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Hillbilly Medical Termanology


Tyger

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.. .. .. ..Hillbilly Medical Terms .. .. .... .. .. .. ....

Benign................What you be after you be eight.

Bacteria...............Back door to cafeteria.

Barium.................What you do with dead folks.

Cesarean Section.......A neighborhood in Rome.

Catscan................Searching for the cat.

Cauterize..........Made eye contact with her.

Colic...............A sheep dog.

Coma...............A punctuation mark.

D&C................Where Washington is.

Dilate.............To live longer than your kids do.

Enema.............Not a friend.

Fester............Quicker than someone else.

Fibula............A small lie.

G.I. Series.........World Series of military baseball.

Hangnail...........What you hang your coat on.

Impotent...........Distinguished, well known.

Labor Pain..........Getting hurt at work.

Morbid..............A higher offer than I bid.

Nitrates............Cheaper than day rates.

Medical Staff.......A Doctor's cane, sometimes shown with a snake.

Node....................I knew it.

Outpatient..............A person who has fainted.

Pap Smear................A fatherhood test.

Pelvis...................Second cousin to Elvis.

Post Operative...........A letter carrier.

Recovery Room....Place to do upholstery.

Secretion.......Hiding something

Tablet..........A small table to change babies on.

Seizure..........Roman emperor who lived in the Ceasarean Section.

Terminal Illness....Getting sick at the train station.

Tumor...............More than one.

Urine...............Opposite of mine.

Varicose............Near by

Hospital............The biggest building in town, other than Joe's feed warehouse or Franks lumber mill.

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LOL :P

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lol

nice.... I love medical humor.... particularly as a small town EMT... I've actually heard that benign one from a patient....

"Ma'am, have you ever had cancer?"

"No, miss, but I do have a tumor, but the doctor said it didn't need to be removed."

"Why is that, Ma'am?"

"He said it "benign".... I don't know what how long I've had it for has to do with anything, though...."

That made me and my partner chuckle a bit.... we didn't tell her what it meant, but let the doctor at the hospital know he might want to clear that up with her.... =D

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