Female Masturabation And Embarrasment?

[telecom69]

My girlfriend (45 yrs old) uses her vibrator a couple of times a week, but tells me sometimes she feels embarrased when she is done maturbating, even though she is alone. She is still over coming a lot of issues about sex, how she was raised, past relationships, masturbation, etc. Just curious, has any other women out there felt like this?

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[Mikayla1]

My girlfriend (45 yrs old) uses her vibrator a couple of times a week, but tells me sometimes she feels embarrased when she is done maturbating, even though she is alone. She is still over coming a lot of issues about sex, how she was raised, past relationships, masturbation, etc. Just curious, has any other women out there felt like this?

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As you might expect I am not embarrassed about sex, but I do have friends who are. When they ask me about it, why I am so comfortable with it, I just tell them I figure that it is my right to feel pleasure from sex and masturbation. That it is my body and my right to derive pleasure with it and from it. That I can't spend time worrying or feeling guilty about masturbation or sex because I have other things to worry about that are far more important.

Most of my friends who ask are Catholic, and I wonder if it is the religious aspect that deters them. I tell them that God wouldn't have made sex and the pleasure you get from masturbation so great if he didn't want you to do it.

I don't know what other people think, but that is my view on it, and what I tell my friends. Sometimes it works, sometimes not.

Mikayla

[telecom69]

I think Mikayla has gotten it right. I grew up in a heavily Catholic neighborhood, and both the boys and girls were heavily indoctrinated about the sins of the flesh. But, as I grew older, and met more people in college, where students are more open about talking about sex, I found that other religions taught the same thing. It is not just the Roman Catholics who have the problem. Many protestant denominations, and non-christian religions teach that masturbation, and feeling pleasure is a sin. I think that may be one of the reasons the Kama Sutra, and other writings from Eastern Religions have been so fascinating to Americans, as they teach people to accept the pleasure of their own body as a means to get closer to God. It is also historically one of the reasons Europeans thought most Native American Tribes were " heathen"-because they did not believe that sex was wrong, and feeling good was evil. The same happened in the 19th century when missionaries emigrated to Hawaii and other Pacific Islands, and found cultures that had no sexual taboos. The missionaries were horrified!

If God did not want you to enjoy your body, he would not have given you the sense of touch, and special places that make you feel great! Rather than seeing sex as a tool of the devil, I tell people that Sex, in all its aspects is a gift from God.

Masturbation may be a exclusive substitute for intercourse, but in most cases, it is a nice substitute that is used when a partner is not available to have intercourse. Masturbation is a great stress reliever, and it also helps you learn to relax, to have orgasms, and multiple orgasms, at will, and in the process, you sensitize your brain to feel pleasure from many areas of your body that did not give you pleasure to touch before you masturbated. For all those reasons, Masturbation is not only NOT WRONG,( sorry about the double negatives) but it is very right. What people indoctrinated in certain religious beliefs about sex being sinful have to do, and don't like to do, is think for themselves, and understand that Organized Religion can be wrong about some things it teaches, while being right about others. Rejecting one religious belief does not require you to reject all of them. This can be very hard to do, and we all need to support each other in these matters.

My gf did grow up Catholic, mother actually told her she hated sex with her father, told her to not masturbate and it was bad, etc. I'm still amazed how these things can effect a person so many years later in life. I've pretty much told her all you said. Masturbation is ok and there is nothing to feel embarassed or guilty about. Loving someone deeply like I do her, I want her to experience emotional and physical pleasure all she can. If that's by herself masturbating, that is ok with me. I've bought her all the toys she has. For her to masturbate herself with a vibe (she still can't with her hand) while we're having intercouse is a MAJOR step for her she tells me. She will do that often. She isn't quite there to do it by herself in front of me without intercourse, but she said she would like to. Time is long with her for these things, but I just try to keep it in perspective that it took many years for these things to be stamped in her mind, and it will take awhile to get them out.

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