Jump to content
Official Community Forums Home
Header promo block image

Who's Your Daddy?!?!?!


Recommended Posts

  • Members


>The following are all replies that Detroit women have written on Child

>Support Agency forms in the section for listing "father's details;" or

>putting it another way...Who's yo Daddy? These are genuine excerpts from

>the forms. Be sure to check out #11. It takes 1st prize and #3 is runner

>up. Five surely gets "most creative."




>1. Regarding the identity of the father of my twins, child A was

>fathered by Jim Munson. I am unsure as to the identity of the father of

>child B, but I believe that he was conceived on the same night.


>2. I am unsure, as to the identity of the father of my child as I was

>being sick out of a window when taken unexpectedly from behind. I can

>provide you with a list of names of men that I think were at the party

>if this helps.


>3. I do not know the name of the father of my little girl. She was

>conceived at a party at 3600 East Grand Boulevard where I had

>un protected sex with a man I met that night. I do remember that the sex

>was so good that I fainted. If you do manage to track down the father,

>can you send me his phone number? Thanks.


>4. I don't know the identity of the father of my daughter. He drives a

>BMW that now has a hole made by my stiletto in one of the door panels.

>Perhaps you can contact BMW service stations in this area and see if

>he's had it replaced.


>5. I have never had sex with a man. I am still a Virginian. I am

>awaiting a letter from the Pope confirming that my son's conception was

>immaculate and that he is the Saver risen again.


>6. I cannot tell you the name of child A's dad as he informs me that to

>do so would blow his cover and that would have cataclysmic implications

>for the economy. I am torn between doing right by you and right by the





>7. I do not know who the father of my child was as all look the same to



>8. Pe ter Smith Is the father of child A. If you do catch up with him,

>can you ask him what he did with my AC/DC CDs? Child B who was also

>borned at the same time...well, I don't have clue.


>9. From the dates it seems that my daughter was conceived at Disney

>World; maybe it really is the Magic Kingdom.


>10. So much about that night is a blur. The only thing that I remember

>for sure is Delia Smith did a program about eggs earlier in the evening.

>If I had stayed in and watched more TV rather than going to the party at

>8956 Miller Ave, mine might have remained unfertilized.


>11. I am unsure as to the identity of the father of my baby, after all,

>like when you eat a can of beans you can't be sure which one made you




>Yep, you guessed it right - you are all paying taxes to support these


Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

For those unfamiliar, Welfare payments are made in the US to individuals and families with income below a set level. The following quotations are taken from actual letters received by the Welfare Department in applications for support of receiving payments.

I am forwarding my marriage certificate and 6 children. I had seven but one died which was baptized on a half sheet of paper.

I am writing the welfare department to say that my baby was born two years old. When do I get my money?

Mrs. Jones has not had any clothes for two years and has been visited regularly by the clergy.

I cannot get sick pay. I have six children can you tell me why?

I am glad to report that my husband who is missing is dead.

This is my eighth child. What are you going to do about it.

Please find out if my husband is dead. The man I am now living with can't do anything until he knows.

I am very much annoyed to find out that you have branded my son illiterate. This is a dirty lie as I was married a week before he was born.

In answer to your letter, I have given birth to a son weighing 10 lbs. I hope this is satisfactory.

I am forwarding my marriage certificate and my 3 children one of which is a mistake as you can see.

My husband got his project cut off about two weeks ago and I haven't had any relief since.

Unless I get my husband's money pretty soon, I will be forced to lead an immortal life.

You have my changed little boy to a girl, will this make any difference?

I have no children yet, as my husband is a truck driver and works night and day.

I want money as quick as I can get it. I have been in bed with the doctor for two weeks and he doesn't do me any good. If things don't improve, I will have to send for another doctor.

In accordance with your instructions, I have given birth to twins in the enclosed envelope.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

ToyQueen, I was not trying to beat you to the punch with my other post! Just had a brainfart that panned out! Sorry!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

Huh ................I have twin grandsons, and they where born in a hospital~Maybe I should try talking the dear DIL into trying that envalope trick next time.

Sounds like it would be a much cheaper alternative................................................... :D


Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members
:o I am one that has had a 10 lb baby (10lb 4 oz) and I will say I feel sorry for anyone that has. (Im not a big girl either Im really little.) Good thing he was a c-section baby... :)

I was 10lbs 11oz, mom had me naturally. And tehy say smoking causes low birth weights

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

  • Create New...

Important Information

Terms of Use & Privacy Policy