Puzzled

[sass]

I have been looking around on the site for awhile and I haven't found answers to a couple of my questions. If they are out there, forgive me for over-looking them. I am also new to discussing this sort of stuff, not shy but sort of private, but you all seem great so here goes:

My SO and I started as FWB and have recently (after two years) admitted there is more to it emotionally but we are still working through things. That was bound to happen, or so I am told, and isn't my question but rather important background. Because we started out as friends, we have been very open with either other about what we like sexually. I don't think he has been able to be as open with other women so I have been able to fullfill some of his fantasies that had previously been unspoken.

One day I told him to go the TT website and pick out a toy or two. To my surprise, he had me get one of the big boy dildos (the big cherry, or something like that - I would recommend it!) Anyway, when it arrived he could not wait to use it on me and was impressed that I wasn't scared of it (his words). Now when we have sex, he will often start out getting me as wet as he can (which is darn wet!) and then he uses "Big Red" for several minutes before he puts it aside and takes over. I am good with all this, it just seems a little strange to me. A guy once told me that a tight puss feels better than a big one. Is this true guys? And if so, what's the deal with my SO and his facsination with Big Red? I have thought about asking him, but I don't want him to think I am complaining, again we're in a weird place right now.

The other question, one thing he wants that we haven't done yet is a 3some. He wants both a MFM and FMF. I am game but we have agreed it has to the right people and they have not been found yet. In both cases, and especially with the MFM, he wants the other person to be a different race than we are. We're both white and I have been with guys of other races so again, I am fine with it, I am just wondering if this is strange or means something.

Thanks in advance for any advice you can give!

[Tyger]

It's great that you were able to find love (or possible) with a friend! Some of the best relationships start out as friendships! Good for you!

Men like feeling a pussy around their cock, it's true. If you're worried about becoming "loose" with that big dildo (The Dual Cherry Dong I assume, to which I did a review on it last week), then do your Kegel exercises. Clench your vagina muscles, hold for 3 seconds, then release. Do 10 reps for a while, and when that's no longer a challenge, move up. It will give you better control, and help give better orgasms!!

Most men usually love watching a sex toy of whatever they like, going in and out of their woman. It's exciting to them to be right down there in the trenches, and seeing it up close. Men are visual beings. They LOOOOOVE to watch! That's why porn is usually geared towards men's usual preferences. So, it's not surprising that he loves playing with you with a toy that he picked out, and you like using!

Best wishes!

[mystofpric]

HI hun! The toy thing I think is actually very common, I honestly don't think that it "streches" you out to the point that your not going to feel like you. It's almost like having a three some with a bigger guy, ya know?

Now the race thing, has he been with other races? Because then it could be a way to try something new things with someone he trusts and therefore in a safe enviroment. I dunno just a guess. I could be WAY off. BUt hey, at least he's open minded right? Have fun love!

[sass]

First things first: if you are still 'working things through' in your relationship understanding, it may not be the bet time to pursue a 3 way. Read Mikayla's great article on this.

I have read it and we have talked about this. We are both so totally open about things, I think all will fine as long as it is with the right person. He really enjoys the idea of me being wild sexually (he likes to hear about past experiences, wants me to talk dirty, etc.) either with him or with another man or woman. And as far as my feelings, he has another woman and it doesn't bother me - honestly - so I think whatever we have will be ok.

As for SuzyP's question, I don't know for sure if he has ever been with someone who's another race. I guess I never thought to ask him but I will next time we talk. Thanks!

[thurisas]

As for his fascination with the toy, well, men are very visual by nature. I LOVE using toys in my wife. I also love seeing the reactions. There is nothing like bringing my wife to orgasm with an insertable toy....glow in the dark is particularly fun.

Regarding the 3-some...I agree with the others, until you figure out exactly where you stand in your relationship, you should hold off on the 3some. Relationships are hard enough as it is without throwing a 3rd wheel into the mix. As it stands now, you two aren't even steady as it is. Wait until you see how this is going to pan out and then if the interest is still there, go for it. Until then, be creative with toys.

Randy.

[sun_flower969]

I have been looking around on the site for awhile and I haven't found answers to a couple of my questions. If they are out there, forgive me for over-looking them. I am also new to discussing this sort of stuff, not shy but sort of private, but you all seem great so here goes:

My SO and I started as FWB and have recently (after two years) admitted there is more to it emotionally but we are still working through things. That was bound to happen, or so I am told, and isn't my question but rather important background. Because we started out as friends, we have been very open with either other about what we like sexually. I don't think he has been able to be as open with other women so I have been able to fullfill some of his fantasies that had previously been unspoken.

I read below that he has a girlfriend, but you might be starting to have feelings for him? This could get complicated, especially if he is not willing to leave her you might get hurt.

One day I told him to go the TT website and pick out a toy or two. To my surprise, he had me get one of the big boy dildos (the big cherry, or something like that - I would recommend it!) Anyway, when it arrived he could not wait to use it on me and was impressed that I wasn't scared of it (his words). Now when we have sex, he will often start out getting me as wet as he can (which is darn wet!) and then he uses "Big Red" for several minutes before he puts it aside and takes over. I am good with all this, it just seems a little strange to me. A guy once told me that a tight puss feels better than a big one. Is this true guys?

I actually asked my H this question and he said it is, "total bullshit" During sex your vagina swells and contracts so the tightness is all relevant to your state of arousal. Virginal tightness is just a psychological male fantasy IMHO. I was insecure about this because I just had a 3rd child. HE reassured me about this so I feel good about it now.

And if so, what's the deal with my SO and his facsination with Big Red? I have thought about asking him, but I don't want him to think I am complaining, again we're in a weird place right now.

The other question, one thing he wants that we haven't done yet is a 3some. He wants both a MFM and FMF. I am game but we have agreed it has to the right people and they have not been found yet. In both cases, and especially with the MFM, he wants the other person to be a different race than we are. We're both white and I have been with guys of other races so again, I am fine with it, I am just wondering if this is strange or means something.

I just have to say BE CAREFUL! Especially since he has a girlfriend. He is trying to get you to do all these things, maybe that his girl wont? Imagine if she found out that you 2 have been going at it and that you had a 3-some together behind her back! That is pretty bad! Like why is he even with her if he is doing all this with you? She would be devastated. NO judgment OK but it could get very very messy and you will end up with a lot of drama!

Thanks in advance for any advice you can give!

[sass]

Thanks to all of you for being so great.

As for the big toy fascination, I'm glad to hear this is fairly normal. I just have never been with a guy with such an interest before (or at least not one who would express it)

Where the 3some is concerned, I'm sure you all are right in that we need to wait. We both want to do it but I don't think either of us want to mess up what we may have going. I'll keep you posted, and thanks again!!!