Members pappyld04 Posted July 13, 2008 Members Report Share Posted July 13, 2008 This runs into an area that some may feel is not proper, I know I did, but she is in need of help and I thought this may be the place to ask about her problem! A woman was asking for advice on how to handle this situation with her 16yo son. She caught him masturbating with her panties in his mouth and she is going crazy trying to figure out how to handle this without inhibiting the natural sexual urges of boys. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members thurisas Posted July 13, 2008 Members Report Share Posted July 13, 2008 My first inclination would not to approach him regarding the masturbation, that in itself is normal. The real problem seems to be the boundary that has been crossed in that he was using her panties. I can understand the panty thing, I suppose, after all there is a certain odor and taste that goes with the female body althought it is a little odd that he would use his mothers. On the other hand, you have the convenience factor as far as his supply of female panies goes. My suggestion would be to have a talk about boundaries with other people's possessions making sure not to discourage sexual expression.I'm not a parent, though, so take this for what it's worth.Randy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mikayla1 Posted July 13, 2008 Members Report Share Posted July 13, 2008 While this initially might seem shocking, it really isn't THAT bad. Come on, what does a 16 year old boy have access to besides things in the house? His mom's panties and such are probably the only 'womanly' things that he can get his hands on. I suppose he was masturbating or fantasizing while touching them, then put them up to his mouth and 'whal-la' there you have it. Many boys get their first fantasies from their mothers. It is totally Freudian, I know, oedipal complex and all that, but I assure you, it is normal. I would suggest she just ask him to not touch her private things - this includes her underwear and bras - her room is off limits. Leave it at that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members mystofpric Posted July 14, 2008 Members Report Share Posted July 14, 2008 I totally agree with Randy and Mikayla. I would say that she give him $20, and tell him to go buy panties (no they wouldn't have that fresh worn feeling) but it's better than mom's. Or let him spend teh $20 on whatever he ould liek for it, she doesn't have to or I'm sure want to know. She just needs to make it clear that what he was doing (masturbating) wasn't wrong, what he was using and how he got it was. Although, i think one thing is clear, he's not having sex or he'd be using someone else's panties. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members mystofpric Posted July 14, 2008 Members Report Share Posted July 14, 2008 I've treated cases like this. It certainly is not shocking or surprising that a boy would be aroused by women's undergarments, or that he is masturbating. But, as everyone can clearly see, the weirdness factor is in that it is his mother's panties. Unfortunately, this is not just a boundary issue. For a child to seek out a PARENT'S underwear in a paraphillia behavior is very indicative of a much deeper issue in the relationship between parent and child, and could point to an 'emotional incestuous relationship'. This does not mean literal incest, but a relationship in which the parent and child are unnaturally emotionally bonded and mutually intrusive psychologically. This is a situation, if someone approached me, I would strongly recommend treatment ASAP.Iha is it not possible that it is just all that was available? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members mystofpric Posted July 14, 2008 Members Report Share Posted July 14, 2008 There is a thing called the 'incest taboo' that is gained unconsciously from about the end of the oedipal-electra period (about age 3-4 when boys are 'in love' with Mommy, and girls are 'in love' and want to marry Daddy) that grows through the years and would make the incidental use less than credible. In short, it would be too much of an 'ewwe' factor to be attractive to the average boy.Gotcha. So for curioius minds, how would this be treated? Clearly just tossing him a playboy isn't gonna cut it then. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest naughtymaid Posted July 14, 2008 Report Share Posted July 14, 2008 Whoa! That sounds like he may have a fetish. I would just sit him down and say hey nothing to be ashamed about and ask about the panties..I mean if you are not upfront with your children they will not be upfront with you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members pappyld04 Posted July 14, 2008 Author Members Report Share Posted July 14, 2008 The posts recieved so far are the very reason I came here for answers. I could understand a panty fetish but it was the fact of the person they belonged to that had my jaw on the floor. I'm trying to get her a link to this site without letting the kids know about it. I cannot believe some of the things I read over there. I appreciate all who replied for getting past the shock factor and giving great advice and I hope you don't mind me copying and pasting them to her so that I can give each of you credit for your input. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members pappyld04 Posted July 15, 2008 Author Members Report Share Posted July 15, 2008 iha is your site up and running yet? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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