Helping Hints For Bettering Your Sex Life

[Mikayla1]

This New Topic is being started because our infamous "DoDoQueen" has asked for tips on how to better her sex life with her fiance - WITHOUT THE USE OF SEX TOYS PLEASE - So I felt it necessary to remove her postings from the "When To USe A Sex Toy" section of this Forum.

I am looking for the best tips from all of us. Howard, CL, Crazy1, Telecom - help her out. She NEEDS IT.

I will jump in in a bit - right now I have something else to attend to!

Mikayla

[curvacious_lust]

How did I miss this post? There are a lot of intimate ways of exploring you and your partner without toys. Honestly, I didn't get into toys in my own sex life til about 5 years ago when I sent away for a free one to see what the rage was all about.

One thing that I find highly charged, is being completely nude with your partner and exploring each other's bodies. Skin is the most erogenous system on the body and when touch is combined with visual stimulii, nothing can get a person more sexually charged in my book. Massage, kissing, just feeling every inch of skin with your feet, hands, legs, can really turn a person on! Talk to your partner. I know a lot of people here harp on talking "dirty" but sometimes, just complimenting your partner on how good their hands feel, their kisses heat you up, what physically turned you on to your partner??

Also, have 1 night of just simply foreplay, no intercourse. Get him off using your hands, oral techniques, anything BUT anal or vaginal intercourse. That I can guarantee will leave you both hot for another sex romp, either the next night or possibly sooner.

If there are no children around, give him his own personal strip tease or lap dance. Show him your undivided attention. Kiss and touch him seductively while lightly teasing him with your body. Men don't see our bodies the way we do. We nitpick and can be very negative about the slightest imperfection and the guys say "what are you talking about? I don't see anything wrong" Yeah, so I have stretchmarks from having my children (9 lb 4 oz, 8 lb 1 oz) Those are signs of courage and strength! My partner says they remind him of one of the greatest things he has ever received in his life. So, USE THAT BODY!! It is a WONDERFUL thing.

[crazy1]

I think we have to let Dodo define what a sex toy is for her. I call all sorts of things sex toys. Cock rings, lube, books on positions, my ties(they make good impromptu restraints), to a hair brush to spank with. If she just wants vanilla, plain, missionary sex, then she needs to think about what are her expectations. What does she want? We don't know what her idea of good sex is, if she orgasms regularly or what her partners ideas are. once again, we need more info!!!!

[Mikayla1]

I think that Howard has outdone himself here! There are more ideas and more suggestions that we all can learn from (some we may already know ) The biggest message of this post is this:

SEX IS ADULT PLAY - WHEN YOU ARE PLAYING WITH YOUR LOVER - DON'T LOOK AT THE CLOCK, DON'T WORRY ABOUT STRESSES IN LIFE, DON'T WORRY ABOUT THE BILLS, DON'T WORRY ABOUT WORK - JUST PLAY!

If any advice needs to be heeded by more people it is this. In our busy lives we hurry through sex, we rush foreplay, we skip lovemaking for the sake of other things. This is the decline of our relationships and our general happiness!

Sex should become a priority for everyone. Our children our important, our careers are important, housework, schoolwork, shopping - all important. However, SEX IS IMPORTANT TOO! There has to be more attention paid to sex than the 20 minutes most people give it once a week. It is a stress reliever, it is exercise and helps to burn calories, it is FUN! Even having a solo release through masturbation is good for you! When we don't get it, we wonder about our self esteem. There is nothing wrong with wanting or needing sex - so let us all go to our SO and ask to play!

Mikayla

Edited February 8, 2006 by Mikayla1

[Scout]

Crazy - I'm with you. I think she needs to give a whole not more information. If my memory serves me correctly, isn't she not having intercourse? I know she's opposed to sex toys and thinks they (and probably the people who use them) should be banned, destroyed, buried at sea or whatever. So, if she's only doing oral sex - funny, I think one of our President's said that oral sex wasn't really sex...hmmmmmmm, and look where that got him!

OK, joking aside - having your lover's body available to you is so incredibly erotic...ever thought of shaving your lover, or of washing your lover's hair? Have him sit in a straight backed chair...place nice, warm towels on his face, get out the 'ol shaving cream and his razor...sit on his lap, and start shaving his face, slowly and gently. When you done with that, again have him sitting in a chair with his back to the sink...gently pour the warm water over his hair, leaning over him so that your breasts are in constant contact with his face, as you gently message the shampoo through his scalp, running your fingers from his temples to the back of his head...and then, gently rinising the soap out. The key here is, keep all the movements slow and long...And if you both can get up and walk after all that - well, you're far better than I...when I did this to my lover...he never said a word...just sat there while I washed his hair, and stroked and messaged his scalp...and when I was done, he pulled me to him and held me and hugged me for what seemed like forever. No one had ever done that for him...and most likely most men are in the same boat.

And Howard - well! you are quite some man...and you are so right - when you love someone...I mean really love someone - where they come first all the time...sex is never boring or dull. I could be putting the dishes in the dishwasher, and all the "ol man would have to say is something silly like, "you wanna mess around?" and my knees would turn to rubber. Just sitting and looking at him, watching him, the way he walked, his expressions, you get to where you know each and every thing about your lover and you end up just loving them more. And one day you realize that your orgasms are more frequent, stronger, better...and you're not doing anything differently...it just keeps getting better. There's not a single inch of him/her that you don't know and love - there are so many varied erotic spots, and addressing different ones each time you make love keeps everything you are doing fresh and exciting...comfortable and wonderful all at the same time.

No, you don't need sex toys to have great sex...but they certainly help to spice things up - as Howard has reminded us so many times...sex is adult play time...and whatever you use or do to make it more fun...keep the laughter going...can't be wrong...and just makes it keep on getting better!

Relax, have fun, laugh...and love...and you will enjoy!

Scout