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My wife and I were married a little over 7 months ago. I love you dearly but we still have one issue, we have yet to have sex. We were both virgins when we got married so I did not truly know what to expect, but I did expect to be having sex within 7 months. Each time we try she says that it is too painful for her. We always use ample lubricant and I make sure that the foreplay is quite extensive. We really do not know what to do because with each failed attempt we both become more frustrated and I cannot help but think that it is only making her less able to relax. Any suggestions?

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In all seriousness....there is a slight, SLIGHT chance that she could have one of a few medical conditions that makes it almost impossible to have sex (without intervention). The first is a sealed hymen (a very tough piece of skin that is INTACT) and doesn't break. However, I can say if she has her period without any other issues, or can use a tampon, this is NOT the problem. THe other is a combination of a psychological issue and a pain recpetor issue - this can make sex painful, and the memory of the pain causes her muscles to CRAMP UP and not allow anything to penetrate her - even if she is relaxed and aroused.

There are treatments for both conditions: surgical breaking of the hymen, lidocaine shots into the vaginal area, and psychologial counseling and treatment.

There are a few other possibilities - but these are the two main ones that come to mind.

End result: she NEEDS to go to her OBGYN and get help there. She or He is the only one who can help! Good Luck and be patient!

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I agree with Mikayla and Froggy. Your wife needs to be checked out by a GYN. However, your wife needs to be very open with the doctor, and explain exactly what she is going through.

Good luck. Please let us know how it goes.

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