Members zxandyr'smommy Posted April 16, 2008 Members Report Share Posted April 16, 2008 What is your opinion on putting teen on BC? Growing up sex was "for married people" we never really talked about it i guess they just figured we knew, But asking them to put us on BC was a big N-O. they knew we were sexually active yet we never told them ( i guess thats a parents job), however now that my SD is 11 my DH and i have been talking about what we should do with her in the future. He wants to get her on BC as soon as possible but in my opinion it would give her the impression that it's ok to have sex when ever with whoever. I'm not saying sex is a bad thing i don't think that at all i just dont her to have sex because she cant get pregnant. i know it's also a communication thing, most likely me and her with DH nowhere to be found, but i was just curious what you have to think. any suggestions? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members chloegirl Posted April 16, 2008 Members Report Share Posted April 16, 2008 Hopefully you have been having a constant ongoing dialogue that is age appropriate to your daughter's maturity level all this time. I always stressed to my girls that sex is a perfectly natural and pleasant part of life, but it should be reserved as a special aspect in a relationship where both people really care about and respect each other. I also stressed that if they don't feel the desire 100% for that person to not just give in and that it was better to wait until they were older. So many young girls get sucked into that "pressure" before they are ready and then never really learn to enjoy it for how it should be, they just kind of go thru the motions. But most importantly, I always stressed that when you are ready don't be ashamed, and come let me know and I will help get you on something as foolproof as possible, because no way did I want them taking a chance and coming up "accidently" pregnant. So far so good.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members zxandyr'smommy Posted April 16, 2008 Author Members Report Share Posted April 16, 2008 I'm still trying to explain her upcoming "womanhood", should sex be a conversation we have at this young of age? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members chloegirl Posted April 16, 2008 Members Report Share Posted April 16, 2008 Not so much sex at that age, but they are seeing shows on tv and reading books where they are seeing people hook up and even at that young age the kids at school are already talking about who's "going out" with so and so....just kind of use those as ways to start a conversation and subtly begin to pass on your thoughts on those subjects and give her a chance to let you know her take on it without feeling judged and preached at ...the most important thing is to develop an open and honest line of communication that progresses as time goes by. It also helps to keep a sense of humor going.....it was always easy for me slip a point in that way, 'cause they know I just have a raunchy sense of humor and I just pretty much blurt stuff out without sugar-coating it. It's a fine line because you want them to be careful and selective (no-one wants their daughter to be the school slut!) but you don't want to repress them to the point that they can't relax and enjoy their sexuality when they become young women....I sure don't want my girls to have to wait till middle age to come into their own. Good luck! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members zxandyr'smommy Posted April 16, 2008 Author Members Report Share Posted April 16, 2008 thanx for the advice i will definately keep it in mind. now i know why i wanted a boy... ( j/k) she will be good practice for the rest of the kids and hopefully a little girl of my own blood someday. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members triedntru Posted April 16, 2008 Members Report Share Posted April 16, 2008 I was raised where my mom and I were best of friends. I told her everything. We even had some sex talks, but when I hit about 13/14 I went wild. I say that, I know it's not as bad as some, but for me it was. I started sleeping with a guy that was almost 20 and only by the grace of God that I did not get pregnant. I think had my mom taken me and gotten me the shot (because you don't have to remember to take it every day at same time) it would have saved her a lot of worry (at least about pregnancy) I have a friend who had a child at 16 because her parents didn't talk to them about sex and give them birthcontrol of any sort. I am going to get my daughter the shot as soon as she's in 9th grade, unless given reason to sooner. There's my $.02 for what it's worth. TNT Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members thurisas Posted April 17, 2008 Members Report Share Posted April 17, 2008 Let me start by saying that I am not a parent. I am, however, a behavior coach on a campus that houses both female and male troubled children between the ages of 11 and 18. Many of them have been very much sexually active before they even arrived on campus. You might not want to think that sex is on the mind of your child at that young an age but I think parents need to come to grips with the fact that there is such a thing as sex education in school starting as early as 7th or 8th grade. Children get the idea long before many parents think they do or should. As long as you have an open, honest, non-judgemental, and respectful line of communication with your children regarding sex, you'll be able to make that decision together with them when the time comes. I think the decision really needs to be a case by case scenario that is dependent upon the child.Randy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest eminatic Posted April 17, 2008 Report Share Posted April 17, 2008 i was prescribed birth control during my sophomore year of highschool due do SEVERE cramps. it regulated my period so that it comes like clockwork but it drastically crushed my libido i would definately recommend birth control to teens since all around me i see pregnant girls my age due to condoms breaking. personally i wouldnt even feel safe having sex with only a condom. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ladylove Posted April 17, 2008 Members Report Share Posted April 17, 2008 I have 3 kids, all old enough to be sexuaslly active. I treat sex as a very natural, matter of fact thing through out ones life. We've (SO and I) have had many very interesting talks about all kind of 'stuff' with them especially during the the Clinton administration....They did come to me for advise on BC when the time came. I'd rather they came to me for BC than come to be for an abortion, (I know abortion in itself is a hot button, it may be smart not to go there). Keep the lines of communication open; and try not to get squimish about anything that come up! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members zxandyr'smommy Posted April 17, 2008 Author Members Report Share Posted April 17, 2008 thanks guys i guess it is something to consider. i would hope at this time we don't have anything to worry about. but i will try to keep an open mind to everything. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members chloegirl Posted April 17, 2008 Members Report Share Posted April 17, 2008 Just keep in mind and reinforce to your child that unplanned pregnancies at a young age before you've got all your ducks in row will not only severly limit their life possibilities, but it also puts un-necessary strain on the "grandparents" who will most likely be stuck helping to raise and support them, not to mention the poor kid's life. My daughter has really taken this lesson in and although she's on the pill (she waited till she was 19 and is pretty sure they will end up married after college) she still makes him use a condom everytime too....smart girl....you have to think about diseases as well as the b.c. aspect. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members PanickedVanity Posted April 17, 2008 Members Report Share Posted April 17, 2008 I wouldn't put her on BC, but I would get her some condoms when she starts seriously dating someone. I started having sex when I was 15. I mostly had it with girls at the time, which if one is bisexual is a GREAT option, because it's lower risk, and more emotionally safe that with boys.When I did start with boys I used condoms, which I think are a better form of protection at that age because BC is hormones and can mess with your system. Condoms are also nice because they help prevent STDs. Honestly, as a general rule having a fairly open dialogue on sex is a great thing to have as a teenager, and as a parent. Of course the subject can be awkward, but kids will be kids, and if you freak out about it you can cause a kid a lot of harm (you seem pretty cool about it though) Reasonable limits are so important, know what your kid is going to do anyway, and only stop her when she's doing something unsafe. For example, a fairly easy going policy on sex (You can, but you had damn well better use protection) and a harder policy on drugs etc. That worked really well for my parents. To this day I barely drink, and even though I had a reputation in highschool and hung out with the "Arty Druggy weirdos" in highschool, I almost never touched drugs (except for marijuana once or twice) and got excellent grades. The most important thing I think in raising a kid, no matter what the rules are is being there, and loving them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members zxandyr'smommy Posted April 17, 2008 Author Members Report Share Posted April 17, 2008 I am definatly giving both my boys a box of condoms when they first start dateing. But when i got pregnant i onoly figured i'd have to worry about the boy ( atleast for awhile). a girl has never crossed my mind. i know i was a hand ful growing up couldn't imagine having a little girl just like me kinda scares me. but then i look at my step daughter and although i've only been in her life for three years i knew instantly i was in for a wild ride she's so much like me it's terrifying, she even looks like me. well anyways thank you all again for the wonderful ideas. she and i will definately have a long talk about when the time comes. she's always managed to open up to me. i guess cuz i'm the mom that will MAKE time to talk with her when she's upset. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members angelkisses98 Posted April 18, 2008 Members Report Share Posted April 18, 2008 i have a boy, and hes only 10, going to be 11 in july., and i have been hit with all kinds of questions lately. its deff. hard!! here you are looking at your baby talking about sex. be open and honest. and honestly in this day in age bc pills for teenage girls are IMO a good idea. when i have a girl, you better believe im putting her ass on bc pills Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.