Lost Interest

[Alantis]

Have you ever lost interest in something that you really found appealing before a break up?

I don't find lesbian sex all that appealing anymore. Let me explain, the first girl I ever had sex with was a fucking psycho. She'd cut herself and show me it to make me worry about her and she was just too intense for me. I was only 14 at the time and extremely naive (lol prob still am). After I broke up with her she told me she was pregnant with my baby, grabbed a knife and held it to her throat. She told me she was going to kill herself and our baby if I didn't go back out with her. I freaked and ran out of the room. She was in and out of school for awhile due to constant attempts at suicide. I left that school and went to another one and it's obvious to say that I have some issues over sex. Then years later I ended up meeting my highschool sweetheart. This girl and I had AMAZING SEX. She's one of two girls who's ever taken the time to get me to two orgasms and it's really hard for me to have one, let alone two. Oh, and I take forever to cum and she was able to get me off in 5 mins once or twice which is a record for me lol. We then started talking about maybe having a 3 some. I was totally into it bc she wanted to have it with another girl. A couple weeks into us talking about this and me talking about it during sex, we broke up. A month later she was dating a girl she was living with.

I was crushed. For the longest time I thought it was ME that drove her to becoming a lesbian and I kept wondering what I had done wrong or what I could've done better. Looking back on it years later and with awesome friends to talk it out with and therapy I realize she always was a lesbian at heart. She never had any boyfriends other than me and one asshole. I think with me she was trying to be "Normal" (dear lord I hate that stereotype, and her family probably pushed that idea into her head)with me, but you can't deny who you are. I don't hold anything against her and the relationship for what it was, was freaken amazing. I've dated another girl in the past few years who I think was bicurious and Idk, the idea turned me on but at the same time I still had so many issues with her leaving me for a girl that I'm kinda turned off to the lesbian/3some thing.

Sry, long post, anyone else find stuff like that though? That you were once really into something but a bad break up or whatever turns you off to it? And are there any ppl out there who have gotten over things like that?

[Mikayla1]

This is completely natural. If something happens that causes you pain your mind tries to protect you from that experience again. Defense mechanism.

[Tyger]

Well, some things can indeed make you less likely to care for them, if you blame yourself, such as your situation indicated a while ago. You went to counselling, which is great. Has that girl ever just told you that you were the cause of her "turning lesbain"? I doubt it. People don't just "turn" gay/bisexual. Thru counselling, I'm sure you've learned that. Maybe you haven't fully encompassed that in your mind, but you really should. Many gay people, as you said, do try to have a "normal" lifestyle. Whether it's to please others around them, or they're in self-denial.

I had a guy I had been crazy for, tell me, right after a great date, that he didn't think he was gay, cuz he liked girls too much, but he thought he was bisexual. I had also been his first GF 3 yrs prior. We'd never slept together, but, I did stop seeing him. Hey, a 17 yr old's ego is a fragile thing. I was scared, but I didn't blame myself, for the most part. Whatever small blame (you can't help it to do so even a tad, though it makes no sense) I had, went away, once I learned more about bi/homosexuality. I regrettind dropping him so fast, and have since apologized to him for doing such. He told me he'd kinda expected it, but wanted to let me know then.

Now, whether or not that you will ever get over that, is anyone's guess. You may not. If girl-on-girl just doesn't get you off at all, then what's the big deal? If you miss it a little bit, then you've got a mental block. But, not ALL "normal" guys like to see girl-on-girl. It doesn't mean you're odd. If you don't miss it at all, then there shouldn't be an issue, right?

Not on a sexual nature, but one year, when I was a teen, I got super uber sick, and all I wanted to eat were Cocoa Puffs. Now, to this DAY, I can't even stomach smelling it! I have NO interest in most chocolate cereals now. Yes, I said it, a woman, there is some form of chocolate I just don't even want!!

So yes, it happens IRL, in all areas, not just sexual.

Best wishes to you!