing it. I love to give my wife oral, I do it all the time, I would do it every day just like Iha would. I like it. He must not like it. I sincerly see it as simple as that. He must be in a hurry to get to sex. Talk to him about it and see if you can sway him. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Newbie countrygirlnc Posted February 3, 2008 Author Newbie Report Share Posted February 3, 2008 If you are letting him know that you like it, it can't be that he doesn't feel he is doing it right. If he truly liked doing it, he would be down there doing it. I love to give my wife oral, I do it all the time, I would do it every day just like Iha would. I like it. He must not like it. I sincerly see it as simple as that. He must be in a hurry to get to sex. Talk to him about it and see if you can sway him.I agree, he says he likes it, but the fact that he doesn't do it more often tells me the contrary. But hey, everything else is real good and I don't know if I can not give him oral. I love it too much. I mean giving him oral will make me cum as well. Anyway thanks for all the input and listening to me rant. But you guys are right, I guess I just need to ask. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members crossroads123 Posted February 3, 2008 Members Report Share Posted February 3, 2008 Please learn to use your mouth for something else it's called talking. Set your lover down and talk about this and listen to him: open the lines of communication. I can't understand how people can get naked, have sex, and feel so totally open and lost when it comes to talking with a lover? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Newbie countrygirlnc Posted February 3, 2008 Author Newbie Report Share Posted February 3, 2008 Well said IHA, well said. I totally agree 100%.My comments here are not to any particular poster; it is a response to the great numbers of folks who offer the suggestion to people to 'just sit down and talk' about relationship issues or the fact that one person is not getting enough sex or the kind of sex they want.Those who think it is so simple are either blessed with perfect relationships, are naieve (or have a string of broken relationships/divorces). Most human beings do not have perfect love relationships. "Just sit down and talk about it" may not be workable without some preparation and assistance; the issues in the relationship may be inhibiting the very 'talking' that needs to get done. Relationship is far more than just 'communication'. To reduce it to this is like saying NASCAR is just about 'driving fast in a circle'. Telling someone to 'just sit down and talk about sex outside of the bedroom' may be like telling someone to 'go cuddle the pit bull that just came out of the dogfight'.Over time in relationship, there are hundreds of small compromises, because 'compromise' is what relationship is about, right? Well, yes, to an extent, but not so completely that each person loses themselves as an individual. Maintaining the sense of being an individual with choices and legitimate preferences is called 'differentiation'. Regaining this differentiation following many years of compromise is a difficult job that takes work from both people...the problem is, only one person may realize the need to do so. Should the person who is growing simply abandon the one who is not there yet? What about love? As Tom Petty sang :"waiting is the hardest part". Working through these issues is not easy or as simple as 'talking it out'. Now, I know there are those that think that this is just all counseling gobble-de-gook as a way for a therapist to make money, but I'm not charging here, so THAT argument doesn't work. There is science and knowledge about couple dynamics and interactions that is well researched, and proven over and over again in legitimate scientific studies.Working through issues in long term, committed relationships is not as simple as most people think. Many reach a point in the relationship where they have had enough, and decide to leave and find another (with a very high percentage to repeat the whole process over again, sadly). But others still have love in their hearts for the person that they are having such difficulty with...and yes, sex is a barometer of the larger relationship: sex is a window into the relationship, and the relationship is a window into the sex life of the couple. Despite the difficulties, some of us believe that the difficulties themselves are part and parcel of what our relationship is about: working through and developing as individuals and as a couple to a higher plane of relationship. This 'giving up" or 'sacrifice' of not having all the things I want, whenever I want them is not necessarily (as some may suggest and insist) masochistic; it is a well thought out choice for the commitment and higher good of the individual, couple, and my lover. For some, sex is not the objective, intimacy is, and sex is only a pleasurable tool to achieve those ends.This is not to suggest anyone should become a door-mat, or be abused in any way. Both of these are reprehensible. But to jump to an all too rapid conclusion that anyone who is having difficulty in not getting the sex they want should leave the relationship is either ignorant of the larger possibilities of couple committed relationship, or simply disrespectful. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Newbie countrygirlnc Posted February 3, 2008 Author Newbie Report Share Posted February 3, 2008 Well said IHA, well said. I agree 100%. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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