Changing For The Good

[Amylynn920]

Tell me, how many of you took on changes for either your emotional or physical best, or both for your partner and what did you do or are doing.

Me and hubby both need to work on getting healthier. I'm doing Atkins which always worked for me.

I'm also letting my hair grow. It's shoulder length now but I want long sexy hair to wrap around him.

I want to drop about 40 pounds and hubby is cutting down on cigarettes and trying to quit smoking. Yay for him!!!

I've been all over the spectrum, thin to very heavy and I just want to be comfortable in my skin. And I want some sexy new lingerie and a private photo shoot with hubby!

So what are you doing or have done to make yourself better for your partner and you? And what were the results?

[PanickedVanity]

Well, I've always been pretty skinny (I come from a family of tall women with no boobs, so I'm built something like a 12 year old boy, and burn calories the same way)

My major problem has been house keeping, I work from home most of the time, and my DH works 65 hours a week, so mostly the task of cleaning falls to me, and I will admit to being crap at doing dishes, and generally a cluttered disorganized creature, and trust me, a messy house is no place for romance.

In turn my DH is trying to get over some of the various mental health issues he has.

We've started taking walks together, because we realized that the times we're happiest are when we're not cooped up in the apartment.

[angelkisses98]

hey aiden, i think we have alot in common. we both had crappy exes that treated us BAD, invitro, and the same "bedroom" issues with our current hubby's....just an observation

[Kinky_Kitty]

I have always been very thin but ever since I moved to USA I had gained some weight, since I wasn't getting ANY attention what so ever, I decided that it was time to start working out, watching what I eat and cut down the amount of coke cans that I was drinking. I went from 24 inches waist to over 30 and now I am very happy to say it's about 23 inches. I have also changed my temperament (well, I am working on it) and my jealousy.

Next step, is to teach him to trust me and be very open. But I am learning how to do that.

[chloegirl]

The most profound change I made began when I stopped living every single waking moment doing nothing but working and catering to everyone else besides myself. It really got bad several years ago when hubby got deathly sick and couldn't work. I had to take on an extra job on top of my full-time one and in my few hours off I literally spent ALL my time and energy on doing for the kids and family and house and in the process lost contact with all my friends and ME as a person. Got really depressed, angry, and FAT! which made me even more miserable. I finally just woke up one morning and decided I can't change or control anything but myself and I refuse to live like this anymore sacrificing myself to point of no return. I started walking each night and stopped putting crap into my body and slowly but surely the weight came off, my mood improved, and life just looked a whole lot brighter because my attitude had gone from one of negativity to possitivity. These days I log 5.5 miles 5 times a week (steep uphills and can run half of it! yay!) Hubby had made a full recovery, no longer drinks, and helps alot around the house (the girls are hopeless slobs) and doesn't mind me taking that time for myself as we are all alot happier now that mama's not a bitch! Really kicked my sex drive into high gear too! I can honestly say these days I spend most of my time feeling really good and happy!

[chloegirl]

oops! Almost forgot another really important one...at least one "O" a day and more if at all possible!!! Talk about a mood enhancer!

[me4now]

what i did was get back in school and once i had our son in 2004 i did gain weight so now i am working out. we both belong to the gym so when we work out at home we make it fun by doin sexual exercise together which make me exercise harder. What my husband does now is he cooks more since Im in school plus run my own in-home daycare so i do get a little tired, and I am letting my hair grow also.

[cmwise1]

It seems like there are a lot of weight issues on here. I asked a SO once about thin vs voluptuous women (our culture would call them overweight). He stated he would rather have some soft skin to grab than skin and bones. Good luck to everyone on making yourselves HEALTHY mentally and physically.

[Amylynn920]

I think weight is one of the biggest social measures as well as personal.

I never had bad body image, I just want to be healthy for my son.

But we all have things we want to change. The one thing I find holds true is that when you fall in love with someone they become beautiful to you no matter what anyone else may think.

[Tyger]

I too, am working on loosing weight. I was a size 6 when me and DH met, and, I'd like to get back to at least an 8 (had a baby, so I'm not seeing a 6 happening ever again).

For the better? I've become less of a doormat, and more assertive. I stand up for myself & have stopped letting people take advantage of me, though, since I've done that, no matter how nice I've been about it, I am a *BITCH*. Oh well.

During my divorce from my 1st husband, I learned that jealousy is a serious waste of time & energy, and rarely do I allow myself to feel it now. Y'all know my philosophy: if someone's gonna cheat, there's nothing you can do to stop it.

I became a mother, and a pretty good one at that.

I've become *slightly* better in the kitchen, but not by much. LOL

[mailahn97]

Tyger I know what you mean about changing and not being a doormat. I used to always do whatever everyone else wanted of me no matter what I wanted. Well my New years resolution was to do for me, take care of me and stay ositive. I have done that and have been sticking to it. I ended up with 2 friends that could not accept that I was there for their beck and call anymore. It put a strain on it. We went from talking all the time to now maybe once a week. My SO even said it just shows you they had you around for what you could do for them and that was it.

I am now much happier, lost 13 pounds so far. It is very hard for me to lose weight due to my underactive thyroid that the doctor is having a lot of trouble regulating. It actually caused me several miscarriages.

Now I am positive, upbeat and happy. Before I used to be down, sad and never wanted to do or try anything new. MY SO loves the new me because I am not afraid to try just about everything.

[angelkisses98]

i feel everyone on the weight issue. it took me a whole year of no carbs, sugar blah blah blah and the gym to lose a lousy 20lbs. it is VERY VERY VERY hard for me to lose weight, so the fact that i lost 20lbs was HUGE for me. since i stopped my birth control pills, and the doc has me on all kinds of hormones, i gained 35lbs!! and believe me at 5'1 it SHOWS i go to the gym, and play tennis with my hubby when its nice outside, but the weight is still here. doc said im fighting a losing battle right now. i know i will never see size 3/5 again, and i dont really want to, but i would like to see my size 8 again!!

hubby has been great, and supportive. says he loves me anyways, and he still thinks im sexy. which, i totally do not see. i think that is also effecting me in the bedroom as well.

[Shariana]

i feel everyone on the weight issue. it took me a whole year of no carbs, sugar blah blah blah and the gym to lose a lousy 20lbs. it is VERY VERY VERY hard for me to lose weight, so the fact that i lost 20lbs was HUGE for me. since i stopped my birth control pills, and the doc has me on all kinds of hormones, i gained 35lbs!! and believe me at 5'1 it SHOWS i go to the gym, and play tennis with my hubby when its nice outside, but the weight is still here. doc said im fighting a losing battle right now. i know i will never see size 3/5 again, and i dont really want to, but i would like to see my size 8 again!!

hubby has been great, and supportive. says he loves me anyways, and he still thinks im sexy. which, i totally do not see. i think that is also effecting me in the bedroom as well.

I went from a size 12 to a size 3/5 in one summer. My doctor put me on iron supplements and it kickstarted my metabolism.... for awhile. Then my ex started being a jerk and I turned back to my comfort foods. I am back to a size 12. I would LOVE to be a size 8 again... 6 would be GREAT! But I know it won't happen.

I get jealous of my sister. She's a 3/5 and only eats junk. But, she takes after my mother, so she will see the weight gain soon enough... lol.

I am 5'2", and I really would like to be down to that 8 again, too! My boyfriend is also very supportive and said he likes my "chub".... it makes him laugh when he squeezing my stomach. I would love to lose some weight, but I know he wouldn't mind even if I didn't.

If your husband says he loves you anyway, believe him! Go out and get some clothes that fit right and look good so you aren't cramped in sizes too small. It took me a year to come to terms with the idea that I wasnt' an 8 anymore. Get a sexy little night gown and have a great night! Do what makes YOU feel sexy! It will help in the bedroom... trust me! ^.^

[nosleepnmesa]

I have lost alot of weight so actually I am trying to put some back on. LOL So I will be glad to take some from one of you.

For the better, I have had some pretty bad relationships in my past and I now speak my mind, and I am very assertive, I have learned not to hold in all my feelings and allow them to buddle up inside and explode. I speak my mind but I also listen to what someone has to say. I will never be a doormat for anyone or allow anyone to control what I do, or try to.

[angelkisses98]

i have to learn to speak up more...specially in the bedroom, i am working on it, but its not easy for me. hubby is usually the one to drag whats bothering me out. he knows how hard it is for me to be so honest and open up. i was in a HORRIBLE marriage for 5 years before hubby and i got together. and he was emotionally, mentally, and verbally abusive. when ever i would speak up, he would tell me i was freak, stupid, fat, no one else will ever want me ect... so i learned very quick to not say anything. its amazing that after being out of that relationship, and married to hubby for 4 years, that i still have issues with this.