Three Way

[mtl12345]

i have joked about it . but now i want to have one .but i do not know how to bring up the subject . i wanted to bring it up tastefully to her. any comments will be appreciated

[pajsmg]

How about approaching the subject by asking her, " Have you ever known or heard about anyone having more than one partner in bed for sex at one time? " If she says, no, you can tell her you heard some guys talking about a 3-way, and had to ask what they were talking about. ( You can both laugh at your ignorance. That will put her at ease. ) Then you can express your feelings about the subject, and ask her about her feelings. Most people are reluctant to even think about multiple sex partners because of fears of jealousy, inadequacy, fear of competition, fear of losing their mate, etc. So don't be surprised when she says something like this. You can move the discussion to speculating on how couples who do threesomes handle these issues. Then kiss her, hug ner, and assure her that she is everything you need in your love life, and you wouldn't be jealous if she wanted to bring another man into your sexlife for fun. Or maybe save that last statement for the next time you visit the subject. i know you were thinking about having two women in bed, but turn matters around so that you think about your own feelings if she were to ask that the threeway you want to experience includes two guys, instead of two women! The couple who do engage in threesome have very strong levels of trust, openness, and commitment to each other. Sex is recreational to them, and they include another lover on occasion because it is an additional turn-on for them both. Are you really ready to do this?

ok, you sound like a professional in the subject. My boyfriend and I just really opened up on the sex issue. Kinda weird cause we told each other everything, but were both afraid of the same thing, the fact the other one would think we were a complete idiot. We both want to have another woman join us. He told me he would like to f*&k her and I wasn't sure what to think about that. Of course, I want to be intimate with her, but I am not sure about the ideal of him being intimate with her. Am I being unfair to him?

[crazy1]

Look, this is why threesomes are not advised. Just ask someone on this forum if they have had one, and what it did to the relationship afterwards. If you are already upset about him having sex with her, and he hasn't even done it yet, how will you feel(regardless of what you tell yourself between now and the time it would happen) after it goes down. Do some real searching in you and decided if that is what you really want. I would also check out some professional advice(look for relationship advice, really.) and see what people who spend their lives studying human relationships say about it.

Here's ten cents, my two cents are free.

Crazy1

[pajsmg]

Ok, All you did was make me more apprehensive. We have talked about it a lot lately. He is completely ok if I don't want him to be intimate with her. I want her though. I have fantasized about it for a long time.

[crazy1]

I am not going to tell you that you should. If you want that bit of advice, then you should probably tune me out immediately. I think when you are in a closed commited relationship or marriage, then you have promised to have sex with one person and one only. I despise 3somes and think they are nothing more than poison for relationships. I have NEVER met someone that said it was good for the relationship.

Have a look at this.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/9902322/

[Mikayla1]

I have to agree with Crazy1 here, I was the willing 3rd party in a threesome once. Now, granted the couple was not married at the time, this was years before I was married as well mind you. Everyone talked, and talked, and talked about it. We all decided we were "such good friends" and that the couple in question "loved each other" enough to withstand anything. So, we did it.

All persons involved with all persons, except the man was not allowed to have actual intercourse with me. Seems fair and logical, right? WRONG.

So, what do you think happened? Soon after the man starts saying to his girl, "so, when are we going to have Mikayla come and do the threesome again?" The girl was like, well, it was fun and all, but I want some us time. He pushes and pushes and soon admits he wants to do it again AND have SEX with me because it didn't seem like a REAL THREESOME just being able to touch me and eat me out, etc.

So, you see, when the fantasy goes into a reality, sometimes even the reality isn't enough!

I lost 2 good friends over that...and they lost each other!

Definitely something to think about!

Mikayla

[curvacious_lust]

How did I miss this post when it was originally written?? 3-somes are NOT good. I was involved in them with 2 different couples. First one was ok, we're all still friends, but they have had this lifestyle for MANY years.

2nd one, the woman became the bitch from Hell. It started off nice and then she pulled away from us and just laid on the edge of the bed. Granted, I was the "third party" here as they were the "couple". Well, the short end of it is, she started calling up mutual friends the next day and telling them how he and I never let her in on the action, that I was trying to steal him away from her. It just turned into a huge MESS. She even knew some of the AOL groups I chatted with and was online bashing me to these people.

In the end, she really cut off her nose in spite of her face. He left her. The social groups we hung out with basically shunned her because this was not the first time she had done this to another woman and they knew how I am. I guess its because the 3-some was not "all about her". Jealousy is a BIG issue in things like this.

I will admit, I do fantasize about a mfm 3-some so it can be all about me, but I think I would have to find 2 men that I know and trust, but they don't know each other so they can part ways in the end. (in a perfect world) Right now, no chance of this fantasy happening.

[DirtyBlonde]

I was just browsing around & came across this. I couldn't stay in a relationship if I had to witness the man I love, and love to fuck, fucking someone else....or doing anything sexual with another woman for that matter. I am possessive that way & I don't like to share, lol.

My BF has expressed an interest...kinda jokingly but I know he's serious. I told him the same thing...things would never feel the same with him for me....the relationship would be over in my heart....that would ruin him for me. He doesn't push or anything and I would like nothing more than to give him anything he wants, I'm up for pretty much anything....but I can't do that....luckily it doesn't seem to be an issue with him.

[Gia]

Hope you don't mind me chiming in here as my husband and I were discussing this same thing tonight

You have to be completely comfortable in your relationship, completely in love with your husband/SO, totally trust them before you bring someone else in.

Before I got married I dated a guy off and on. I have a girlfriend I used to hook up with. I decided to have her come and join us for my then boyfriends birthday. I wanted her for me only and I did not want HIM to do anything with her. The first time all was well....I just wasn't comfortable with him doing her. He kept asking and asking and asking. We eventually broke up.

My friend ended up getting married as did I. After a while we started getting together while our husbands watched, moving to separate rooms when it came time to have sex with our husbands. It progressed to having sex in front of each other...still just my girlfriend and I hooking up...it finally came to swapping.

My husband and I just a few hours ago were talking about bringing in another girls (single) and I really surprised myself saying it would be totally ok with me for him to do the other girl (in fact we are talking about going to a swingers party).

My ground rules are: no getting her phone number (If I wanted to see her again, I would do the hook up) no chatting with her online, on the phone, no lunch dates, no seeing her without me.....for us we separate a good f**k from the times we make love.

I am completely comfortable in the fact that he loves me and we are a family and I would not want him to hook up without me.

If he ever crosses that line, we would deal with it at that time.

(Weird thing is we did do a threesome with one of his guy friends and my husband was the one that initiated it and told his friend to do me...asking me first) so i figured I owed him

anyway...my advice...go for it only if you can separate a f**k from love making and make sure you are totally committed in your relationship