Members triedntru Posted April 12, 2008 Members Report Share Posted April 12, 2008 Ok, since everyone here is so good at giving advice, here it goes. First of all, I am a hopeless flirt. I love flirting, love the feel I get from it! Especially online flirting. To me, it is perfectly safe and harmless, for the most part. My problems is this, I'm married, happily married at that, but the ones I get to flirt with, want to come meet me, I know that I should be happy, and I am, in that aspect, but what do I do. I can't meet these people, my husband would flip!!! I don't want to risk my marriage, but I can't seem to shutup when these guys start talking!!! I even have one that knows I'm married, but still wants to meet me, and he's not far away at all, like day trip kinda drive....Gulp!!! From a moral standpoint, I know I shouldn't play these games, cause it's not nice, and I'm not trying to be mean at all. I'm really not a mean person! But please, any advice will help. I dont want to stop flirting and half the time I do it without realising till i'm shoulder deep! Yeah, never claimed to be the most observant!! Anyway, thanks for listening. TNT Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members thurisas Posted April 12, 2008 Members Report Share Posted April 12, 2008 First off, how does your husband feel about your on-line escapades? If he doesn't know you do this, you may want to be very careful. As many people consider things like this cheating as those who don't. How up front with the people are you when you are flirting? Do you let people know that you're just looking for a little flirtatious, but harmless fun? You say you love to flirt and your self-knowledge about that makes it hard believing that you just sort of do it wihtout realizing unless you're doing it over a voice connection. I say this because typing is a heck of a lot different from talking. One typically thinks about what they're going to say much more when typing than in a face to face conversation. So I guess that my advice to you is, if your husband wouldn't like it, if your flirtatious escapades are going to endanger both you and your marriage, and if you can't seem to keep things under control, don't do it. Otherwise, find a way to rectify those situations and continue on having fun.Randy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members angelkisses98 Posted April 12, 2008 Members Report Share Posted April 12, 2008 i am a hopeless flirt as well. and i actually met my hubby of 4 years online!! i was a flirt when we met, and i always will be. i agree with thurisas, if your hubby would not approve, dont do it. as for the ppl you are meeting online, well if you are telling them you are married, and want to meet anyway, i would consider cutting ties with them. by them insisting on meeting you anyway, even though you have made your self clear, they are not respecting you or your marriage. i have a friend who lives in ireland, and we have been chat pals for a few years before i met my hubby. hubby knows him, and knows we flirt shamelessly, but is not concerned. he knows its how i am. and he trust me. if i thought my marriage would suffer in any way, i would sever all ties. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members cmwise1 Posted April 12, 2008 Members Report Share Posted April 12, 2008 Everything we do and say is under our control. You must ask yourself what you get out of these on-line flirting sessions that you are not getting in your marriage. Is it excitement, intimacy, risk taking...? Your marriage depends on both you and your husband agreeing upon a certain set of behaviors. If he does not mind, no problem. But since you are hesitant to tell him, my guess is that you think he will mind and will not want you to continue. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members pappyld04 Posted April 12, 2008 Members Report Share Posted April 12, 2008 This to me is similar to a trip to the bar. My gf and I both flirt but we know exactly who is going home with who at the end of the night. I think everyone likes to flirt but it's handling the over-enthused recipient that matters. JUST SAY NO!!!!!!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members triedntru Posted April 12, 2008 Author Members Report Share Posted April 12, 2008 Thank you all for the advice. I think the biggest thing I get out of it is 1.) it's fun. 2.) ego boost...I know, I shouldn't have to find one...lol 3.) I've never really been single so I'm just living vicariously through the web... I'm going to have to behave myself, at least till I talk to DH about it. Thanks again for all the advice. TNT Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members pappyld04 Posted April 12, 2008 Members Report Share Posted April 12, 2008 If he were at the titty bar getting a lap dance would that be flirting or cheating? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tyger Posted April 13, 2008 Report Share Posted April 13, 2008 I have to agree. You are in charge of yourself, and need to be accountable for your actions. If you think that what you're doing would upset your hubby, then you need to stop. I too love to flirt, and sometimes do it unconsciously, but it's mild flirting, and in no way to the people I speak with think that I am ready to get up and go off to go sleep with someone else. There's a line that one needs to know not to cross. You need to learn when you're starting to cross that line, and stop. There's harmless flirting that most people do with each other, married, in relationships, or not, then there's the heavy, serious flirting that you have admitted to doing.Like a couple of people have said, if you think that your husband would have a problem with what you're doing, then you should stop. Say that if your husband were to do it, and then you would think he was cheating when he did it, then, yes, you're doing something wrong, and should stop.If you've got people that want to meet you, and don't care that you're married, then you're flirting a bit too hard. There's nothing wrong with feeling good about yourself, and, flirting and being flirted with does give that ego boost, BUT you really should be careful and not cross that line. PLUS, as a married woman, you should NEVER give out where you live online, or even your real name. When you're in communication with people for a looooooooooong time, and build a trust with someone, that's one thing....like I know a few people on this board by their real names, as well as their SNs. But, it took a looooooooooooooong time for us to build that relationship with. But, flirting heavily with men, and then hinting around that you'd like to meet them someday, it is a BAD idea.I hope you learn where that line is, quickly, so that you can concentrate flirting more with your hubby with the seriousness & intensity you've been doing online. Good luck to you, and best wishes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Marie Antoinette Posted April 16, 2008 Members Report Share Posted April 16, 2008 If you have 2 computers in your house maybe you should try flirting with your husband online. Kinda like when you were dating. We do it all the time when he is at work. It so much fun and really gets us in the mood for when he comes home. Sometimes he grabs me up as soon as he walks in the door! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members triedntru Posted April 16, 2008 Author Members Report Share Posted April 16, 2008 FYI I have stopped talking to the people and am getting my head on straight. Thanks everyone for the advice. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ohshelly Posted April 17, 2008 Members Report Share Posted April 17, 2008 If you have 2 computers in your house maybe you should try flirting with your husband online. Kinda like when you were dating. We do it all the time when he is at work. It so much fun and really gets us in the mood for when he comes home. Sometimes he grabs me up as soon as he walks in the door!My SO and I do this, too! It is fun, isn't it? Sometimes right before he is ready to leave work and come home, I will text him a sexy little poem. It is so sweet when he comes in the house after a long day at work and 'scolds' me for giving him a all day hard on. Poor, poor baby!I'm glad to know others do this, also. Makes the day fly by................................(: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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