Those 3 Little Words

[whiskeywoman]

What does it mean when someone says "I love you?"

Is it just a simple tool for men to get into a woman's pants?

Or is it a way for women to get what material things they truely desire?

Is it the end of a relationship or the beginning?

should we change our perspective on a relationship because of those 3 words?

When those words were said to me yesterday, I thought I was going to faint and have a heart attack.

I thought it was a mistake, so I asked again" What did you say?"

I heard it again "I love you"

All of a sudden, the " relationship" took on a whole new meaning, it got a lot scarier

And a whole lot more serious.

Part of me wanted to run and bolt like a scared rabbit caught in the farmers lettuce patch.

The other part of me put my feet into the stubborn stance I am famous for and refused

to run and hide, ready to meet the changes and challenges head on.

To me, those words are very serious and are not taken lightly.

The same applies to the person that spoke them.

they were not uttered in vain to get laid,

they were not mumbled out of confusion or habit.

They were said with sincerity and geniune feeling.

Too many times these words are spoken with no true knowledge of the impact they have on the person they are said to.

It is my belief that BEFORE men and women alike say these words, that they truely mean them,

they are three of the most innocent words in the human vocabulary, until you put them in order,

once they are put in this particular order, they become 3 of the most powereful and life altering words

any human could ever hear.

You must think of the person you are about to say them to.

do you really and truely love them?

or is it just the lust between your thighs you feel?

When you think of the person, do you get butterflies?

or a hard on?

Would you fly across the U.S to be with someone for a mere 2 days?

or would you wait till you could see them for longer?

Would you spend your entire day off on the phone with the one you love?

Or would you spend it running some trivial errands that really COULD wait till another day?

I honestly believe that in all my years, I never really ever thought about love and the concept of it,

What it meant, how it felt, and what I would do for it.

It is something I always took for granted, I just assumed what I felt for someone was love.

I suppose in retrospect in some way what I felt were the beginning pangs of it.

Something that tried to grow and blossom but never got the chance.

You may ask why..

Simple, because I always wound up getting hurt,

It was always one excuse after another.

Being left for a bottle of whiskey,

Finding out my husband was having an affair with a 13 yr old.

Finding out my fiance was sleeping with a man.

Being told that I came in second to a car.

Having my body used as a punching bag.

And finding out that drugs were more important than a family.

The pain from these was surprisingly bearable, and somewhat comforting in a odd twisted sort of way.

At least I knew I would survive and live to tell the tale.

The years have come and gone, a few have said these words, And oddly enough, I believed only one.

I spoke those words once before, and truely meant it.

But alas, that too came to a abrupt halt when it was discovered he was sleeping with another.

I am now glad that things have worked out as they did.

If they had not, then perhaps my life would have been a lot differant then it is now.

I guess the point of this is, don't just jump to conclusions and confuse, lust and infatuation with love.

When it comes, you will know it and all others will pale in comparison.

Lust fades away quickly.

Infatuation can lead to restraining orders.

Love is.. well I will let you know when I get to the end of it all.

Damn, I must be getting soft in my old age.

[pappyld04]

I learned these as a child since it was most always stated between Mom and all us boys, all my Grandparents, and 2 of our great Gma's! As I got to the girl stage it had come into conversation with some but I see looking back that lust was more proper. Until I met ???? then I found a new feeling to associate with that word. It is no longer a term I throw around loosely. Nor is it one that I'm afraid to throw on the table. Please take into consideration that these 3 words have different meaning/feeling/intention depending on who it is said to!

[pappyld04]

That eros is the most difficult of all in my experience!

[synirr]

Eros is generally thought of as a more superficial form of love actually, sexual in nature, and more often equated to a sort of infatuation, or mad desire. In ancient writing, eros is what drove men to kidnap/rape women, or have lovers whose love was unrequited die of despair. Eros is the mad passion of Romeo and Juliet.

Agape, on the other hand, is the deeper love one would feel for a comrade, spouse, or activity for which they have true passion. Agape is not always non-sexual like philia, but the sexual side of it doesn't take precident over the caring side like it does with eros. Eros is a fierce and fiery flash of short-lived excitement, whereas agape grows over time, building into something truly extraordinary. Agape is what we should all strive for, and what it appears our Whiskeywoman has found

[pappyld04]

IDK where this info comes from but Agape sounds like the proper term for my post.

[square]

There's a Seinfeld episode where George decides to tell his girlfriend those words. Jerry warns him that if he doesn't get an "I love you" back, it's a bad thing.

(see http://www.seinfeldscripts.com/TheFacePainter.html)

George goes ahead with it; the girlfriend responds with, "I'm hungry, Let's get something to eat."

Thinking this relationship is essentially over now, George later learns the girlfriend is part deaf. He tries again on a later date. This time she responds with, "Yeah, I know. I heard you the first time."

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To me, those words are kinda heavy duty. Before my wife, I would say I was good and in-love twice before; but I would not say those words, though like George, I wanted to at times. Why not? Shyness. Didn't know if the girl felt that way about me. And didn't want to scare her away before she got to feeling that way about me.

Even with my wife, it was a long time before I said it, and she said it first. And she said she had wanted to say it for a long time.

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When I talk to my wife on the phone, I end with a quick, muttered, "Love you." It is now habbit, to the point that I've almost said it to other people on the phone. Including her girl friends, and male and female co-workers of mine. I'd be pretty embarrassed if it happened for real.

[pappyld04]

Not trying to get on you about that but a lot of people who have lost a loved one most always express the regret of not having said these 3 words before they were taken.

[square]

With both those cases, things just weren't meant to be. In the first one, it was right in front of me and I didn't want to see it. Finally I woke up and realized it, lost interest in the girl, let things fizzle, and that was that.

In the second, I don't know that having said "love you" would have changed anything. Maybe, but the way things played out I don't think so and don't regret not saying it. "[her] No, we can't get together this weekend; I'm going to Phoenix." "[me] Oh? Mini-vacation?" "[her] No, a job interview." Ouch . . . NEXT! (not quite; took me a long time to fully get over her)

Plus she liked the southwest, and had taken a vacation to Arizona a couple of months earlier with a girl friend of hers. Her trip photos had shots of her (my girlfriend), but not one of her girl friend, so I wonder if the girl friend wasn't really a boyfriend that she had waiting in the wings out there. Either way, she was wanting to move out there, and I was not part of the plans. I had some crazy notions of following her out there, coming back if things didn't work out. Nobody I talked to thought it was a swell idea, and I came to realize I was being foolish. "We" wasn't meant to be. No regrets (in these two particular situations).

Besides, I'm much more comfortable farting, belching, picking my nose and coughing flem balls across the room around my wife then I probably ever would have been with that girlfriend.

[pappyld04]

OUCH! Doesn't sound much like love at all!

[synirr]

Thanks Iha