Members sugarlips Posted December 17, 2008 Members Report Share Posted December 17, 2008 I have a question for the experts. My SO takes a long time to cum, everytime. He always has. It doesn't matter if we're having sex or if he's masterbating, it takes a very long time. Now I'm certainly not complaining, although sometimes a quicky would be nice. But, he's been concerned and sometimes frustrated about it. Is there something that he or I could be doing to help speed things along? I thought perhaps he just has too much on his plate to completely clear his mind enough to cum. But, since he's said it's always been this way for him that maybe there's something else going on? (If it matters, he's 26.) Thanks for all thoughts and opinions!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members dscn Posted December 17, 2008 Members Report Share Posted December 17, 2008 maybe try to tease him before hand. fondle him get him really revved up. try masterbate in front of him and tease him that way Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members sugarlips Posted December 17, 2008 Author Members Report Share Posted December 17, 2008 I definitely already do that. Getting him excited isn't the problem, it's getting to the "finish line". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members elise Posted December 17, 2008 Members Report Share Posted December 17, 2008 Hmm. I don't think I have enough information to give you a thorough answer. How long a time are you talking about? 15 minutes? An hour? What kind of sex... oral, vaginal, anal? My man usually has to fuck me for a good 10-15 minutes before he's ready to come (vaginal sex), a bit less if we're having anal, and a lot longer if I'm giving him a blowjob. I enjoy his staying power... the longer he lasts, the more orgasms I have. But I know what you mean, sometimes you just want your man to come right now.There are a few things I've found that can make my man come faster. If I get him to penetrate me as soon as he's got a hard-on, he'll come much faster. Also, if we watch porn or read some erotica together for a while before we have sex he'll be really turned on and will come faster. The only "on-demand" way I have for making him come right now is to put my finger in his ass while he's fucking me. I can't quite reach his prostate gland, but the anal stimulation usually makes him come very soon, ten or fifteen seconds. Maybe you can give that a try and see how your lover reacts. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Neuroticax Posted December 17, 2008 Members Report Share Posted December 17, 2008 Another way is have him masturbate within hour of your guys having sex. That works for my SO. When he drinks he takes FOREVER to cum! So he does it before we go out, when we come home, it's all good. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members sugarlips Posted December 17, 2008 Author Members Report Share Posted December 17, 2008 To give a little more info, a "quicky" for him is 20 minutes. It's usually a minimum of 30, up to an hour or more. It doesn't matter if it's vaginal or oral - he's not into anal. If he masterbates first, then he won't cum at all during sex. Not a big drinker so that's not the issue. I too enjoy his staying power - actually a new experience for me, all others in the past were too quick to cum. So, I'm not bothered in the least by his staying power. But, sometimes we're both so tired that I think we would both like it to move along a bit quicker. Will have to talk to him about maybe watching porn together to see if that helps. Thanks for the suggestion there.Also, we are both turned on by the idea of sex in public, but without being able to do so quickly - well we don't actually WANT to get caught! Obviously watching porn isn't an option there. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Neuroticax Posted December 17, 2008 Members Report Share Posted December 17, 2008 I'm all too familiar with the 20-30-40min quickies!I hope you find something that works. Hopefully watching the porn and teasing him until he's ready to pop will do the trick. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tyger Posted December 17, 2008 Report Share Posted December 17, 2008 This may just be the way he's wired. Some women LOVE to have nipple stimulation, others can't stand it. Many men love the feel of oral sex, and others don't. Maybe he has to have a certain amount of stimulation to relax and be able to let go.He may be worrying about lasting too long, and someone's complained or pressured him about it in the past, and so, it's stuck, and now, he worries, overcomplicating the situation. Get ideas to see if they'll make a difference, however, don't keep bringing it up to him. The more pressure he feels to try and cum quicker, the longer it may take! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members mystofpric Posted December 18, 2008 Members Report Share Posted December 18, 2008 Well Iha beat me to it! Definitely doing his Kegels will help! Just like in a woman those muscles are important. Well said as always Iha Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members sugarlips Posted December 18, 2008 Author Members Report Share Posted December 18, 2008 Thanks for the suggestions. He's not on any medications, nor does he have any medical conditions. He's not circumsized. I certainly don't keep bringing it up as it doesn't bother me, but HE keeps bringing it up. He seems bothered by it. I'll show him this thread and the suggestions made here. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members panab Posted December 19, 2008 Members Report Share Posted December 19, 2008 An interesting technique that could work is to say or do something taboo. Push your finger up his anus and tell him to fuck his little school girl. It doesn't really matter what you do; it's just that since what your doing and saying doesn't make any sense his mind gets overstimulated and just releases. At least I know this works for many guys I know. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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